It's the Only Life You've Got  Arc 1
by raiderl
Summary: One year after leaving Runway Andy and Miranda meet up again and realize there exists an undeniable attraction between them.
1. Prologue and Chapters 1 thru 3

**It's the Only Life You've Got… Arc I  
>…so you better just live it<strong>

**Author: **raiderL  
><strong>Pairing: <strong>Miranda/Andrea  
><strong>Rating: <strong>M (or 18 or NC-17, take your pick)  
><strong>Summary:<strong> One year after leaving Runway Andy and Miranda meet up again and realize that there is an undeniable attraction between them. That they both know that the bond between them is more than merely physical doesn't mean there aren't roadblocks, namely Miranda's trust issues and her daughters' acceptance. **  
>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own the characters in created in either the book or the movie The Devil Wears Prada and I make no money off of this work of fan fiction. I am merely having fun, thinking "_What if?_" after the movie's end. Oh, there are a few characters in here that you may not recognize, they were created by me; please be kind and allow them to remain in their own little fantasy world.  
><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I have taken liberties with some of the supporting character histories, names and characterizations so that they serve my own purposes, some of them (like Miranda's ex-husband) are names used in other fan-fictions so I tip my hat to whoever may have used it first.**  
>Author's Note: <strong>_**Thank you to bearblue for her awesome beta work and encouragement!  
><strong>_**Archiving: **Only with permission of the author.

**Prologue**

'_Oh my god, what is it about that woman?'_ Andrea (Andy to most of the world, except for HER) Sachs, yearling reporter for the New York Daily Mirror, cursed herself for the fifteenmillionth time. How, after nearly twelve months of no contact, other than glimpses in the press and, she admitted, the occasional not-so-accidental near misses in front of the Elias-Clarke building, could the terror of the fashion stratosphere cause the now considerably less naïve woman to quiver.

'Quiver?' Her mind was aghast, pissed, disconsolate, curious, interested, hopelessly hopeful; a miasma of conflicting and confusing thoughts brought upon by a simple involuntary response.

Miranda Priestley, hell-spawn herself, made Andrea Sachs wet and further denial was pointless. That the young woman could finally call to the light of day what had only until that point lurked in the deep recesses of her mind pointed to her growing maturity and self-awareness. She'd learned a lot in the year since she left Miranda, _'Dammit! Runway, not Miranda; I left Runway!'_

Okay, she wasn't perfect; apparently much enlightenment was still to be had.

But she _**had**_ left Miranda and she threw down the New York Times in disgust. Surely that publication would have been safe from mention of the Dragon herself. When she had shivered into the mid-November chill to pick up the paper with her usual Sunday morning chocolate croissant she had relaxed with the assumption that she could get lost in perusal of the one daily for whom she most wanted to work; not be smacked in the groin with a particularly striking image of The Queen as she held court in the boardroom.

It seems that one Irv Ravitz, chairman of the board of Elias-Clarke Publications was out and, at least in the interim, one grand dame of fashion was in.

"Wow". It was barely uttered; the only word that could escape as she barely made it to the coffee table when she distractedly set down her mug, blindly fixated on the disarray of newsprint where it had fallen on the floor. She stared for several minutes, not seeing anything of her immediate surroundings; instead a parade of Mirandas took up her vision. Gliding elegantly at the benefit in that exquisite Valentino gown; hips swaying, unselfconsciously provocative, in the Bill Blass pants; that brown sweater dipping innocently over uninterrupted skin, fascinating even in the dawning horror of what Emily would see as her betrayal. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, aware of her heart rate increasing with each memory. The woman was all grace and power; an understated beauty cloaked in a mantle of control that had unknowingly captured the younger woman and had never let her free.

Andy recalled the moment the battle had been lost. Miranda in that white Donna Karan trench framing the black "V" of The Suit, offset by the casual pale jeweled Egyptian charm necklace and capped by her ubiquitous sunglasses and the iconic hairdo at its most severe. Sure the low cut silk Valentino blouse beneath the trench was sexier, but that day when she was invited to join her in the elevator at James Holt studios will forever remain as the trip-trigger on the livewire that not only jumpstarted Andy's clit but, more significantly, her life.

The reporter slumped back into the smooth comfort of her new couch and rubbed her eyes with both hands. Who was she kidding? If it was just her libido that was ignited, she wouldn't really be having a problem as she could easily find (and in fact had found on a couple of occasions) another beautiful someone to scratch that itch. No, this was exponentially worse; the dragon had charged in and took her heart without so much as a nod or even a purse of the lips. Andy Sachs was no longer able to deny that she was in love with Miranda Priestley.

l l l l l l l

_It was another long, tiring day, a week after watching the back of Irv Ravitz exit in a defeat so stunning that it surprised even me. I am finding that even though I have had great pleasure in seeing that little troll of a man finally get his just desserts that there is still an emptiness that pervades my very being._

Miranda Priestley, Editor in Chief of Runway magazine and current board chair of Elias Clarke publications lifted her Montblanc Boheme Paso Doble red lacquer fountain pen from the fine vellum writing surface and lightly pressed the non-business end to her bottom lip. She sighed, sight landing on the wall clock of her comfortable study. Twelve thirty in the morning. She unconsciously ran the pads of her perfectly manicured fingertips over the sensuously textured surface of a smallish bone colored envelope used as her bookmark, and continued.

_I have always had little tolerance for those who wallow in uncertainty and prevarication in their lives; after all, sitting in one place does not move a body forward. To question oneself as to motive and desire is to invite doubt. Doubt kills the creative energy and the will to succeed._

Another pause, another unconscious caress of the envelope that housed a letter so dear. 'And yet.'

_And yet. That is exactly what I find myself doing this night. Questioning, wondering. Fifty-one years have I walked this earth and I have reached heights for which few would dare aspire let alone attain. And here I sit in my comfortable home with more money than I, or my children, will ever need and I wonder. Where did my creative fire go? Where is my spark, my joie de vivre?_

Miranda's gaze lifted and again the pen paused, as she stared into the collective vision of several key life moments and also of select family members. She snorted delicately.

_Considering the longevity of those in my genetic ancestry, I perhaps am only a little over half-way through my lifespan. I could ride this wave of achievement for decades as there are few who would now challenge me. And yet. A nagging question is pushing its will forward; it's been lurking for weeks if not months, perhaps longer. I have been struggling to hold it in, to control its blasphemous audacity. But does the refusal to name something make it any less real? That way, denial, is for fools. I am not a fool. So now I will ask it of myself and then I shall think on it for some while until it once again compels me to highjack precious moments of my time in rumination of its merits. _

The editor paused, pen poised to inscribe the words that she knows, once acknowledged will herald only chaos and change.

_Is this all there is?_

**Chapter One**

Andy's daily weekday routine was pretty much set, up at 6:15, shower, dress in comfortable clothes, albeit still with an eye for fashion and appropriate to her work environment, out the door at 7:00, stop at the corner coffeehouse (_**not**_ Starbucks!) for a large Americano and then into the tunnels of the New York transit system's Broadway line. Once settled on the train she would check over her iPad planner, making notes for the day while sipping her coffee and munching on a power bar. The train ride from 110 St. to 50th St. could take from fifteen to thirty minutes during rush hour and then it was a 10 to 15 minute walk, depending upon whether or not she felt like braving the Elias-Clarke, walk by. Most mornings found her settled behind her desk by 7:55.

On this particular Monday morning, mindful of her Sunday morning revelations, the young reporter decided to risk a sighting and took 50th street all the way to 6th avenue. However, as she passed the towering metal and glass structure of the publishing conglomerate, it was not the queen of fashion she happened upon, but instead her ever faithful right hand.

"Six!" A well groomed bald man stepped from a cab and waved casually to the young woman on the sidewalk. At his hail, her smile split across her face and she shifted her bag to her right arm in order to engage him in a hug.

"Good morning Nigel. You look really great!" He was wearing a particularly well cut double breasted suit in dove gray; his starched, high collared white shirt highlighted with one of the newest Ralph Lauren ties, complete with diamond tie pin.

He made an exaggerated show of ogling her top to bottom and while he "tsked" at her basic black Doc Martens his head still bobbed up and down with approval. "Very nice dear, you make young, urban chic work very well, but you still hold onto some classics. Is that Chanel?" He fingered the draping cowl necked black woven blouse that tucked loosely into True Religion black jeans; beneath her leather bomber jacket it was a striking contrast.

"Sure is! I've found the best 2nd hand boutique, so although it may be last season; I'm at least still able to afford a few really nice pieces. Glad you approve." She bumped him with her shoulder and prepared to ask him how he was doing when her eyes travelled behind him to the street as a familiar black Mercedes pulled towards the curb.

"Whoops, I'd love to stay and chat but I really need to run." She feinted a glance to her watch and tried to control her nervous stutter. "C-call me okay? It'sbeentoolongBye!"

Nigel stood there with his back to the street trying to figure out what happened until a low voice broke him from his reverie. "Honestly Nigel, have you nothing better to do this morning than provide a roadblock for the teeming hordes?"

He shook his head and stepped out of the path of a determined office worker barreling past in an ill-fitting tan trench that covered a flowered polyester dress, opaque nude colored hose, tube socks and tennis shoes. He shuddered in horror. "My hero, saving me from near certain catastrophe!"

The silver-haired woman merely snorted, but then inquired. "What had you so rooted that you were nearly trampled by that plodding unfortunate?" She watched him carefully, waiting to see his response.

"Oh?" He looked for nonchalance and actually achieved it. "I just ran into an old friend and was contemplating our conversation." They arrived at the elevators.

Miranda wouldn't let it drop. "Anyone I know?" Just as he was about to reply the doors of a car opened and Miranda stepped inside. Giving himself a mental high five at his luck, he immediately deflated when she glared at him and dipped her head. Apparently today was the day that the Dragon wished accompaniment for her ride up to the Runway offices.

Resigned to his fate he decided to answer honestly. "Actually Miranda, yes, it was someone you know. Andy Sachs."

Miranda leveled her gaze and forced her own equanimity to be maintained. "Oh and what priceless nugget was our erstwhile employee imparting today? Tell me; is she still out saving the world?"

Nigel mentally rolled his eyes, willing the damn elevator to hurry the hell up. "She looked really good. I didn't have the opportunity for much conversation as apparently _our_ girl was in quite the rush." He couldn't resist placing the emphasis on "our", just to tweak the woman. Something in his bones told him that the flash and fire Miranda offered every time her former assistant's name was mentioned was all an elaborate act. _'And acting like she doesn't care? Ha!_' But Nigel kept his eyes forward and managed to suppress a sigh of relief when the metal doors slid open to reveal the sleek reception area of Runway Magazine. He did not hesitate to exit quickly and with a harried, "I've a meeting in five" he made all haste away from his complicated boss and towards the sanctuary of his office.

Miranda for her part was left quite discombobulated by the prior five minutes. That's all it took. Actually, not even five minutes, rather one glance. One fleeting eye sweep of the sidewalk outside the window of her Mercedes to spy a smiling Andrea Sachs as she interacted with her fashion editor/art director pulled the breath from her lungs and left her dizzy. She recalled the sudden uncomfortable urge to remain seated until the woman wandered away, but had then straightened in her seat. _'I shrink from no one!'_

However that slight hesitation was all it took for Andrea to sight her car, oh yes, she saw the moment the young woman realized who was pulling to the curb, those expressive eyes widening in fleeting panic, and then making all haste away from any contact. She supposed she was relieved that the girl knew enough to get out of her way, although instead of self-satisfaction she felt instead only an aching void.

Unwilling to contemplate too long, she turned her sights on sport. Nigel was the convenient target and certainly provided her with several moments of amusement, a successful diversion. She smirked remembering Nigel's discomfort in their ascent to the office; certainly he would be bound and determined to avoid running into her in the morning for several weeks to come. With this thought she adjusted her dragon mask and set it with the first quiet "Emily…" of the day.

l l l l l l l

Later that same day Andrea noted an email from Nigel in her inbox; while they had gotten together occasionally since her leaving it was still a rare occasion for them to correspond.

"_Six, it was delightful to see you today! I'm having a holiday gathering in three weeks, a Saturday, and am hoping that this is early enough notice for you to be able to attend. 7:00PM. My loft. Ciao!"_

Andy smiled and replied with a definite yes. It wasn't like her social calendar was packed with exciting invitations and obligations. Aside from a weekly gathering of some of her fellow reporters at a bar around the corner from the Mirror and the occasional lunch, dinner or drinks with Lily and, sometimes, Doug, she really didn't go out all that much. Doug would sometimes try to talk her into clubbing with him on the weekends, but it was rare recently that she would take him up on it. Ever since that last night out about six weeks before, when she ended up drinking more than she should. Honestly, didn't she know better by now? But the day before, Andy had caught a glimpse of her former boss as she was interviewed entering some fundraising gala, and she couldn't get the image of her out of her mind. She left the bar with someone who definitely was attractive and did turn her on, but who definitely _didn't _interest her, and then woke up in an unfamiliar bed next to the blond haired (cut short and so blond it was nearly white), blue-eyed beauty. That it was unfortunate the woman seemed intent on reading more into the experience was an understatement; the ensuing avoidance of the woman's calls (how had she gotten her work number anyway?) and her presence at the club was wearing and it left Andy feeling very uninspired to repeat the error.

Andrea's mental meanderings focused back on her friends. It had been a slow process since Nate left, but they were finally finding a way, if not back, to a place that was better. Andy had finally stood up for herself and declared that they either needed to accept her in her new complexity or move on. Her heart to heart with Lily resulted in the childhood friends being tighter than ever. Their schedules didn't allow them to socialize often, but they texted, emailed and talked at least once a week. Once Doug realized he didn't have to choose sides and then discovering that there was a kindred spirit in Andy in terms of each of them finally realizing that they were more interested in members of their own sex; they were set.

If only it had been as easy with her family. They had been disappointed in her breakup with Nate, but weren't all that surprised, particularly her mother who said she really didn't think they were that well suited to one another anyway. No, the coming out to her parents had not gone all that smoothly. Once again her mother had pleasantly surprised her, just said that she had had a feeling and although she voiced that she had really been hoping that she was wrong, mainly because she knew it would be a harder road for her child, she accepted Andy's revelation with love and support.

Her dad, well, he was still trying to adjust. Or actually, it didn't appear that adjustment was anywhere on the horizon for him. When he wasn't trying to figure out what he had done to make his little girl not like men, he was praying that her soul wouldn't go to hell. Andy mentally shivered and then shrugged it off; heading home to visit her family for Thanksgiving was going to be the first time they had seen her since the big announcement six months prior. She was hoping that the three days and two nights spent in each other's company would somehow help everyone adjust just a little bit better. She was thankful that her older sister, Amanda, not only said that she had known all along, but was really happy for her having finally figured it out. Amanda, her husband Michael and their two kids Janey and Jeremy, would also be flying "home" for the weekend and she had promised to help run interference as much as possible.

That was only a little over a week away and, in between, she had a lot of work to get done. Having been recently upgraded beyond writing about parking meter disputes and trash collection she was working on a story regarding the city transit department's newest campaign to combat terrorism on its many transportation venues. Not hard-hitting investigative reporting by any means, but it was a positive step in the right direction and it did mean that she got to go behind the scenes of the city's subway.

The underground world and its pulsing arteries had always fascinated her, not only because it allowed her to observe the many unique individuals that made up the highly diversified landscape of New York humanity, but because of the very feel of the experience itself.

She loved to stand on the subway platform, anticipation full within her as she awaited the subtle pressure shift that indicated a train was approaching. If it was later at night or if it was a less used station she would often watch the rats as they traversed the rails looking for food dropped from the platform above, impressed that even their tiny brains were able to absorb that the one larger rail was to be avoided. They would begin to scatter with that pressure change and none would dare linger once the rush of the wind pushed forward from the tunnel into the station. Once on the train she would often step between the cars and watch as the beams and rock and concrete flashed by. Riding in the first car was equally fascinating as the beam of the train headlight would illuminate the catacombs, sparking her imagination of civilizations formed underground and mutant beings lingering just beyond the light.

So the opportunity to actually accompany a transit cop on their beat and then to have a guided walking tour of one of the tunnels just beyond the station satisfied her even as she was still disappointed in the level of journalism involved. That was scheduled for tomorrow. Today she had to finish her article on the various holiday venues offering entertainment to both tourists and city dwellers. Sigh.

l l l l l l l

_I saw Andrea today. Only a glimpse, for as soon as the girl laid sight upon me she ran as fast as she could in the other direction. Of course, I would inspire such fits of flight so I was not surprised. No, no; not by that. I was caught completely unawares by the emotions sparked within me at the moment I recognized that shining black hair and those deep chocolate eyes. I am beyond disgusted with myself for even feeling it, so much so that I have not even decided if I am going to describe it here. _

Miranda sat back in her desk chair, letting her favorite fountain pen rest upon the blotter. Once again her fingers gently caressed the fine paper of her place marker. After a few moments passed she let out a sharp bark of disgust.

_Surely I am insane! But I think it's even more insane to lie to oneself. If I cannot fully express myself in my journal then what is the use in it? I was excited when I realized who was talking to Nigel and then that dropped immediately upon her realization that I was near; a spiraling dive into sadness and longing. _

_That girl has always been special to me; a special project is what I believe I told myself when she was still in my employ. But even then it was a lie, her unselfconscious beauty, her desire to succeed, her intelligence all combined to form a very appealing presence. Of course I was required to ignore it and of course now, nothing has changed. I have no recourse except to catch glimpses at random or to read her work at that struggling paper at which she is still employed. There is no other possibility and therefore my continued thought on the matter needs to stop._

_If only I could control my dreams so easily. _

"Mommy?"

Miranda lifted her head to look at her youngest by several minutes, Cassidy, standing before her in her pajamas. Her eyes cut to the clock and a frown formed.

"What is it darling? Didn't I tuck you in some hours ago?"

"I don't feel good, I just threw up and now I feel cold." The red head moved over to where her mother was sitting and crawled into her lap. It took a bit of maneuvering but Miranda managed to close the leather cover on her journal and gather her child in. She was really too big to do this anymore but as she felt the burning forehead she understood the need for Cassidy to have her mother close.

"Honey, you _**are **_very warm. We need to take your temperature and then get you some Tylenol and water. Do you think you would be able to keep that down sweetie?" The gentleness in her tone would be foreign to anyone outside of her home. Her children suffered many times because of the demands of her position, but she would never make them question the love and tenderness she had for them, nor shake their belief that she would do anything for them.

It was a full hour later until the editor was able to return to her desk all the while knowing she needed to be in bed; oddly compelled to somehow finish what she had started. But as she re-read what she had written she realized that there were no further words to be said on the matter. It was what it was.

She, a middle-aged woman, had an attachment to a woman half her age. It was ridiculous! She felt ridiculous. She slammed the cover closed and locked it back into the desk drawer, as if imprisoning her words would somehow contain the emotions.

As she attempted to sleep all she could do was ask over and over. _"What is wrong with me?"_

l l l l l l l

Andy was working half a day before her flight out to Ohio.

Today the topic for the article she finishing was at least interesting to her. The article was about power of attorney and medical power attorney for unmarried couples. Andy, although unpaired, also saw the relevancy to her own life. She thought about what would happen if she had an accident or a catastrophic medical emergency like a stroke. Who would be making the decisions?

She trusted that her mother would want to make the right decision for her, but recognized that her father could very well make life difficult, if not down-right impossible, and if she was in such a state she didn't want her mom to have to go through that. His rabid right-to-life stance would have her hooked up to a machine for eternity; she shuddered at the thought.

So she had decided to research her article by creating a medical power of attorney, a power of attorney for other decisions and a hospital visitation authorization declaring who should be allowed in her hospital room if ever the need should arise. She had a lawyer friend of Doug's help her out with the paperwork, which wasn't entirely necessary, but she wanted to be sure that there was no way her father would ever make decisions for her. She also filed the medical related items with both her doctor and a statewide database that would make the information accessible.

It was weird thinking about these things; being so young she couldn't really visualize her using them, but the stories she had heard from several people and the hardships they had endured because they had not clearly stated their wishes made her realize that she could not, not do it. Knowledge was definitely power and Andy understood now that knowledge without action only kept her up at night.

So she filed her story; once again, no earth-shattering investigative journalism, but she did the best she could and hoped that maybe it would help someone.

**Chapter Two**

Andy settled herself into the front seat of her sister's rental car and slumped tiredly against the door.

"Thank god! I thought I'd never get here!"

Amanda reached across the seat and squeezed her sister's hand. "It's good to see you baby girl." Amanda was eight years Andrea's senior. Andy had been born when her mother was thirty-two, a welcome surprise, but a surprise none-the-less. The Sachs' had planned on only one child but adjusted to the new addition in a number of creative ways, not the least of which was Andy accompanying her mother to her law office every day until she was weaned and out of diapers.

"It feels like it's been forever since we've seen you!" And it really nearly had been; almost a year.

"I know, I feel bad but just starting a new job means no vacation. I was lucky to get the 3 days off last Christmas since I told them when I started that I already had my plane ticket; this year no such luck. I get to work Christmas Eve, updating the website, until 8:00. And then it's on me to be on the desk watching the phones from 8:00 to 1:00 on Christmas Day." She let out a huge sigh; Amanda looked over to her and saw that her sister was smiling that closed mouth smile she had when she was satisfied with something.

"But actually sis, I don't really mind. I'm looking forward to being in the city, everything is so beautiful and I will be heading over to Lily's after work for dinner with her and Doug, so it's not like I'll be alone or anything."

"No Mass then little sister?" Amanda's tone was full of mirth.

"Uh that would be a big N-O dear! You know I haven't been to church in over ten years, why would I suddenly decide to go now?" Andy shifted so she could take in her sister as she maneuvered the all-wheel drive vehicle through the snow gathering on the freeway surface.

"Weeeellll, you know how dad can be…"

Andy scowled and cut her off abruptly. "Well dad can go f…" She pursed her lips. "…learn to let it go. Why he has such a hard time understanding that I see the world in a very different way than he, I just don't know."

She palmed her forehead and then waved the hand outwards. "I mean come on, that conversation is so old and tired it barely caused a rise out of both of us the last time he and Uncle Robert brought it up two years ago,"

Amanda shot a quick side glance over and then back to the road. "Need I remind you that you weren't going to hell then because you prefer girls?"

"Maybe coming home isn't such a good idea right now Mandy. Is it too late to turn around and head back to the airport?"

"'Fraid so baby girl. We just crossed the Ohio river and our exit's coming up."

Andy looked out into the darkness at the swirling white dancing in front of their headlights to the exit marker. She sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. "Tell me again why I thought this was such a good idea?"

Amanda chuckled. "Hang in there. It really won't be that bad." The elder Sachs sibling scowled at the road they now found themselves on, up into the hills on the eastern side of the Cincinnati area. It was one of the wealthier suburbs but even their snow removal efforts couldn't keep up with the building snowstorm. "Just keep sight of who you are. I'm really proud of you in case you didn't know it. You've come into yourself, mom sees that and while it may take him awhile, dad will eventually too."

"I hope you're right. I just hope that in the short term it won't be too unpleasant because it's not like any of us will be able to make it out of the driveway tonight or tomorrow. This is supposed to keep up all night, right?"

"Yeah, you're lucky you made it in. Did I hear right that they were getting ready to close the airport?"

Andy nodded absently as her childhood neighborhood slowly came into view. Something seemed off and she absently replied, "My flight was the last one in." It dawned on her a moment later, "Uh Mandy? Have you noticed there's no power?"

"Shit."

"Yeah. Shit. This just gets better and better."

But much to both sisters surprise their parents' home had light, one on the porch and in one of the windows. As Amanda switched off the car the front door opened and two men ventured towards them.

"Hey dad!" Andy waved as she struggled to get the back tailgate up.

Her dad gave her a quick hug and then took over. "Here, let Michael and I get those. You and Amanda go on in and get warm."

She gave her brother in law a hug as he passed; as Andy and her sister tried not to slide on the newly shoveled sidewalk they became aware of the sound of a motor coming from the back of the house. Amanda shrugged, "Wonder when he got that?"

The next moment found Andy standing in the welcoming warmth of the entryway; purse and laptop still slung over her shoulder, as her mom, Louise Brownly-Sachs, pulled her into a long, firm hug and two children aged seven and ten circled around them jumping up and down. "I'm so glad you're here. We were worried with this weather that you wouldn't be able to land, and then the roads…"

Amanda butted in, "Mom! It wasn't that bad, it was only the last couple of miles that were a little tense."

"Well tell that to Michael. Your husband just about wore a hole in our entertainment room carpet!" The three women laughed as said husband made a snow covered appearance along with Andy's father. There was only one suitcase and her dad trundled past the group and took it up to her old bedroom.

Andy looked sheepishly at her mom. "How's he doing?"

Her mom, shorter by about four inches looked up at her daughter and waggled her hand. "Eh, he has his moments, but don't worry, just be yourself sweetie. It'll be alright. We love you, you know."

"I know mom, I love you too."

l l l l l l l

The next day was Thanksgiving and Andy's parents' house was center stage. The snow had stopped in the early hours of the day and dinner was late enough to allow for the road crews to get caught up. Thankfully Richard Sachs had invested in a whole house generator after one too many power failures so not only was all of the food saved but dinner was served on time. It wasn't a huge gathering, just her mom's sisters, her dad's brother and their families which ended up with about twenty-six adults, teens and Amanda and Michael's kids seated around the table. Conversation was pleasant and focused upon family gossip, football (deconstruction of yet another dismal Cincinnati Bengals season and a thorough pillorying of their stubborn owner Mike Brown) and Andy's and Amanda's lives.

Since the sisters were the eldest of the cousins and thus the first to leave the nest everyone wanted to know what it was like to live in the big cities of either coast. Amanda and Michael had moved to Seattle only three months before so they were first on the inquisition list. Humorous stories were told and before Andy knew it she was in the kitchen helping her cousin Bethany, her dad's brother's only child, a senior in high school and Andy's favorite cousin, scrape plates and load dishes into the dishwasher.

"Andy?" Bethany asked timidly and instantly Andy tensed. She looked at the seventeen year old who shared her long dark hair and height trying to guess at the sudden mood shift.

"Uhm, can I ask you a question?" At Andy's nod the younger girl continued. "Well, I heard my dad and your dad talking last week and well, isittrueyou'rereallygay?"

Andy felt her heart rate pick up immediately and the room suddenly seemed warmer. Huh. Others knew, that would explain her uncle's weird behavior. However, she contemplated, no one else treated her any differently, so either not everyone knew or they didn't care. Could she be so lucky? She glanced at the nervous teen who had practically scraped the glaze off of the china plate she was holding.

"Hey, relax. It's okay to ask." Both girls heard heavy footsteps approaching the kitchen and as their owner crossed the threshold Bethany seemed to grow even more nervous. Andy lowered her voice, "Are you alright?" Bethany only shook her head slightly and grabbed another plate as Andrea's uncle walked into the room.

"Bethany, your aunt is asking about your plans after graduation, why don't you go out there and chat with her. I'll help in here." Bethany nodded timidly, shooting one last glance at her cousin.

Andy was on alert now, the tone in her uncle's voice wasn't quite right. Robert Sachs was of the same height and build as her father only with more of a receding hairline and just a bit more weight. He was a lay deacon at Immaculate Heart of Mary church and was considerably stricter than her own father had been. She continued the clearing of plates and remained silent, waiting for her uncle to show his hand.

"Andy, your father and I discussed something that really distresses me. He said that you told them that you were now claiming to be homosexual and that they needed to accept it." He puffed up into what she recalled was his most authoritative stance, the one he would use when they were kids and the baseball went through the living room window or the hose was somehow turned on next to one of the basement window wells; _he was trying to intimidate her!_ She continued to listen in silence maintaining an inscrutable look upon her face.

"I think you need to understand that your family does not have to accept anything, that it is you that needs to accept that the lifestyle you are choosing to lead is anything, but acceptable, and that you are at risk of putting a black mark on your soul, not to mention your own family's name, if you continue with this."

Andy was absolutely floored; so much so that she was left completely unprepared for his next words. "If you choose to continue with this damning behavior I'm going to have to ask you to stay away from my daughter. She is a decent young woman who is very impressionable and I won't have her being influenced by anyone like yourself or who thinks your kind of behavior is normal."

Finally Andy's brain engaged and her outrage right along with it. But instead of the outburst of a child that perhaps her uncle was expecting, Andy channeled the demeanor of the master and pinned him with an unwavering gaze. "Uncle Robert." Then she amended because at moment she did not feel one tender familial twinge towards the man. "Robert; I am only going to say this once. While you are entitled to your opinion I respectfully request that in the future you keep it to yourself. You have no right to question my life and I will be more than satisfied to forever steer clear of yours. But you have no right to dictate with whom I will associate; your daughter is an intelligent girl, she can decide for herself what she wants to do and who she wants to have 'influence' her."

Andy straightened even more if it was possible, stepped in just a bit closer and lowered her voice so he nearly had to strain to hear her and continued firmly. "But know this, no one _influenced_ me to be gay, I've always been gay, I just didn't understand it until recently. So, just like no one was able to force me to be gay, nothing anyone will say or do will suddenly make me 'un-gay'. Get it? So, respectfully? Butt out." Andy maintained her equanimity and they stared at one another until a throat was heard clearing itself in the doorway; from the corner of her eye she could see it was her mother.

Louise stood there with several half empty serving bowls in her hands and asked mildly. "Am I interrupting something here?"

Andy stood her ground and her uncle finally relented but not without an attempt at the last word. "Remember what I told you, I expect you to do it."

"And remember what I told you Robert." She said to his back. "I will not be dictated to."

Once he left the room Andy slumped back against the counter while her mother unloaded her burden. "How much did you hear mom?" Andy's voice sounded very tired and a lot older than her nearly twenty-eight years.

Louise had arrived long before she had announced herself and had witnessed not only her brother-in-laws pompous directives, but Andy's response. "Enough to know that, despite your quite eloquent defense, you are probably pretty upset right now." She turned to look at her baby and could see that in spite of her mastery of the conversation, she was greatly affected by it.

"Come here sweetheart." Andy promptly threw herself into her arms and held on for several minutes; reveling in the mom hug.

"Mom, you don't know how good this feels."

"What do you mean sweetie?"

"It means more than you'll ever know that I know you're here for me. Thank you so much for not judging me." Andy pulled back from her mother's arms and leaned back against the counter, feeling much stronger since the hug.

"It's not for us as humans to judge Andy, unless, of course, in a court of law." They both chuckled at that. "Seriously, I love you with all my heart and nothing will ever change that. Your father loves you too and that won't change. Although he may be more difficult in the short run, after all, he does have his older brother as a strong influence in his life.

"How do you stand it mom? They're both so rigid."

"Sometimes it's a real challenge honey, but I love your dad and thankfully I don't have to see Robert all that frequently. Richard knows how I feel about him and doesn't push it. I can't tell you how many times I've had conversations like the one you just had with that man, which, by the way, you handled yourself very well with him. I'm very proud of you."

Andy beamed. "Thanks mom, coming from you that's a true compliment."

"Where did you learn that look though? You had him completely skewered."

Andy chortled, "I borrowed that from Miranda." At her mother's quizzical look she amended, "Miranda Priestly, my former boss."

"Ah, the 'Dragon Lady'."

"Yes mom, the 'Bitch in Heels', 'Ice Queen' or just simply 'The Queen.' Although, I've been more inclined to say that 'Goddess of Fashion' is my favorite."

Louise watched her daughter as she became more animated with each hyperbolic label. _Interesting, what's that about? _She busied herself with pulling out some food storage containers.

"Well I'm glad to see you picked up at least one useful thing from your internment at that place."

Andy didn't disappoint her. "Mother, you know I learned far more at Runway. It was perhaps one of the most important experiences of my life. It taught me many things; things I didn't know about myself. I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Her mom looked up at her sharply but Andy was looking too far into herself to notice. Louise knew that when her daughter had that look in her eye, that she could sometimes slip questions in that Andy would answer without thought. She gentled her voice from its normal speaking tone and asked, "So Miranda is more than just a selfish, arrogant bitch that thought of no one, but herself?"

Andy's voice was equally as soft. "Yeah mom, she really is. She is a woman at the top of her game, maintaining her position, in a world dominated by men who want to take it away. She has to be driven. She has to be selfish at times. But she also cares deeply for her daughters. She would do anything for them and hence would have her assistants bring the world to them. I know it seems weird from the way that you all raised me, but it doesn't make it count less either."

"Andy. You really sound as though you've had a change of heart about her."

"Not really mom. I always respected her, even when I was crying about how she treated me so badly. It's just since leaving I've realized…" Andy paused for a moment, she had almost revealed more than she had wanted to her mother; she knew she probably could, but she just wasn't ready to go there. "I've realized that I keep using all of these different 'things' I learned just from observing how she conducted herself. Like with Uncle Robert just now, Miranda takes shit from no one and one of the ways she accomplishes that is by not letting anyone see that they rattle her."

"But how did you know that she really just didn't care?"

"I just knew mom, I could tell. She would get this really minor twitch in her eye and then her lips would purse ever so slightly. That was if she was trying to appear unaffected. If she didn't care that the other party knew she was displeased, she was far more vocal about it, trust me." Andy laughed here.

"Andy, you seem like you spent a considerable amount of time in study of your boss." Louise was careful with her words. Her daughter talked like the sun rose and set on the very same woman who she ranted and raved about in countless phone conversations only a year before. Louise couldn't quite identify why that troubled her now.

"Of course I did mother. My very survival depended upon knowing the signs." Andy had realized that she had said probably more than she should have on the subject.

Louise saw the shift in her daughter and knew this topic was now closed. "Well, that's all water under the bridge now. You are out from under her grasp" She noted the slight flinch at her word choice but ignored it. "… and have a great career ahead of you. That piece that was in this morning's Mirror, on power of attorney, was really well researched and well done."

"Thanks mom! It's not much of a step up, but it beats the obits."

After they were finished in the kitchen Andy emerged to see that Bethany and her father had left. She hoped that there wasn't an unpleasant scene for the girl, but knowing her uncle poor Beth probably had to endure a long lecture on the evils of "the homosexual" and the necessity of steering well clear of them. Her intuition told her that Bethany really wanted to talk but she wasn't going to be the one to make first contact; no need to create even more of a problem for the girl. If she wanted to talk then the teen would find a way to do it.

So it was with a small amount of surprise when Andy heard the chime of an incoming text just as she was getting ready for bed and that it was a request to meet for lunch the following day. Andy was supposed to go to the art museum with her sister and Michael while the kids had grandma and grandpa time, but she figured she could work it in earlier. She suggested a time and place and barely a minute had passed when an ecstatic "YES!" was sent back. Andrea slipped into sleep happy she had done the right thing.

l l l l l l l

Skyline Chili was the only place to eat Cincinnati chili as far as Andy was concerned and that's where she and Bethany ended up.

Andy smiled at the waitress. "I'll have a 3-way, extra juicy."

Bethany chuckled, then asked for a 4-way with beans and extra cheese. The two sat in silence for a moment, popping oyster crackers with hot sauce dripped on them into their mouths. Both conscious that the food would be up in only a few minutes, they talked about how Bethany's senior year was going.

Soon a steaming plate of spaghetti noodles layered next with an aromatic ground beef-tomato based sauce and topped with a heaping layer of finely shredded cheddar cheese was placed in front of her. Andy's mouth watered as she liberally poured hot sauce over the entire thing and then dug in with a tremendous smile. "I don't miss a whole lot about Cincinnati food, but this, this taste you can't get anywhere else."

After they were about half way through the meal Andy realized that Bethany wasn't going to be the one initiate the conversation. "So, you wanted to ask me something, right?"

Bethany looked down at her food and wouldn't make eye-contact. "Yeah, my dad was a real ass towards you yesterday, wasn't he?"

"That's one way to put it. Let's just say he doesn't approve of the way I "choose" to live my life."

"So it's true, you're gay?"

Andy put her fork down and said, "Hey, it's okay. Look at me." She waited for the teen to look her in the eye and she held it. "Yes. I am." She let that sink in for a moment and then decided to just be direct, although her voice was kind. "Aside from your father's obvious issues, is that going to be a problem you think?"

Bethany's large gray-green eyes got bigger if that was actually possible. "No!"

Andy laughed and picked her fork back up, waiting to see if her cousin would say anything else. She watched as the teen fiddled with her straw and pushed the lemon seeds in the bottom of her iced tea around. "Sooo, did your father say anything to you last night?"

Bethany hesitated, her dad had been very clear and very disparaging of her favorite cousin and she didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Beth, look, I can imagine he said some fairly nasty things about me. Harsh and judgmental – also told you to stay away from me." She watched as the girl looked at her in surprise. "Am I right?"

Bethany nodded. "How did you know?"

Andy laughed without mirth. "Two reasons. One was based on the words he had for me last night where he told me to stay away from you and two because your father fits a certain personality type; controlling, ego-centric and convinced that his god is on his side. When human beings, usually men, have all of that 'going' for them, well they are very predictable in their behavior. Plus we've talked about his restrictions in the past, you've told me of the arguments you've had over your friends, curfews, church attendance and even what is acceptable for you to study in college."

"I wish my mom was here." Bethany had tears in her eyes, but they didn't fall. It had been five years since her mother died of ovarian cancer and she had adapted, but sometimes she missed her so desperately she didn't have words.

"I know baby girl, I know you do."

"I know if she were still alive he wouldn't be so bad."

"Bethany…" She hesitated, not certain how to phrase the question. "He doesn't ever physically hurt you, does he?"

The younger girl shook her head. "No Andy, I would have told someone if that were the case, honestly. No, he just yells and picks at everything I do and nothing is ever good enough, but he hasn't ever raised a hand to me."

"I'm glad. You do realize though that what you've described to me is still abuse; that it's his thing, not a reflection of who you truly are, right?" Andy really wasn't sure how to navigate the conversation; she wanted to somehow counteract all of the negatives the girl received from the most important person in her life. "You know you can call me at any time, day or night, if you need something or just want to talk. I think you are amazingly smart, beautiful and gifted in many ways. I know that whatever you do in life that you will be able to do it. I feel it in here." Andy tapped her chest over her heart. "If I ever have a daughter, and just because I'm gay doesn't mean I won't." She smiled softly. "I would really hope that daughter would turn out to be just like you."

The tears that Bethany had been holding back finally dropped and it took several minutes and many more of the membrane-thin napkins, before she was able to continue with the conversation. Andy looked around, glad that it was the day after a major eating holiday and the place was fairly empty; plus they were in a back corner booth.

They ate in silence for several minutes and then Bethany blurted out. "How did you know?"

Andy just stared at her for a moment at the non-sequitur, searching through the conversational threads. "How did I know I was gay?"

"Yeah, I mean you dated guys. You lived with Nate. You don't hate guys do you?" The girl was blushing now.

Andy laughed again. "Hate guys? Why does everyone assume I don't like men just because I'm attracted to women?" She shook her head and after pushing her empty plate away, continued.

"No, I don't hate men. It's just that I've realized that being with a woman speaks to a part of me that no man ever has. It's just different, and I'm not just talking about sex." Bethany's blush was even more pronounced now than it was when the conversation began.

"As for when I knew? It was a gradual kind of thing. I had sex with two guys before Nate and then I was with Nate for about four years." _And we'll just not mention that momentary lapse in Paris. _ "During that entire time I enjoyed myself and it was cool, but I don't know, it just always felt like I was missing something. I seemed to have an affinity towards some women but I never thought of it as anything. There was a professor of mine in college that, now that I think back on it, I had a major crush on." Her gaze turned inward for a moment. _Dr. Kate Janeson, haven't thought about her in years._

"She was gorgeous with slightly graying copper hair, a great body and an air of elegance and grace that totally captivated me. I'd sit in her class and just admire her as she lectured. I found myself doing extra studying and taking extra care with the essays. I really wanted her approval. At the time I didn't know why it was so important that she notice me, but now it all makes sense." She paused for a sip of water and checked that she wasn't boring her lunch companion; finding a rapt audience she continued.

"And then I started working at Runway and I met someone who blew everyone else out of the water. The moment I met her, even though she was in no way nice to me and was actually one of the biggest bitches I'd ever met, everything changed. It took months until I finally connected all the dots, it was just before Nate ended things and left for Boston, he actually had a hand in helping me figure it out. He didn't realize it, but it was something he said, and once he said it, it was as though a light bulb went off. This person's opinion meant more to me than just a work association should. More than what a friend even would. It meant the world to me and I realized that I had been trying for months to gain her attention and favor because I really just wanted her to like me."

At this Andy grew quiet and her cousin could see that there was a sadness about her. When her favorite cousin still hadn't said anything after several minutes the teen couldn't stay silent. She cleared her throat. "What happened? Did you ask her out?"

Bethany received an indignant snort. "Ask her out? Oh, no. She was waaaay out of my league. No. Oh no. I took the coward's way out; I quit my job."

Bethany was confused. "Why would you quit your job? It was someone you worked with right? Couldn't you have just avoided them? I mean really the only person…" Her voice trailed off when she realized just who Andy had worked for and it all made sense. "OH MY GOD!" The teen practically squealed. "Andy, your boss? The Fashion Goddess herself? Did you fall for Miranda Priestly?" Unlike her older cousin, Bethany was well aware of the world of fashion, and therefore its reigning queen.

Andy's head shot up and she looked desperately at the tables around them. As no one had moved into their immediate space, her relief was palpable. "Will you please keep it down? Jesus Beth, I don't want the entire world to know my business, especially since no one else knows this. You have to promise me that you will not breathe a word of this to anyone. Anyone, do you understand?"

The teen's head was bobbing up and down so fast Andy thought it might topple off and roll onto the table. "I'm serious kiddo, if this were to make it to certain circles, and you would be surprised at the people interested in anything involving the editor of that magazine, even in the back waters of Ohio, all hell could literally break loose. Please, please, please give me your word that you will mention this conversation to no one. Not even your BFFs. With the press always looking for a hook into her, you just never know."

"Andy, I promise. No one. Wow! No one knows, but me? Cool! Really, I won't ever say anything at all about this." She crossed her heart and looked so sincere that Andy actually had hope that she would keep that promise.

With a startling bit of insight for one so young, Bethany realized that there was more to the story. "So, you still think about her don't you; you miss her?"

Andy gave a short nod. "Bethany you have no idea. But sometimes in life we just have to learn to accept that we really can't always get what we want, no matter how badly. And…" She held up her hand before the mini inquisitor could continue. "that is all." _Great word choice there Andy._ "That is all I want to say about it right now, alright? C'mon, let's get going, if we're going to meet up with Amanda and Michael at the museum we need to get out of here."

l l l l l l l

Andy was packing her suitcase that night after having laid out her outfit for the following day. Her flight left early the next morning and her father would be driving her to the airport. Too bad that her mother had to take a deposition from a client first thing and her sister and Michael were having breakfast with Michael's family. She contemplated taking a cab but knew she'd never get away with it. Her father had been almost his usual self the entire visit, but still she sensed as if he wanted to say something to her on more than one occasion, especially after her "discussion" with her uncle. Realizing she was worrying about something she could not change, she set about a meditation she had recently been practicing that would allow her to release some of the fear and trepidation. After about twenty minutes she was in a much better state of mind and able to settle into her old bed and, shortly thereafter, sleep.

"_Andrea, Andrea, please." Her name caressed and elongated as only the fashion goddess could, Andy watched as Miranda lay back on the lounger that looked to be in the study of her townhouse. The signature white hair was slightly disheveled and the tie of **the** white Valentino blouse was loosened, granting an even greater expanse of smooth, ivory skin for her pleasure. Blue eyes pinned her where she stood in the middle of the room, challenging her to make her move as the silken voice continued to plead. But Andy remained rooted in her inaction, even as Miranda's hands, hands that normally wielded a pen as if it were a sword, deliberately caressed the arcs and valleys barely hidden from view. Andy's eyes burned as she watched those lovely hands stop momentarily at the button of the black Bill Blass pants before slowly disengaging it from its loop. Next, the zipper, oh so slowly, was eased down. Andy could feel her tongue as it licked her lips, could feel her teeth as they trapped her bottom lip, yet she continued to be frozen in place, unable to move. She was practically crying in frustration, the older woman was calling for her, summoning her to her task. A task she would be all too happy to fulfill if she could only somehow overcome this overwhelming gravity that weighted her, making movement impossible. She stared as the older woman slid further down the lounger and then pulled herself back, the friction causing the fabric of those pants, those wonderful pants that hugged her ass so deliciously, to remain behind, exposing to Andy's hungry sight a strip of silk so delicate and sheer that it left absolutely nothing to her imagination. When those hands slid beneath the barely there barrier and began a rhythm made even more fluid by the obvious arousal of the beautiful editor Andy could feel her own body clench; aching to suck those soaked fingers into her mouth; aching for her own fingers to enter and push and feel the silky walls spasm around her over and over until the other woman begged her to stop. _

The beeping of her cell phone's alarm tones nearly caused Andy to weep as she surfaced into the gray dawn. She lay there panting, grasping at the images that were slowly fading back into their nocturnal hiding place. Aware of the inconvenient evidence of the dream she rolled out of bed and into the bathroom that separated her room from that of her sister's. Fortunately no one else was yet awake so she had the time to center herself back into her reality. A quick shower that tended towards the cold had her moving faster than perhaps she had wanted but it did manage to successfully push the image of a semi-dressed, highly turned on fashion editor begging for "her Andrea's" touch back where it belonged.

Within a half hour of waking, Andy was dressed, make up applied, packing finished and she was ready to head down for coffee. She was looking forward to returning to her life. She did enjoy visiting with her family, but as the years passed she realized how the apartment she was subleasing on the Upper West Side of New York felt more like her home than did this one. Here she was now a visitor, with special privileges perhaps, but a visitor none the less. All that stood between her now and the three and a half hour plane ride back to her real life was a middle-aged man struggling to understand the independent young woman who happened to be his daughter.

l l l l l l l

Whereas the trek to her parents' house only three scant nights before was shrouded with billowing snow and enveloping darkness, this morning was resplendent in dazzling sunlight reflected off of a blanket of drifted, but now melting, snow. They were just crossing over the Ohio River into Kentucky and Andy was idly watching the progression of a tug pushing eight barges heavily weighted with coal as it churned the waters moving downstream.

The car ride to that point had been mostly silent with the occasional comment about the landscape around them so she didn't realize at first that her father had spoken and had to tear her eyes away from her nearly hypnotic observation of the waves undulating outwards from the tug's wake.

"I'm sorry dad, what did you say?" She turned towards her father as the sound of the road returned to normal after crossing the large span.

"I was wondering if you perhaps had talked to Nate at all." Her father kept his eyes forward and she could tell that his grip on the steering wheel was a bit firmer than perhaps necessary.

"Why would I have talked to Nate? You know I haven't seen or spoken to him since he left for Boston." Andy suppressed a sigh, she had hoped…

"Well, I had hoped that maybe something had changed since we last spoke. What about anyone else? What about that guy you mentioned from work, that sports editor?"

"Dad…" This time she didn't hold back the sigh and she could see his hands tighten even more on the wheel. "Look, dad." She ran a hand through her long hair and tried to figure out the best way to say it. No help for it apparently, she was going to have to be blunt. "As I told you a while ago, I've figured out what's been missing in my life and that it's a woman who will eventually be the key to finding happiness. That's not going to change and I'm not going to apologize to you for it."

"Andy I just don't believe that. This isn't you. This is just a phase you're going through, you're in that city with all those freaks, I mean _**people…**_" He corrected himself at the last moment, but put the emphasis on the word so that there was no mistaking his opinion. "…who have put this nonsense into your head. You just don't see how you've been manipulated and lead astray. You really need to get away from there."

Realizing he needed to calm himself if he was to get her to listen, Richard switched to a more placating tone. "I've talked to a friend who knows the editor of the Cincinnati Enquirer. He's willing to give you an interview. They have a spot open in their "Local" section. All you have to do is show up and you probably have the job." He turned a proud smile towards her. "He was very impressed with your resume, you know."

That did it, all hope of maintaining her equanimity vaporized. "DAD! Jesus Christ! Are you serious? What part of 'I'm happy with my life' have you _**not**_ been understanding?"

"Andy, don't take the Lord's name in vain!" His voice rose with the roll of her eyes. "Try to see reason here. I'm trying to help you. You've lost your way and as your father it's my duty to ensure you find the way back. Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?"

"Me stubborn? Please! I'm just trying to live the best life I can live and I will do so with or without your support. I'd much rather have your support than not, but you need to let this go and trust that I know myself and that I'm being true to me." She punctuated her words by punching the fingers of her right hand into the palm of her left hand. "No one has led me down this path. This is my own self being MY self. It's right for me. I can feel it in my bones. That's all I can say."

The car was silent for a couple of miles. Andy watched as the Cincinnati skyline became visible on the northern horizon, over the distance of the Licking River Valley. She had crossed her arms protectively around her midsection, gathering her thoughts. When she spoke it was in a softer tone, "Please dad, I need you to just let me be. Do what you feel you need to do to adjust to this, but I respectfully ask that you no longer arrange interviews or suggest locales for my relocation. I would also appreciate if you refrained from the need to explain to me how messed up you think I am. New York is my home now and I am really happy to be there." She uncrossed her arms and tried to relax her limbs, noting with a glance out the window that the airport exit was fast approaching; she decided that no more need be said.

Richard had come to the same conclusion, so the rest of the ride was made in silence and as they pulled into the airport area Andy requested that he drop her at the terminal instead of parking and coming in. Richard eased over to the curbside check-in area and after pulling her suitcase from the trunk and, soon after giving her a short hug, Andy was watching as her father merged with the other traffic winding its way back towards the airport exit.

After checking her bag, she shrugged her laptop and purse higher onto her shoulder and went in search of a Starbucks. She suddenly felt the need for a venti-no-foam-extra-hot latte and perhaps a couple of Motrin to stave off the sudden headache. As she sat sipping her drink and awaiting the boarding call, she fired off a text to her mother, inquiring whether or not she had any idea that her father was going to pull the stunt he had. Her mother expressed surprise and apologized. The last text before she had to shut her phone off was her mother's reminder that she loved her just the way she was. If anyone noticed that the beautiful young woman boarding the plane was wiping at tears as she found her seat and stowed her bags they did not call attention to it.

**Chapter Three**

The Sunday morning after Thanksgiving found the Priestly household gathered in the kitchen. Outside it was overcast, so much so that the burgeoning daylight barely penetrated the windows lining the back walls. Miranda had opted to use only the spot canister lighting and the light over the range so a warm glow suffused the space. The smell of coffee and sautéed vegetables contributed to the cozy scene of domesticity, but it was the woman standing at the stove, with the rapt attention of two twelve year old girls focused on her every move, that was at the core of the scene.

"Okay girls, watch my wrist as I carefully move the sauté pan. Once the eggs have been placed in the pan it is essential that you swirl them just so; otherwise they'll end up in a lumpy pile and you will have scrambled eggs." Both girls giggled at that but they kept their eyes focused as their mother gently folded a perfectly formed omelet onto the plate.

"Who wants to go first?" Miranda smiled as both of her daughters hastened forward to be the first to try, but Cassidy, who was fully recovered from her bout with the stomach flu, managed to get there first. Gently Miranda's hands guided the smaller ones of her second-born child.

"That's it Bobbsey, keep the pan moving and take the spatula now." As the girl managed to slide a reasonably shaped egg mass onto her plate Miranda smiled in delight. "Beautiful job! Go ahead and place your fillings and enjoy. Caroline?"

The process was repeated and Caroline's efforts were rewarded just as her sister's before her. By the time the girls were trotting upstairs an hour had passed. Miranda remained behind, sipping her coffee at the back table next to the windows facing the shared green space of their "backyard". Moments like this with her daughters, while not as frequent as she'd like, still occurred more regularly than ever before. Since Stephen left she had been much more intentional about making sure her daughters had access to her. She was home for dinner at least three nights a week, had reduced her Saturday work schedule by half and kept her Sundays completely clear. At least that had been the way of things for the past year, but since she was installed as the interim director of the Elias-Clarke board of directors, the time with her girls suffered greatly.

Indeed it was all she could do to arrange this day with Caroline and Cassidy, but she decided that it didn't matter how many extra hours it meant in the next few days; she was going to keep her word to accompany them to the Guggenheim for a fairly new exhibit they both were interested in seeing. They then had reservations to dine at a new bistro, where it was rumored that the girls' favorite pop idol of the month was known to frequent. The older woman grimaced; hopefully the food would at least be passable. But today was about her daughters, she would try to at least look like she was having a good time.

Miranda acknowledged that it was getting increasingly more difficult for her to maintain the façade of happiness in her life. The journaling that she had started so long ago when her girls were in her womb had slowed down considerably in the interim years, it was only in the past two that she felt compelled to express herself in such a manner. _No need to dig too deeply to find the catalyst for that one now, do we, Miranda dear? _ Her inner voice chose that moment to tweak her mental ruminations, a voice that had grown increasingly loud and sarcastic; harking back to the considerably less civilized days of her youth and young adulthood. Goddamn, but it irritated her to no end that no matter how long she lived in this country, her inner voice still maintained some of the flavor of East London.

The accomplished editor turned her attention back to her growing ennui. She was considering her options; there were so many paths spread out before her, it was just a matter of choosing the one that most pulled to her. She had started sketching more frequently as images of textures and colors and materials had begun to coalesce into forms begging to be captured. That the visions so long lost had chosen to return at this point in her life was not something she was contemplating too closely, rather she was accepting of their presence and glad of their company. Never mind that there was a certain form around which many of the designs would drape, sensually caressing a generously curved body and well-formed legs that seemed to continue for days.

An image of her dream the night before surfaced. Those endless legs encased in Chanel leather boots. In the dream the boots ended only a few inches below a pair of black leather button-up boy shorts.

_Her former assistant had strolled confidently into her office without neither a care in the world nor a word of any sort, peeling away a barely there billowing black blouse that had concealed little; letting it slide to the floor. The ends of raven tresses barely brushed at the hardening peaks of firm breasts as the young woman stalked towards the editor, deep red lips moist and lightly parted. She had stood when the interruption had burst into her office, but once the stalking panther had reached her destination she placed a palm at the center of the editor's chest, lightly shoved her back into her chair and then proceeded to seat herself on the curiously empty desk before her. The two women held eye contact for only a moment when the younger grabbed the elder's hands and slid them up the leather to the heated skin of her inner thighs. Wordlessly instructing those hands to remain in place with a gentle squeeze the younger woman began to work the buttons that kept the leather short in place. Agonizingly slowly the buttons separated until the material lay slack and ready to be discarded as the seductress arched her back creating an ivory arc of taut muscle and mouthwatering beauty. Sometime during the display the editor had managed to move her chair forward to such a degree that she could see the glistening folds and smell the delightfully delicate scent of the other woman's arousal. Her hands pulled at the leather providing the final barrier and she kissed the inside of the soft thigh, lightly licking the soft, silky skin as she pushed the material completely free._

"Mom! Mom! Hey! We're ready!" Twin voices catapulted her back into the present with a nearly heart-stopping jolt. She noted that her hands were shaking slightly as she set down her now empty cup. When she rose to place it in the sink, she had to pause to give her legs a moment to regain their strength. With much displeasure she realized that she would need to stop in the bathroom before she could leave the house.

Once again she admonished herself, _I am truly going insane_.

l l l l l l l

It was the morning of Nigel's party and Andy found herself at her desk at the Mirror finishing up an article comparing the merits and drawbacks of the American Ginkgo tree versus the Bradford Pear when used in city plantings. She failed to understand why a topic such as that would be relevant as the winter solstice was fast approaching but apparently tree planting could be undertaken as long as the ground wasn't frozen solid. To say she was struggling would be an understatement.

The city transit security piece had run the week prior and while she had gotten really good feedback from both her colleagues and her boss, she was still getting assignments such as this that reflected her junior status. She knew she could do so much more and was really getting frustrated, even while she understood the necessity of having to start somewhere.

After rearranging the paper clips and then the pens in her desk organizer she sat back and looked over what she had written. "Shit, it's even boring me." _Not good Andy._ On a whim she decided to see what would happen if she wrote the piece from a humorous point of view. After thirty minutes of solid typing and several chuckles that had a few of her co-workers eyeing her questionably, she had something that at least was entertaining. She crossed her fingers and shot it over to her boss. Looking at the time, she decided to mentally review her closet and begin planning her attire for that evening's soiree at Nigel's.

She had just decided upon a skirt when she heard her boss' voice. "Sachs! Get in here!"

"Eeep. So much for getting out of here early." She muttered to herself.

"Yeah, Greg?" She stood in front of his desk and willed herself not to fidget.

He stared at her for a minute and then asked "What's this?"

_Hmmm, play dumb?_ "It's the piece on the gingko and pear trees." _Okay, dumb it is._

He shook his head, obviously aggravated. "I can read Andy. What I want to know is whether or not it's some kind of joke."

Andy impressed herself with not even a flinch at either his tone or challenge. Long ago she had realized that there was only one person in the world scarier than the boogieman and she had already worked for her. "No sir, not a joke at all." Well it had started as a joke, but he didn't need to know that. It actually had turned out to be quite nicely done. "I wanted to take a fresh approach to presenting subject matter that was actually pretty dry. I think I managed to keep a balance between delivery of well researched facts and a more lighthearted writing style." She forced herself to stop there and maintained eye contact with the man.

It felt like several minutes had passed and Andy's nose was really starting to itch, but she resisted the temptation to scratch. She could wait this man out.

Her patience was rewarded as he looked back at the screen and then back to her and gave her a nod. "Okay then. You heading out for the weekend?"

With a nonchalance that was hardly natural she nodded back and grinned. "Yeah, I'm hanging with the fashion crowd tonight, I've got hours of preparation ahead of me." They were both chuckling as she turned to take leave of his office. Just as she was crossing the threshold he called out.

"Oh and Andy? Good job." He shot her a brief smile and she couldn't help, but beam back at him. She practically skipped back to her desk where she gathered her things and headed for home.

l l l l l l l

Andy regarded her image in front of the mirror for several moments, unsure as to whether or not she wanted to wear her hair up or down. Dressed all in black she had started with a La Perla camisole over which she had thrown one of her second hand store purchases, a Chanel jacket tailored in a tuxedo fashion. A short leather mini, black stockings and the thigh-high Chanel boots, one of the few items she had kept from her Runway days, completed the look. Doug was to be her escort to the party and he had convinced her to go out clubbing afterwards. Coming up with an outfit appropriate for both settings hadn't been easy as she didn't want to look too over the top for the party. She opted to keep her hair loose, but brought along several ties and pins in case she ended up on the dance floor for longer than a minute.

The chime of an incoming text alerted her that Doug was outside and she gathered up a small clutch and locked her door. Once she hit the street she was glad that it was one of those temperate late autumn days and she wouldn't have to keep track of a coat later. They strolled leisurely, catching up on each other's lives, to the Cathedral Parkway subway station emerging some 20 minutes later in Chelsea.

As they approached the last block that would take them to Nigel's, Doug asked the question that had been on his mind. "So, do you think _**she'll**_ be here tonight?" Andy had never said anything to him, but Doug had his suspicions about exactly why she had left in Paris and why, to this day, every time _**her**_ name, or even just an allusion to her name, came up it so disturbed his very dear friend.

He was not disappointed as he had taken five steps before realizing she was no longer next to him. He looked back at his friend standing stock still as if frozen. The street light only accentuated the sensual beauty tonight's outfit inspired. _Man if I wasn't gay…_ "Andy?"

"Jesus, Doug! Don't do that!" She started forward and when she was by his side she looked up at him. He could see she appeared a bit paler than when they had left the station.

"Andy, come on, you know there's a good chance she'll make an appearance tonight. Don't tell me you hadn't considered the possibility?"

And Andy hadn't really, well maybe she had, but she hadn't. Every time even the beginnings of an anxious thought about running into her former boss attempted to surface, she distracted herself until it was forgotten. It was the only way she knew she'd be able to actually attend the party and she wasn't about to dive out because she was scared spitless.

"You know she can't hurt you, right?" Doug attempted to soothe his distraught friend, but in her discombobulated state she managed to completely startle him.

"Hurt me? Oh Doug, I'm more worried about me doing something really, really stupid like..." She abruptly clamped her lips together, mortified by her near slip; but it was too late. The bait had been dangled and there was no way Doug was going to let it go.

"Ah, ah, my dear. You need to finish that sentence. Or perhaps you'll allow me?" In sight of the entrance to Nigel's building, they stepped to the side and leaned on the metal railing protecting pedestrians from stairs leading to a basement apartment. Doug was truly revving up for some serious fun, all the while hoping that his friend would finally confide what he long suspected.

Andy reached into her clutch with trembling fingers and fished a cigarette from a stale, half-smoked pack. Mind racing, she took her time lighting, inhaling and blowing out a stream of smoke, hoping that her next words would be believed. "Really Doug, you need to not be such a drama queen. I meant that I can just see myself standing there without a word in my head, shaking in my boots like my first day under her laser glare." She sighed dramatically and added a quiver to her voice, "I would be so embarrassed."

For a half second Douglas almost bought it, but then he spied it, that tiny tell unique to Andy, just a minute eye-shift that if one wasn't looking one would miss. He gave her a minute to congratulate herself on the success of her redirect and then went in for the kill.

"Ennnnnnhhh." Doug mimicked the sound of a buzzer that caused Andy to jump back and nearly topple over the railing. With his hand on her arm to steady her, he forged ahead. "My turn! Here's what I think you were going to say." He altered his voice to a falsetto worthy of any number of great actresses and steamed full speed ahead. "'Oh Doug, I'm more worried about me doing something really, really stupid, like backing her into a wall and kissing the living daylights outta her." He laughed as his friend gaped at him. "Or better yet, 'I'm worried about pushing her into an empty guest room, throwing her on the bed and fucking her within an inch of her life!'"

"Goddamn it, Douglas. This isn't funny!" Andy attempted to chin up to having one of her deepest fantasies revealed in so careless a manner.

Doug had the good sense to stop the teasing, he wasn't trying to hurt his friend, rather he just wanted her to be prepared and the best defense was to not approach the field of battle in denial. "You're right sweetie. It's not funny at all. I'm right though aren't I? I think you've been thinking about Miranda for a long time now." He paused for a moment realization settling in.

"Now that I think about it, every woman you've shown an interest in has had a certain look. Just a little shorter than you, but nearly your equal in build, short hair and they are always blonde, the lighter blonde the better." He gentled his tone. "Oh baby, you've got it bad don't you?"

For her part Andy was feeling suddenly very vulnerable; all pretense now forgotten. "Doug." Her voice was a near whisper and the cigarette dropped from suddenly nerveless fingers. "What am I going to do if she does show up? You're right. I can't get her out of my head. I dream about her. I thought it would go away after I quit, but it hasn't. She's always there, always in my thoughts; a woman nearly twice my age, with two pre-teen daughters and more money and power than I'll ever come close to having. There is absolutely no way she would ever look at me with anything other than disdain. I'm so pathetic and it just totally sucks."

Doug placed an arm around his friend and held her for a moment. "Look, don't sell yourself short here, alright? You, my girl, are beautiful, smart, warm, funny and a wonder to be around. Yeah, the chances of Miranda ever returning your affections are probably right up there with being struck by lightning or winning the Powerball, but for tonight, that doesn't matter."

He released her from the hug and held her at arm's length, looking her straight in the eyes. "What does your mother always tell you? 'Remember who you are'. So tonight, if La Priestly should happen to make her way into your presence, that is exactly what you are going to do. You have become a woman that anyone would be glad to have in their acquaintance, just be yourself. You have nothing to lose sweetie. Can you do that?"

Andy allowed his words to soothe her and she felt some of her confidence and natural optimism return. "Yeah, I think I can at least make a credible attempt. Thanks Doug." She gave him a quick hug. "You're the best!"

He grabbed her hand and moved them back onto the sidewalk, "Okay then let's go enjoy your friend's bar and whatever the night brings trust that you'll handle it."


	2. Chapters 4 thru 6

**It's the Only Life You've Got… Arc I  
>…so you better just live it<strong>

**Author: **raiderL  
><strong>Pairing: <strong>Miranda/Andrea  
><strong>Rating: <strong>M (or 18 or NC-17, take your pick)  
><strong>Summary:<strong> One year after leaving Runway Andy and Miranda meet up again and realize that there is an undeniable attraction between them. That they both know that the bond between them is more than merely physical doesn't mean there aren't roadblocks, namely Miranda's trust issues and her daughters' acceptance. **  
>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own the characters in created in either the book or the movie The Devil Wears Prada and I make no money off of this work of fan fiction. I am merely having fun, thinking "_What if?_" after the movie's end. Oh, there are a few characters in here that you may not recognize, they were created by me; please be kind and allow them to remain in their own little fantasy world.  
><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I have taken liberties with some of the supporting character histories, names and characterizations so that they serve my own purposes, some of them (like Miranda's ex-husband) are names used in other fan-fictions so I tip my hat to whoever may have used it first.**  
>Author's Note: <strong>_**Thank you to bearblue for her awesome beta work and encouragement!  
><strong>_**Archiving: **Only with permission of the author.

**Chapter Four**

They'd been at the party for about an hour. Doug was across the room deep in conversation with a photographer that Andy recognized from one of the Runway shoots and she was standing at the bar awaiting a refill of her vodka and soda. It was only her second drink, knowing that if Miranda should happen by that she would need all of her wits in sober order. She had just placed her order, when suddenly she sensed that **She** was somewhere in the room. Not wanting to be obvious about it, she waited until the drink was in hand and casually strolled towards the next room, all the while subtly scanning the landscape around her. Feeling rather warm she decided that the cozy corner nearest the partially opened French doors would be the best spot to scope out the rest of the party. She was just about to turn around when suddenly a scent she would never forget surrounded her; a sharp inhale preceded her turn and without any fanfare she found herself facing the object of her affections. Her exhale brought about one breathless word.

"Miranda."

l l l l l l l

"Mom, wow! Hey Cass, check out what mom's wearing to Uncle Nigel's party!" Cassidy skidded into the second floor entertainment room and gaped. Caroline continued excitedly, "Is that the Oscar de la Renta from the fall line?"

"Very good Bobbsey" she suppressed a smile at the look of consternation her daughter shot her at the endearment. "I take it you approve?"

Caroline looked critically for a moment. "I love the way the pants flow out at the bottom, almost like a full length skirt, is it satin?"

"Once again, very good my dear, yes, satin." A glimmer of pride shown through and Caroline preened like a little bird.

Cassidy, who did not share her sister's love for fashion in quite the same way, had yet to say anything and her mother turned towards her. "Darling?"

"I really like it all mom, that necklace is really cool too. Black suits you. But uh, well, won't you be cold?"

Miranda smiled, appreciating her ever practical daughter and picked up a textured black leather three-quarter length coat, which, until that point, had gone unnoticed by both girls. "Not with this I won't and you know that parties are always tending to the stuffy with all those people mingling around."

She adjusted the coat over her shoulders and picked up a small purse, also black leather, and kissed each of her daughters good night. "Thank you girls for being so understanding about my need to attend this party. Please be good for Cara, I'll see you in the morning and we'll make breakfast."

"Omelets?" Both girls chimed at once.

"We'll see darlings, good night."

She made her way down to the underground parking area shared by herself and several of the other townhouses in her block. She pressed the key fob for her midnight blue 1990 Porsche 964 Carrera Targa and the engine came alive with a purr (the only modern modification she had made to the mint condition vehicle). Sliding into the smooth leather seat Miranda felt a part of her settle. She knew that there was a distinct possibility that Andrea would be at the party tonight and the conflicting feelings had caused no small amount of stress. Being behind the wheel of this car always calmed her and she used that space to reinforce her mantle of control. She was Miranda Priestly and she was unflappable under all circumstances. By the time she handed her keys to the valet outside Nigel's condo she had almost completely convinced herself, save for the nerves still nipping on the periphery, as she gripped her host's gift a little tighter.

The party was in full swing by the time she made her arrival and it was at times difficult to navigate because of all of the bodies. That was until a being realized just who exactly was trying to pass and suddenly the way was made clear. After leaving her coat with an attendant in the entrance hall, she spied her host in the first room she entered and made her way over. After a brief air kiss, she handed him the bottle of 1972 black label Macallan scotch brightly festooned with a red ribbon.

Nigel's eyebrows nearly crawled off his forehead when he spied the offering. "Miranda, I would say you shouldn't have, but I would be a liar of the highest order. Thank you." And he offered her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Don't get used to it, _dear_." But she flashed him a rare genuine smile and they chatted for a moment about the party and his satisfaction with the catering and planning crew she had recommended. As another couple of party goers entered the room and approached Nigel, Miranda gave him a nod and began a search for the bar. After only a moment, she noted it was in what must have been the dining room and began to make her way toward it. Only a couple of people felt comfortable enough approaching her and it took nearly fifteen minutes to reach her destination. It was as she joined the line that she caught the first glimpse of that luscious dark hair cascading freely over the lines of what could only be a Chanel jacket. Someone shifted in line and blocked her view of the object of her study; she pursed her lips in consternation.

It was only a moment later that the offender shifted yet again and she watched as the young woman placed her order. She swore that she could see a sudden falter as Andrea received her glass, but the young woman moved away with a simple grace. As she walked, Miranda was stunned to take in the rest of the outfit, one that mimicked entirely too closely those of a certain dream. Her eyes lingered until a soft clearing of the bartender's throat made her realize that she had traversed the length of the line without conscious thought. She spared a brief hope that her lapse had gone unobserved.

"Whatever scotch you're pouring, a double with a splash of water." The bartender nodded and efficiently presented her with a glass. She was pleased that the water came from a bottle of spring water instead of the tap. Eschewing the offered napkin, she slowly sipped as she moved to follow her quarry, never questioning that she would indeed engage her erstwhile assistant.

Unbeknownst to Miranda, her actions did draw the attention of one very interested observer. Doug had sighted the signature hair as soon as she entered the room and he had excused himself from his conversation in order to warn Andy. However he stopped his progress and watched in rapt fascination as Miranda first realized who it was at the front of the line. He hadn't had a clear view of the older woman's face until Andy had moved away from the bar and the unguarded surprise that flashed briefly, as her eyes all but undressed his friend, paled in comparison to the look of absolute longing and hunger that directly followed. Of course all of this happened in the span of mere seconds and he knew that unless someone was specifically watching her that they would have missed it for immediately the bland indifferent mask usually associated with the editor was firmly set back into place.

The young man decided to change his trajectory yet again, allowing Andy to set her own course because he could see that she was clearly aware of exactly who was in the room with her. With a smile he turned and went off in search of his host; wanting to thank him for the generous invitation that had been granted to Andy for him at the last minute.

l l l l l l l

Miranda, so uncharacteristically unaware of everything around her save her quarry, did not register Doug's perusal. She continued instead to where Andrea had stopped, beside the partially open French doors that led to what appeared to be a terrace garden space. She noted that several figures could be seen smoking, the red tips of their cigarettes moving rhythmically in the darkness. Andrea had still not turned around and yet she had the sense that the young woman knew that she was there. She heard the woman inhale and then detected a slight shudder; she could not ascribe the action to anything in particular as the cool breeze gently entering the space could have been the cause.

When next she looked up it was directly into the endless depths of those dark brown eyes framed by luxurious lashes. She barely registered her name being uttered and thought she felt her own lips form the name she had not spoken, save for in her dreams, for just over a year.

l l l l l l l

Andy had been prepared for any number of scenarios playing out when finally she faced her former boss, all of them in shades of scathing and/or embarrassing. What she did not count on was the devastating assault on her senses.

It seemed as though all of them engaged at once: the subtle and unique perfume mingled with something more personal to Miranda; the blouse, a low cut daring play of alternating vertical satin strips and some sheer black material revealing an enticing glimpse of secrets both formed from lace, no doubt La Perla, and, due to their proximity to the open door, physiology; the gentle sound of what could have been her name and then of breathing. It seemed faster than what she remembered the older woman's respiration to be. Her own mouth became void of all moisture as she noted an increase in equal measure in another location, while the citrus of the lime from her drink sharpened not altogether unpleasantly. Lastly her fingers practically itched with a desire to reach out and caress the softness of the other woman's hands, she clutched her glass just a small bit harder to stave off the impulse.

l l l l l l l

One of the smokers returned to the warmth of the room and the door lightly tapped Andy on the side startling both women. Neither had any sense at all how long they had stood there, but judging from the space offered them by the other partygoers, it must have been longer than a few seconds and it must have looked like it was going to be bad. Many of the people in attendance were well aware of the identities of both women and of their history; even the suspicion that a major takedown by the Devil herself was enough to keep them from getting too close.

Which suited Miranda just fine, because she found that she was having a distinct problem with her voice at the moment. So she reaffixed her implacable façade, sipped daintily from her glass and fixed that laser gaze upon the beauty so tantalizingly close, waiting to see what the other woman would do.

Andy had finally secured the knowledge that her hands would not betray her and contemplated the situation. She sensed the subtle shift in the crowd around her, knowing that they expected La Priestly to bare her fearsome claws and tear the hide from her at any moment. This bought them time. Time for what exactly? Of that she wasn't entirely sure, but since she had yet to be drawn and quartered she figured that something else was happening here and, for the first time in the two odd years since meeting this intriguingly complex woman, she felt just a glimmer of hope. She remembered Doug's advice to remember who she was and decided to honor that request by making the first move.

She slowly reached out with her half-filled glass and tapped it lightly against the other woman's. "It's good to see you Miranda." She smiled one of those full smiles that lit up every corner of her face and then took a drink.

Surprised at the self-confidence that the move required, and dazzled by the wattage of the smile, Miranda could only lift her glass in a small salute before continuing to her mouth. It was only after swallowing the smoky whiskey that she was able to finally form a cohesive sentence.

"I do believe you actually mean that, Ahn-dray-ah." She accented the name in perhaps a more exaggerated manner than usual, but it definitely seemed to get a reaction out of the girl. She was beginning to see that perhaps her desire was not as one-sided as she had believed.

She thought back to the letter Andrea had sent her, the letter on stationery she intuited had been chosen with her specifically in mind. She knew the texture of the paper almost as well as the words it contained.

"_Miranda, I will keep this short because I don't want to bore you with the details of my life, but I feel like I owe you an explanation, at least in part, of my actions._

_I apologize for the way I left in Paris. It was unprofessional and impulsive. I recognize it now, but at the time I was upset and confused by so much of what happened that I thought an immediate flight was my only recourse. I realized nearly as soon as my phone hit the fountain that I was doing it all wrong, but by then it was too late. I had left you on the steps to deal with those vultures alone and in doing so sealed my fate._

_It's only been a couple of weeks since I left and I'm not sure I understand everything yet but I did want to say thank you. Thank you for not blacklisting me, thank you for the recommendation and thank you for pushing me to be the best I could possibly be. You have indeed made an indelible impression in my life and I know I will be a better person because of it._

_Your greatest disappointment, _

_Andrea"_

So much had been left unsaid in that letter and as she stood here now, the blanks were beginning to take shape and form. She looked around her, conscious that mostly everyone around them had returned to their own conversations when it became obvious that a scene was not going to erupt. This was neither the time nor the place for a discussion of the sort she believed was now inevitable. Andrea seemed to realize this also as the girl made no further move to engage her, the ball being back in Miranda's court.

Miranda unconsciously caressed the side of her neck and then fiddled with a few of the baubles on her obsidian necklace a move that seemed to mesmerize the younger woman. "Did you arrive here alone Andrea?" Miranda hid the smirk as Andrea jolted back into the conversation.

_Jesus! That woman is so sexy and she doesn't even try I bet, it just happens, although that outfit didn't just happen; that was a premeditated attack. What? Oh shit, did she just say something? _ She raised her eyes from their perusal of the hand that was so privileged to go where she so desperately wanted. "I'm sorry Miranda, I missed what you last said."

With a slight purse of her lips that caused Andy to die just a little bit inside, Miranda repeated the question. "I simply asked if you were unaccompanied tonight, honestly Andrea, must I always repeat myself? Am I really boring you so?" She could see the girl almost take the bait.

_Oh My God! Why does she always have to do that? _Andy found herself scrambling, but at the last second noticed a slight glint in her eye._ She was playing with me. Incredible, Miranda Priestly has a sense of humor! In for a penny, in for a pound. _"Trust me Miranda, boring is absolutely the last word I would ever call you."

"Oh, please do tell. Exactly what would you call me, hmm?" She tapped her finger on her lip and watched as Andrea's slender neck showed evidence of the rather large swallow she took from her now empty glass. After a long moment of Andy remaining silent Miranda continued.

"Tell you what…" She reached for the glass and removed it from suddenly slack fingers. "I will get you another one of these." She sniffed the glass, "vodka and soda with lime?" She allowed a full smirk to form at the girl's widened eyes and nod. "While I am gone I will trust that you will arrive at an answer to my question." With that the woman turned on her five inch heels and headed towards the bar.

Andy was so mesmerized by the sway of the hips and the play of the shadows of sinew and lace beneath that damnable blouse, _what was that anyway, Oscar de la Renta?,_ That she didn't realize Doug had moved up beside her until he spoke. "Damn girl, I would nail her in a New York minute. She is smoking hot!"

She backhanded him in the solar plexus and he coughed. "Don't be crude, one doesn't 'nail' Miranda Priestly."

Rubbing his midsection and glaring mildly at his friend Doug asked. "Oh pray tell, what does one do?"

She answered in a voice that meant she was barely aware that she was speaking out loud. He loved when she got in a mood such as this, for she would always speak as if she were channeling her unfiltered id. "Many things Doug. Slowly with reverence, and then fast and hot with no restraint at all." She looked up at him. "But always, always with respect."

His eyes still tracked the older woman. "Is she coming back?"

"She took my glass and said she was going for a refill. So yes."

"Miranda Priestly is actually getting something for someone? No imperious orders to some poor lackey. Are you serious?"

"Well, when you put it that way, it is rather incredible, however, she left me with a directive and I haven't decided yet how I'm going to respond."

"I heard the last part of your conversation."

"Doug! We're you spying on me?"

"Yes, but only so I could help. Like now. She's flirting with you."

"That's what it would be if it was anyone else in the world, Dougie, but this is Miranda we're talking about. She skewers people with her look. She's always intense, She loves to verbally spar with people and she loves to make someone she perhaps has not yet forgiven for a transgression, suffer. So let's just say, I'm confused."

"Well I'm not confused." He looked up and could see that Miranda had made it through the line and appeared to be placing her order. "Look, you didn't see her face when she first spotted you at the bar. I'm surprised your clothes didn't melt off your back. Honey the look she gave you was the way a starving man eyes a steak. And trust me, she wanted to lick the plate. I've got to hand it to her though, she managed to cover it pretty well. She's a true master. But don't let your doubts fool you. I think you got a shot here."

"God, Doug, but a shot at what? I don't want to just be a quick fuck. I couldn't take it if she only wanted me like that."

He noted that the woman in question was making her way back to their corner. "Okay, I know, but you can't assume the worst and you don't have to solve it all tonight. Just enjoy yourself, go with the flow, oh and I can make my way home all by myself, if you know what I mean!" He smiled at her and gave her a nudge with his elbow then hared off, a scant few seconds before the fashion queen regained her prior spot.

Miranda had spotted the young man as soon as she had both drinks in hand. She watched their interaction and surmised that they knew each other, perhaps maybe friends, not anything more, but she couldn't be certain.

She wasn't certain of anything tonight. Like why she was actually fetching a drink for another human being. She never did that. Okay, not true, she had done it for each of her husbands, when they were dating. _What exactly am I doing?_ She had a passing thought that she could just set the drinks down, collect her coat and leave immediately, but something told her that would be a mistake she would regret for a very long time. _Besides, Miranda Priestly is not a coward._ She mentally shook herself and continued forward.

Miranda handed Andy her drink. "I trust I'm not so frightening that potential suitors are running in fear?"

Andy couldn't contain her sudden bark of laughter. "Who? Dougie? Not even close. Now if I had been Nigel…"

"Ah, so I am only driving away friends then?"

Andy chose to ignore the invitation to explain Doug and his attempt at assistance. "You don't see me running do you?"

"Which leads us directly back to the question I had left you to ponder. If I'm not frightening, then how exactly would you categorize me?"

Andy worried her lower lip with her teeth, mindful of the slight rise in Miranda's color at the action. She looked down at her drink for a moment and then whispered. "An enigma." She looked up through her lashes, swallowed and then repeated, slightly breathless. "A complex, fascinating, beautiful enigma."

Miranda noted that all of the saliva left her mouth at the astounding display before her. She managed to somehow rein in her surprise and only briefly questioned the sanity of what she would next say as she found herself stepping in closer. "An enigma, that tells me you are aware that you know next to nothing about me at all. And yet…" She pitched her voice low. "Tell me, would you like the opportunity to get to know me better Andrea?"

Andy's head jerked up. _Holy shit!_ She let her left hand drop out of sight and pinched her thigh. _Oww, not dreaming._ Realizing she needed to provide an answer soon she met the other woman's unrelenting gaze and repeated the phrasing used by the older woman. "Yes, Miranda, I would." _Stop being such a wuss!_ Her voice growing stronger she added. "I would love the opportunity to get to know you better." _One that literally thousands of men and women would kill for._ Feeling more confident she inquired. "What about you?"

"Hmm?" Miranda tilted her head in question.

"Would you like to get to know me better as well?" She smiled, eyes dancing with humor.

"Cheeky girl. I would never have asked if that wasn't the case." The older woman stepped back to a respectable distance, sipped the last of her drink and decided it was time for her to leave. "I trust you have a way home?"

"Eventually yes. I promised Doug that I would accompany him clubbing tonight." An image appeared as a flash; a darkened dance floor with pulses of light illuminating them, her hands sliding up Miranda's body, circling her arms around the slim middle, pulling her back to front as she ground Miranda's perfect ass into her mound. She nearly doubled over at the sudden clenching of certain parts of her anatomy and what felt like a flood of moisture in her La Perla boy-shorts.

Andrea wasn't the only one entertaining a dance floor fantasy. Miranda however imagined a dark corner where her hand would be allowed to wander up beyond the hem of the leather mini, cupping and then stroking to the pulse of the ubiquitous beat found in every club from New York to Berlin and beyond. She licked her lips and squeezed her thigh muscles, she needed to leave now or she would end up doing something, while not regrettable in act, would be so in terms of timing. No, she needed this, whatever it was, to go slow.

Miranda's stare became even more intense, if it were possible. For a moment Andy thought that the fashion editor was actually going to express an interest in accompanying her to the club. "Andrea, I am going to leave now."

"Oh." Andy visibly deflated.

Miranda was gratified that that the girl was clearly disappointed. She was beginning to turn to take her leave when a sharp whispered "Wait!" stopped her in her tracks.

The younger woman fished around in her small bag and brought out a business card and a pen. She wrote what appeared to be her personal cell phone number on the back and handed it to Miranda. Her fingers buzzed as if from electricity where they had connected with the brunette's. "I know you could have your assistants track me down, or even just ask Nigel, but this way. Well, this way you don't have to involve anyone else, if you don't want to."

Miranda was touched by the care for her privacy, but then Andrea always did go out of her way to see that she was cared for. "Very well. Thank you Andrea." She resisted the urge to lean in and kiss the other woman's cheek but instead nodded once and turned, quickly making her way towards the entrance hall. If she ran into Nigel on the way then she would bid her host goodnight, if not, well he would get over it.

Andrea couldn't help but track the other woman as she walked away. She wasn't particularly upset with her quick departure; in fact it relieved her. If all Miranda had wanted from her was an orgasm, then she would have followed what had appeared to be her first impulse to accompany Andy that night. _Speaking of orgasms._ The aching in her center decided for Andy her next course of action. _Find the bathroom and then find Doug._

**Chapter Five**

It was an innocuous email sent on the Monday following Nigel's party from one M. Priestly to one A. Sachs. with the subject line "The American Ginkgo".

Andrea, thank you so much for educating me on the importance of sex-typing the American Ginkgo tree before planting.

My personal cell phone number is 212-752-1818. You may call me.

Miranda

_That woman is impossible!_ But Andy smiled, she was enjoying this more playful side of Miranda and realized that it was always there, just that before she was too scared to notice it.

_Miranda, if I were being obtuse I would ask, "What may I call you?" But then that would just lead us right back to our conversation the other night and I wouldn't want to embarrass you with further extemporization of your (many) positive attributes._

_Instead, thank you. And I shall._

_Andrea _

Andy hit send and then went back to her most recent literary challenge, a smile planted firmly on her face.

The ping of an incoming email caused Miranda's heart to skip perhaps a single beat. She was in the middle of a run through and could not just drop the clothing on the floor; but she did increase the rapidity of her instructional delivery and managed to have her office cleared five minutes later. All save for Nigel. She stifled a sigh.

"So, I didn't really get to talk to you much Miranda, did you enjoy the party?" It was a mild enough question asked with just enough nonchalance. Miranda understood it was anything but; although, it _**was**_ Nigel, who, after twenty years and in spite of everything was still loyal and was a true friend. She decided to not thwart him; not completely at least.

In her most silky tone she replied. "Hmm, yes; a lovely party. Thank you so much for inviting me. I do regret that I didn't get to see you before I left."

He waved it off. "It was very crowded, I'm sure it would have been difficult to find me amongst all those people." What he did not say was that he had had his boss in his sights for most of the evening, having sought her out when he didn't witness her usual pattern of mingling. "Did you by chance run into anyone you knew?"

Miranda grew weary of the game; she really wished he'd just go so she could open her email but she was reluctant to just dismiss him. Since Paris, she had worked to repair some of the damage done; she gave him more responsibility, offered more positive feedback and less scathing criticism and had even had him to dinner at least once a month with her girls at the townhouse. When she saw he was about to fire off another round she sat down at her desk and raised her hand. "While I am certain that whatever you are about to say is going to be both witty and perhaps even entertaining, I would appreciate it if you were to just go ahead and say or ask whatever it is that is on your mind."

Nigel's mouth slapped shut and he moved towards the chair in front of her desk. Just as he was about to settle in she snapped. "Door."

He was surprised by her directness although he wasn't sure why; whenever something was important in her life she would usually dispense with the bullshit and meet it head on. And what Nigel long suspected was that one Andrea Sachs was very important to one Miranda Priestly. Still he closed his eyes for a moment before he turned around and prayed he wasn't going to be summarily executed.

"What's going on with you and Andy?"

"There, that wasn't so hard now was it?" She picked up a pen and tapped it against her upper lip, leaning back in the office chair that had been tailored for her form. "If I were to say nothing, would you believe me?"

The quirk of an eyebrow was all the answer she needed. She smiled, but it wasn't particularly nice.

"Fine. Nothing is going on, yet. And nothing may as yet go on. Andrea and I became aware of a mutual…" She searched for a word and brushed her hand around in the air. "…something while speaking at your party. We are in the process of determining the grounds for exploration of that, something…" She trailed off at the look on his face and squinted at him. "Are you going to insist upon wearing that insipid grin for the duration of my explanation?"

"Miranda, Miranda. I am really happy for you. That girl has been in love with you from long since before Harry Potter."

The editor could not school her reaction and looked entirely shocked by the revelation. "Surely you are not serious. How do you know this?"

He tapped the corner of his eye. "I see Miranda. You have been the most important person in her world for some time now. And she has been important to you for just as long, if not longer. So, voila, silly grin."

She closed her eyes. "Nigel, be serious, that girl has no idea who I really am; all she knows is what I've allowed her to see. This has the potential to turn into a complete nightmare."

"That girl 'sees' far more than you give her credit for and, I believe, has her own depth unrevealed." He interrupted. "And yes, it does. It also has the potential to be the best thing that's ever happened to both of you. I think it's up to you to decide which of those options you would like to have come to fruition and make it so."

The phone on her desk rang. "Yes Emily? Send them through."

"Nigel?" She stared at him for a moment longer and dipped her head. "That's all."

l l l l l l l

_I gave Andrea my private cell number today. Whatever has possessed me to act with such recklessness I don't know. Nigel's party revealed that we are both incredibly attracted to one another and I know for certain that, for myself, it goes far beyond simple attraction. I have always been drawn to her and if I could have her in my life it would be a miracle of unfathomable proportion. But I question so much about this. I am so much older than her, plus, well, it would be doomed as I am incapable of being what she would need in the long run; it stretches my belief that she would want me beyond the boundaries of a temporary affair. Yet knowing all this still doesn't prevent me from the incredible wanting._

She thought of Nigel for a moment and continued in a different direction.

_Nigel knows. He actually surmised it some time ago but today he asked me directly and I actually answered him. Completely out of character; I am finding that my ice queen façade is absolutely failing me now and to my surprise I just don't care. I have everything I have ever wanted, except for a relationship that allows me to be myself. Holding myself apart in my personal life has not worked for me in the past therefore the intelligent thing to do is to not repeat the same mistake. So, despite what I know about myself and the dictates of society that say I should confine my associations to individuals of the opposite sex within my own age and income brackets, I find myself doing something as ridiculous as waiting for that young woman's call._

She looked at the clock, it was half passed ten, and sighed.

_Which I guess won't be tonight._

She had just replaced the placeholder into her journal and was reaching for The Book when her phone rang.

l l l l l l l

Andy ended up leaving the office far later than she had wanted that night; they had needed her to help with some copy for the website and now, at ten of ten, she was only half way home. She leaned back in her seat and tried to order her thoughts. When Miranda gave her permission to call her she was beyond happy; now she was nervous. _What the hell do I say to the woman? Hi Miranda, would you like to go on a date with me?_ Oh that so wouldn't do.

By the time she arrived at her subway stop she had worked herself into a near panic state. As soon as she was above ground she dialed Doug. Fortunately, he picked up.

"Hey Andy, how's it going?"

"'mgoingtocallherbutIdon'tknowwhattosay!"

"Andy, you are a nut! Slow down and try that again. But first, take a deep breath."

"Doug, what can I say to her? I want to call her, She gave me her private number today and indicated that it was alright to call which is practically a directive unto itself!" Andy scanned the area around her as she turned onto her street, looking for anyone that may seem to have taken an interest in her. Even in her flustered state she still maintained an air of vigilance; it wasn't a horrible neighborhood, but still it wouldn't do to make herself an easy target.

"Andy, alright look. She doesn't give her number to just anyone right? So that means she already sees you as someone special. What did I tell you Saturday night? Just be yourself. You won't have to do all the work. She'll talk too. And even if she doesn't, just ask her to lunch or dinner or whatever, keep it simple. You can do this."

Andy unlocked the security door and headed for the elevator that was slower than a tortoise but meant she didn't have to trudge up four long flights of stairs. "Thanks, Doug, I just needed a little assurance. This is freaking me out because I don't want to screw it up. This could really be something. I really want to go for it with her. Listen, I need to hang up because I'm getting into the elevator. Thanks, you're the best!"

"Go for it Andy, you can do anything you set your mind to, remember that. Love you, bye."

Andy strode into her bedroom and glanced at the clock; quarter past ten. Late by Cincinnati standards but still early enough for Miranda which meant there was time to change into something comfortable. Trading her work clothes for a long sleeved t-shirt and yoga pants she headed to the kitchen for a cup of tea. Once the tea was ready she settled onto the sofa and stared at her phone. Five minutes of staring didn't change anything so she pulled up Miranda's number and hit send.

It rang twice before being picked up. This was it.

"Hello, Andrea." Miranda realized as soon as she said the woman's name that she had just let slip a tell. Miranda had programmed Andy's numbers in when she had arrived home on Saturday night. _No help for it now. _

Andrea, such as the state she was in, didn't notice. "Hi Miranda, I hope this is an okay time to call. I only got home from work about twenty minutes ago, but I just wanted to call because well I just wanted to call…" _Shut up! You're babbling!_

Miranda smiled at the nervousness in Andrea's voice, charmed instead of irritated. "It's alright, I was just getting ready to begin review of The Book, but I have a few minutes for you."

The way she emphasized "for you" settled something inside of Andy and she no longer felt like she was going to faint. "Good, I'm glad; thank you."

"You don't have to thank me Andrea; I am really glad you called."

"You are?"

"Why do you sound so surprised? I've found that I've missed you and I enjoyed our time at the party."

Andy felt like she had just stumbled through a wormhole or some other inter-dimensional rift for surely the universe had folded around her.

Deciding to take advantage of this alternate reality, she managed to somehow keep her next words even. "Would you be available for lunch sometime this week?"

"I'm afraid every day this week is already booked." Andy's world plummeted only to be lifted right back up as Miranda's voice continued. "However, I do have tomorrow evening free, would you care to accompany me to dinner?"

l l l l l l l

After the book was finished Miranda retired to her bed, but found she was unable to let go of a feeling of impending doom. She arose and made her way to her study and the comfort found within her desk drawer.

_What am I doing? I made a date with Andrea. The madness has now leaked into my waking world and I am near to exposing myself to certain catastrophe. Andrea said the other night that I was an enigma; she has no idea how true that is, nor at what lies underneath. When she left me in Paris she left because of my seeming cruelty to someone who I call friend, but I have always done what was necessary. I fear that when once she discovers I have done much worse in my past, that she will once again flee; this time in fear that I would be capable of doing the same to her eventually. My heart is already too enmeshed in this dalliance. I could not bear it I were to lose her once we started something that has no rational hope of success._

She paused and reread what she had written.

_I realize that I am sounding very pessimistic here, uncharacteristically so. Every time I've wanted something I have visualized its creation, hoped for its manifestation and worked for its fruition. Why do I doubt so much now? _

Miranda contemplated for several minutes.

_Fear. This fear is making me weak._

She shook her head in disgust, closed her journal and went back to bed. Sleep, when it finally came, was not restful and she awakened knowing that she needed to end this thing before it could truly become something beyond her ability to control.

**Chapter Six**

Andy had just made it out the door of the Mirror at 6:10 the following evening when the distinctive black Mercedes pulled to the curb. Andrea mused that she no longer felt the fear long associated with the vehicle or its owner; rather an adrenalin rush of a different sort. She spared a moment to enjoy that sensation as Roy exited the car and held the back door of the driver's side for her.

Andy, having long ago gotten used to entering the car on the traffic side as Miranda slid across the seat for no one; acknowledged her one time work colleague. "Thank you Roy. It's good to see you again." She smiled as she ducked down into the car, checking her outfit one last time in the dark tinted glass.

She had dressed with extra care that day, the Chanel blouse that Nigel had commented on and a simple pair of trousers, while not designer, that flattered her form nicely. She had endured the entire day in a pair of black patent leather Jimmy Choo slingbacks, for which she received many comments, mostly in the form of good natured jibes, and had been busted more than once heading to the printer in her stocking feet.

She looked over to the woman sitting next to her as she settled into her seat and the car pulled away from the curb; she laid her jacket and purse on the seat beside her as the weather had actually made it to fifty degrees that day and she had no need for it. Miranda was currently on the phone and had looked up and offered a warm smile when their eyes met.

"Caroline, no, I told you yesterday morning that if you didn't complete the essay by last night that you wouldn't be able to go out with your friends this evening. I'm sorry dear, you understood the arrangement. Yes it is fair; Cassidy also understood and since she completed the work, she gets to go. No. And that is all I have to say on the matter, you know what you have to do. Yes, I should be home before you go to bed, I love you my darling."

Andy smiled as she listened to the woman converse with her daughter, unable to help but overhear. Miranda regarded her once she had clicked her phone shut. "Hello Andrea. Did you find my conversation amusing in some way?"

"The girls do their own homework now I gather?"

"Hmm, surely I don't know of a time when they did not. Do you?" She smirked as she lazily waved her hand into the air in front of her. "No matter; they do it now, but not without a battle. Especially Caroline, whose interests lie in less book-centered matters like art and fashion."

"So fifteen to twenty years from now the world will be witnessing the passing of the Runway torch from one generation to another?" Andrea meant it in a lighthearted fashion but was surprised at the response.

"Unless the universe suddenly manages to cease all movement and we are magically transported into the future, the answer would be no." Andy stared at the other woman, completely nonplussed. Miranda Priestly, iconic editor of the premier fashion magazine in the world and the single most influential human being in the fashion industry all but came out and said that she had been giving thought to a time when Runway would not be in her life. Before she could voice the question in her eyes Miranda halted her words with a quiet. "Let it go Andrea; just let it go." The "please" was implied and it didn't cost Andy anything but her curiosity to comply. The look received she believed was one of relief.

Miranda was definitely relieved, but also quite piqued with herself. _What is it about this young woman that just makes me lose all sense? _She had resolved upon waking that she would take care of this once and for all, but now, sitting in such close proximity, taking in the natural beauty and that indefinable something that seemed to inexorably draw the older woman in, she felt herself waver. The desire to reach out and caress the pale perfect skin, to trace lips so invitingly soft was nearly overwhelming. She mentally shook her head and snorted in disgust at her weakness. Again. She needed to somehow regain a little control here.

After several minutes of silence Andy turned her head and looked around her, recognizing the area they were now in as being fairly close to where her apartment with Nate used to be. "I don't remember any great dining experiences in this part of the Lower East Side Miranda. Where're we going?"

Miranda did not reply but sported that small, sly grin that Andy associated with her after having won some type of victory or having been proven right. She decided to let it go and trust that whatever Miranda had in store would be safe and probably really interesting.

They pulled up to a cluster of former warehouse buildings, all nicely refurbished but understated. There were no flashy signs but there were people moving about on the street. The building Roy deposited them in front of had a storefront with what looked to be an herbalist in residence.

Still in silence, Miranda considering how she might regain her equilibrium and Andy absorbing her surroundings, they walked towards the side of the building and into an alleyway, where after about twenty-five feet, was a metal door flanked by two small engraved bronze plaques inset into the brick. Both plaques contained reliefs of a highly stylized flower, Andy thought probably an iris. Somewhere in their stroll Miranda had produced a keycard from her purse and after they had stood in front of the door for a moment she waved it over the iris on the right and a slight clicking sound indicated that the lock had released. Andy noted absently, as the door was opened, that Roy turned from his position at the end of the alley, presumably to return to the car and whatever it was he did while he was on standby.

They entered into a hallway with cracked and slightly crumbling plaster walls, typical of a factory worker entrance, even with the slight feeling of decay about it; the time card punch with the broken glass front confirmed her thoughts nicely. Andy felt pleased with herself for getting the story right and relaxed into absorbing the experience, She knew they weren't just going to be wandering around an abandoned warehouse all evening. Something really cool was going to be revealed. Of course the curves of that perfect behind revealed by each step Miranda took, shifting fluidly under the pencil skirt, was nearly entertainment enough; and that flame of desire that had flared at the party suddenly returned with a vengeance.

The wooden floor creaked under the progression of their footsteps as they made their way by the light of several bare incandescent bulbs with round metal shades hanging from the ceiling. Neither woman had said a word since they entered the space but Miranda looked over at her as they stopped at what appeared to be a large freight elevator, and shot her a look that Andy couldn't quite decipher.

"Are you sufficiently curious by now? Hmm, perhaps even slightly worried, alone with the Dragon Lady, no one around to help or to witness." The older woman leaned in closer to her prey, at her most shark-like, purring in a whispery dark tone. "You could simply disappear and no one would even begin to know where to look."

Andy, to her credit, didn't even flinch, rather she saw the humor and perhaps even a bit of challenge in the other woman's eye and decided to turn the tables. The elevator had yet to open, so she guessed it would not unless the keycard was somehow used again. This told her no one would be popping in suddenly; also she figured that they had been under surveillance, probably since they approached the front of the building, so decided that the area to the left of the elevator would do nicely.

"How do you know that it's not you who should be worried Miranda?" The younger woman whispered as she edged closer, inching her backwards slowly. "How do you know that I haven't been just biding _**my**_ time, waiting for the perfect moment to get back at you for all of those horrible things you put me through?" She slowed the cadence of her words and prodded her with her stare. "Remember how you used to run me ragged, testing me, pushing me, looking down at me?"

She allowed a slight curve of her lips. "Remember the hurricane?"

The younger woman, who now seemed far more dangerous, moved as close to the other woman as possible without stepping on her toes; nearly the same height now due to the extra inch Miranda's shoes had on Andy's.

"Remember Harry. Fucking. Potter?" They stared into one another's eyes and Andy saw a question mirrored there. Her breathing increased and she drew in not only the scent of Miranda's perfume, but of the uniqueness of the other woman. Suddenly she pushed forward and grabbed Miranda by the upper arms, pushing her all the way back into the darkened corner; she noted absently that the wall there looked fairly new and it was clean and some part of her brain not controlled by her lizard self was gratified that the fashion queen's outfit would not be marred where it had impacted.

Andy held her there for a moment, her body now crushing up against Miranda's, rendering her immobile; one hand stroking the delicate slope of her neck. "How do you know Miranda? How do you know?" Without waiting for a response she took the other woman's head in both hands, sifting through the iconic hair briefly before gripping handfuls of it and holding her there.

Andy moved her head back slightly, dark brown eyes staring intently; she could see that she had startled the other woman. Andy felt the realization that the predator knew she was now the prey for the silver panther closed her eyes and trembled.

Andy felt the shiver and it aroused her like nothing else ever had. She closed the small distance between them and crushed her lips to the woman who had sparked so many dreams and fantasies, completely unprepared for the resulting cascade of liquid emotion. She felt everything and nothing; fully alive for perhaps the first time in her young life.

Lips moved under hers and then parted allowing their tongues to caress and pull. Andy's hands slid down the shapely form, lightly exploring and caressing until they rested on the part of the older woman's anatomy that had started all of this; it took all of her willpower to not explore the flesh she could now feel shifting under the material of the skirt; all of her self-control to not push up the skirt and determine whether or not the lack of panty lines was due to a thong or nothing at all. The thought further loosened the fragile control she had over the primal beast that seemed to have taken over her actions and she dug her fingers in and squeezed. The other woman jolted forward until she was pressed even tighter against her, hands pulling Andy in by her shoulders and their kiss intensified. Andy's knee was pressed between Miranda's knees as the skirt had inched up enough that allowed her thigh to just barely come into contact with the juncture of the other woman's legs. One of her hands reached down to caress the silk clad thigh and she was nearly lost.

The moan she released into Miranda's mouth served to shake her from her daze; where was she? She pulled back from the kiss and took in her surroundings. Suddenly the hand that had been sending such pleasurable signals only seconds before now felt as though it was a conspirator abetting in a crime. _Oh my god, what am I doing?_ Even as she was questioning herself her traitorous hand had continued its light stroking. _I have no control over myself!_ The thought panicked her nearly as much as the realization that she was so very close to crossing a line within herself, which, until that moment, she hadn't even been aware was in existence.

Miranda felt the air leave her lungs as the other woman pressed her back into the wall. This young woman never ceased to surprise her and, as she felt the control that Andrea had taken over her, she shuddered in amazement at her own acquiescence. _So much for putting her back where she belongs, eh Miranda? _Her inner voice chided.

When Andy moved her head back slightly, the dark brown eyes startled the other woman. She had seen many things in those expressive eyes. Indeed it had intrigued her, the way Andrea could speak without words so effectively, but the look she was receiving at that moment nearly devastated her with its intensity.

She couldn't move beyond the position of her head, pinned in place; such "man"handling by anyone else would have enraged her. Indeed Stephen had found out the hard way one night after he had a bit too much to drink that she would not be handled roughly; the neat oval scar of her bite on his upper arm was proof. No, her reaction was much different, perhaps even confusing except for the feeling of rightness.

When Andrea's lips sought her own she was ready for a painful onslaught of aggression. What she received instead was a mastery, yes, but also a gentle exploration that built with the contribution of both as equals. When Andrea's hands slid achingly over her body she felt every millimeter spark to life and when they explored the globes of her ass she shivered with the knowledge that the young woman was searching for edges that did not exist due to the barely there thong she sported. When Andrea moaned into her mouth it was pure sex and she very nearly tumbled into an orgasm right there.

So she was somewhat surprised when the other woman ceased all activity and then moments later, hastily pushed herself away and took two steps back. The sudden coolness of the hallway they were standing in registered as well as what they had been doing, in a public space no less. Although as she looked around she realized that Andrea had protected her yet again, unless the cameras were fitted with night vision lenses, nothing of what just what went on would have been captured. She felt comforted by this revelation, so it was somewhat of a shock when a flashback to the tearful young woman who had apologized for her failure to return her home whilst a hurricane raged made an unexpected reappearance.

"Oh my god, Miranda, I'm so sorry! I didn't hurt you did I?" Andrea made as if to reach for the other woman, but stopped suddenly as if she didn't have the right. Miranda's confusion intensified.

Andy was fully engaged now in being horrified by her behavior. It was one thing to harbor fantasies, but to behave in such a manner was completely out of character. Surely Miranda would now march her ass back out onto the street and she would never see her again.

While the two women attempted to regain their equilibrium Miranda straightened her short jacket and skirt. Andrea looked fairly put together. _And why wouldn't she? It was she who had you pressed against the wall._ Her lower region responded longingly at the thought, still absolutely amazed that it was her only reaction.

"Andrea." When the other woman began to pace agitatedly Miranda repeated herself louder.

"Andrea, stop. Listen to me, I am alright. You didn't do anything wrong." Her heart nearly broke when she saw the pleading look in the younger woman's eyes. "That's right, it's alright. But it won't be if we don't get ourselves onto that elevator in the next minute. Our hosts grow uneasy if their guests do not adhere to protocol and fail to appear when expected."

Andrea's nod indicated to Miranda that she was coming back from whatever panic place she had stepped into, but even as it relieved the older woman she realized that the number of things they needed to discuss had just doubled within the span of the last few minutes. She put that aside for now. "Andrea, since we are sorely deprived of a mirror I need to rely on you to ensure that I don't look like I've been suddenly ravished in a darkened doorway."

The young woman blushed, but gamely pulled it together. Andrea's initial shock at her behavior was lessening and morphing more into a general confusion, but she always rose to the occasion when the other woman needed her. Miranda had waved the keycard over another bronze plaque and they heard the hydraulics of the lift activate. While they waited, Andy straightened and brushed at Miranda's couture until it would have taken an extremely critical eye to discern that anything was remotely amiss. As she centered the skirt her hands couldn't resist a caress to the hips that soon became a stronger hold; her fingers itched to slide that damn skirt up and over hips she just knew would be perfect. Just as she was about to step in and continue where they had been a minute prior the elevator arrived and the doors slid open.

Miranda smiled and brushed by the other woman, who seemed rooted in place. Miranda nodded her head once and Andy good naturedly shook hers and smiled while she sidled up and maintained a perfectly respectable distance. Miranda nearly pouted even as she saw the necessity of it.

When the doors opened it was to a different world. The wood floor of the warehouse was still present but here it was polished so it reflected the warmth of halogen lighting tucked into deep canisters. They faced a dark oak bar with an elaborately carved back piece inset with a mirror its entire length. As they drew closer Andy could see that the carvings were all females sporting small wings, like fairies or wood nymphs and she smiled in delight. She noticed there were about a dozen patrons sprinkled throughout the space, some were alone and some were in couples, all of them female. She looked closer at one woman in particular, while trying not to stare; she swore she bore an uncanny resemblance to a CNN correspondent recently returned from a long overseas assignment, while the older blond woman across from her looked like…her mind screeched to a halt for a moment. _No fucking way!_

A tall, slender yet shapely woman with porcelain skin and long auburn hair pulled back with a cloisonné clasp emerged from a door way, interrupting Andy's assessment and held out her hand to her companion in greeting. She was dressed in a crisp, deep burgundy pantsuit and her age was indeterminable; she could have been thirty, she could have been fifty. "Miranda, it has been too long." They air kissed both cheeks as their hands clasped briefly, it felt very European and the woman's distinctive accent added to the impression. When they separated the woman turned towards her "I am Madeline, the proprietor of this establishment, welcome?"

Andy heard the implied question and, always helpful, responded. "Andrea." That she offered the official form of her name escaped her, but not her companion who only smiled, oddly pleased.

"Andrea." She repeated Andy's pronunciation, which was in the prosaic manner of her parents, and it reminded Andy of how utterly unique Miranda's take continued to be. "Your table is ready, please follow me."

They passed through the rest of the bar and entered into a room that looked as though it could serve as a dance floor, complete with a raised dais at the far end of the space; large windows with darkened glass resting in the naked brick wall backed up the scene. Andy noted that there were a number of open doorways flanking the entire space on both sides and she observed a server or two moving into and out of them. As they entered one of what she realized to be an alcove Andy discovered that it led to a private booth space, thus allowing the patrons to be completely protected from unwarranted observation.

"Miranda, I'm impressed. I never would have imagined a place such as this existed." She looked around and took in the subdued lighting, the fine crystal and silver setting. The color palette of the walls, except for the naked brick of what she trusted to be an outer wall and the tablecloth appeared in the low light to be an eggshell or off white while the carpet was dark solid rust. Rich wood, carved with a forest motif of trees and vines and more of the wood nymphs seen in the bar, framed the booth which was upholstered with an extensively patterned sculpting of flowers in a monochromatic tone just a few shades lighter than the carpet. On the wall, both in front of the booth and behind were paintings, abstract with bold colors, but she could tell the forms were somehow feminine. An arrangement of flowers graced the table, subtle in both color and scent. The overall feel of the space managed an intriguing blend of masculine and feminine which Andy realized was very soothing. They settled in so that a distance amenable to easy conversation separated them.

A waitperson, with an accent not unlike Madeline's (French? But slightly different from the French she knew) immediately appeared at tableside and Miranda, after receiving a nod of assent from Andy, ordered a bottle of wine. For the moment, the menus placed on the side of the table were ignored as the two women regarded one another. Unable to help herself, Andy reached for the older woman's hand and drew it over so it rested lightly in her lap; as her fingers caressed a certain spot between the surprisingly long fingers of her companion's she heard a light gasp and noted it for future reference. Relenting she contented with simply holding the hand lightly for a moment before kissing the palm and returning it to its owner.

Miranda tightened the hand into a fist, feeling the kiss like a burn of acid. She had wanted to talk but found, like downstairs in front of the elevator, that her hormones were flooding her senses with multiple urges and pleasurable sensations, while slowing the transmitters of rational thought, inhibition and intelligent conversation. However Miranda was not one to give in when she knew something was important.

"Andrea, I brought you here because I believe we need to talk. It's private enough that we won't be overheard, but not so private that we are free to lose ourselves to this physical "thing" between us. After all, anyone could step in at any moment."

As if to highlight her point the waitperson returned with the wine. After it was approved of and poured, she inquired if they were ready to order. Andy moved to grab one of the menus, but was stopped by Miranda's hand covering her own. "Do you trust me Andrea?"

Andy's response was immediate. "Yes."

With a pleased nod, Miranda turned to the waitress and fired off a list of instructions, all in perfectly modulated French. Andy's body reacted like someone had just taken her nipple in their mouth and bit. She shifted slightly as she watched the server exit and, when she spoke, her tone focused like a laser. "Miranda, I think you failed to consider one minor point when you arranged for this location as our 'safe' ground."

"Oh? Do continue." Miranda was growing increasingly uncomfortable, even her most formidable will had limits.

Andy swallowed at the audacity of the words she was about to say. "The fact that I might not entirely care that we could have an audience, and…" She drew the word out and leaned over until she was level with the other woman's ear, gambling. "I have a feeling that you may not either."

The light wisp of breath along the sensitive skin behind her ear, the tracing of an indefinable pattern upon her thigh and the voyeuristic intimation all combined to create a craving so high and intense that Miranda felt suddenly that her need was as essential to her as breathing; and it didn't stop there.

Andy's hand slid down the hem of the worsted wool skirt; she palmed the inside of the knee and began to slowly slide the hand upwards. A tentative tongue, that grew bolder with each labored inhale of the silver-haired beauty, danced around the shell of a delicate ear. "Andrea?" Miranda whispered.

"Yes Miranda?" Uttered on an exhale that further released a shower of tingles throughout the older woman's body. "I can smell you Miranda; how you want me." Her hand had continued to inch higher until it met resistance from the stiff fabric of the skirt. A pencil skirt did not provide easy access. "Miranda, next time, I want you to wear something that will allow my hand to go where it so desires. Do you want that too?"

_You have no idea how badly…._ Miranda gulped in a cleansing breath and reached for her wine glass. Her body was trembling noticeably and the wine glass shook slightly as she placed it back on the table. _Look at you, practically begging for it. Get a hold of yourself! _Miranda merely shrugged at her inner voice, completely caught in the moment.

The two women remained nestled together, Andrea continuing to nuzzle her neck while her hand, having ceased its upward climb, continued to weave suggestive patterns on the soft sensitive skin just at the top of her thigh-highs. Miranda contemplated the position she was in, so completely aroused and so close to giving in and allowing the younger woman to…_to what, have it off on the table?_

Another nibble at the tender skin behind her ear, a puff of breath, another shudder; but instead of a massive loss of control an all-encompassing awareness cascaded through the always controlled editor. This person, this deceptively innocent looking young woman, had triggered something primal and messy and completely miraculous. It became crystal clear that this young woman would own her body, and that her heart was in equal peril. The realization filled her with such joy and yet such sorrow that she nearly wept with the fullness of it. It also gave her the power to pull back and gain control over herself within that very moment.

"Andrea." Eyes clouded with lust gazed back up at her. "I need you to listen very carefully to what I am about to say to you." She shifted back from the other woman so that they were not touching at all.

"I had intentions of talking to you about what you could possibly want from an old woman, such as myself. No, no." At Andy's attempt at interruption, Miranda waved her off. "Let me say this. I **need** to say this.

"I recognize that there are some real hurdles that we face, age being one of them. There are also other things, things about me you do not know. I have been doing much thinking. I initially wanted to set boundaries, to find out your motivations, your desires, if you wanted more than a mere dalliance. I have many concerns around that. I have many feelings for you, you awaken something in me, but I am very conflicted. I told myself that I wouldn't allow myself to become involved with you if I thought that you would be in any way hurt by our association; that you would perhaps want more than I am able to give. You deserve someone younger, with more in common, someone deserving of **you**. I was strongly considering that this would be our only meeting."

At the younger woman's gasp, Miranda placed one hand over Andy's and silenced her younger companion.

"But in the span of thirty minutes you have managed to do something that no one else has ever done before, even with years of trying. You have managed to make me not care about any of it at all and I am sorry. I don't understand it, I don't have a frame of reference for it, I barely recognize myself at all in this, but I can now see the totality of the picture. I must have you. I must have you in every sense of the word. Perhaps even stronger within me is an intense need for you to have me; all of me. I want to be fucked by you so badly, that I would be willing to do it with whoever was watching, wherever you would want." Miranda took in the effect of her words, uttered in her soft even tones that had grown raspier with each declaration. Andrea shifted in her seat, thighs pressed closer together.

She continued, voice growing firmer. "But our first time will not be here. No. I want entirely _**too much**_ for our first time to be a mere quickie in a public place. I want you to have me for hours. When you touch me I want you to touch me through my clothes and then touch me out of my clothes. I want you to use me in every imaginable way and then I want to do the same to you. Do you understand me Andrea? It will not happen tonight, but it will happen and I am willing."

The sexual haze that Andy had been succumbing to coalesced into something more deeply profound with each word the older woman spoke. She railed at Miranda's depiction of herself as a foolish old woman; as if a number somehow should negate the beauty of a lifetime lived. She felt herself grow angry and nearly heartbroken that the other woman had basically told her that there was no possibility of a long-term relationship. As she listened she realized that the other woman was leaving much unsaid; the editor had intimated that she perhaps had feelings beyond the physical, yet only told Andy what she believed was inevitable. There were further clues buried within the artifice; Miranda explained herself to no one, the expressed wish to not harm Andy emotionally and the physical vulnerability offered up so selflessly spoke of a much deeper well that reassured the younger woman.

Recognition of this filled Andy with hope and a profound gratitude made more intense because by offering her physical self so completely Miranda was in fact accepting Andy in a way that no one ever had. The younger woman felt determination settle in, even as the actual chances for her in the long run of sharing this woman's heart caused her to want to weep with despair. Ever pragmatic, the young girl reached the same conclusion as her future lover, it did not matter, she had to have her and only hope it could be much more.

She managed to hold back the tears, mostly, but when she looked up and met the other woman's gaze one lone tear managed to break free and track gently along the slope of her cheek. When Miranda captured that tear with her finger and then brought the finger to her lips she thought she would faint; when her tongue lazily peeked out and licked it away Andy nearly got down on one knee and asked the woman to marry her.

It was at that moment that the waitperson returned with a small platter and two plates. Andrea looked at the offering and smiled; a beef Carpaccio liberally drizzled with what looked like a vinaigrette, some type of oil, either olive or perhaps truffle and capers. Rustic crackers were placed next to it. "Miranda, I…"

"Andrea, please, may we just eat?"

Andy snorted with the irony; all around her everyday were women starving themselves to fit in at Runway. She remembered all the times that Miranda had glared at her whenever she would mention a meal that Nate had cooked for her. Only now… "Miranda, whenever you would glare at me when I would mention a meal my former boyfriend had cooked for me, it didn't have anything at all to do with the fact that I was consuming mass carbs and fat, did it?"

The silver haired woman smiled at the apparent non-sequitur and in answer picked up a cracker, rolling some of the paper thin meat and sauce onto it. She then offered it to the other woman and said. "I am sure that I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Here, try this."

Andy leaned forward and allowed the other woman to guide the morsel into her mouth. It melted like butter and she closed her eyes and moaned softly as she licked a bit of vinaigrette from her lip. _Oooh, definitely truffle oil._

When she opened them again the stare she received was enough to liquefy her entire body. Even when Miranda had been at her most focused while engaged in her work, she had never displayed a look so piercing in intensity. Andy could see that every muscle was set in a portrait of tension, like a cobra waiting to strike.

Andy groaned again. "Jesus, Miranda, please, if we are going to survive this meal you have got to not look at me like that." She swallowed hard and reached for her water glass.

Fingernails digging into the palms of both hands and jaw clenched so it nearly ached Miranda managed to bank her desire back into a slow burn. _Honestly you are going to have a bloody stroke if you don't watch yourself. _When she spoke it was in a harsh whisper. "Andrea, for me to continue to comport myself with any shred of self-respect," She swallowed. "please refrain from any further moaning at the table."

The rest of the meal followed in an only slightly less torturous fashion. A course would arrive and Andy's eyes would practically roll with the flavors. Miranda managed to adjust by looking upon the entire display with amusement.

"Honestly Andrea, I don't believe I have ever seen anyone enjoy food to the degree that you do." Despite the cool tone Miranda sported a warm smile at the younger woman.

Andy sipped at her wine, they had just finished the cheese course and dessert was soon to be served. "That was probably the worst thing about working at Runway; I felt that I had to somehow pretend that I was indifferent to food. And with Emily perpetually dieting and scowling daily at me if I even so much as nibbled at anything bigger than a cheese cube, I just put aside the love of the food and ate for sustenance."

Miranda made a lazy, sweeping glance at Andrea's figure. "I can see that you must have rediscovered your passion since leaving us."

Andy paused. She could take this several ways but decided before she allowed her feelings to be hurt and say something snippy that she would clarify. So she responded neutrally, eyes glancing away. "I haven't gotten from you that you find my form to be displeasing."

Miranda started at the comment. "Forgive me Andrea, I realized after I said it that it could be interpreted in a manner that I do not mean. Your curves are one of the things that make you so beautiful. If I wanted all skin and bones, I would certainly have my pick wouldn't you say?" She sipped again at her wine. "No, I was merely meaning that you do not appear starved for which I am truly grateful."

"Thank you for explaining that to me." She smiled, suddenly very pleased. "It feels really good to just be able to sit here and talk to you; not feeling like I have to watch every word or worry about not asking you questions. This is really nice."

"One of the things I have never been particularly good at is communication. In the past I have failed miserably in that department." Left unsaid was that she was hopeful of doing better with the younger woman, but it seemed that perhaps she needn't spell that out if the young woman's beaming smile was any indication.

"What?"

"Miranda, this, meaning the last few days including Nigel's party, feels like a dream to me. And to realize that I am actually sitting here, with you on a date. It's, I don't know the words, _fuckingfantastic!"_

Miranda laughed; it sounded like water over pebbles in a stream and her whole body shook with it.

"Did I just say that out loud? Okay, well, it is. I've dreamt about this for so long."

"Have you really?" Miranda was suddenly serious.

"Miranda, this isn't just a passing thing for me. I know you didn't want me to really go into it tonight because I know we got really intense earlier, but you've got to know that. I've been gone on you for a long, long time. It's just that before Saturday night I never saw any hope for what I felt to be anything more than a one-sided fantasy."

Their server chose that moment to appear with their dessert. A berry tart for Miranda and chocolate mousse for Andy.

Andy looked down at the plate with the small crystal goblet centered on it. "Uh Miranda, that part about no moaning? Ain't gonna happen here; prepare yourself." Then she shot her an evil grin.

_What is it about this girl?_ _Even when she's acting like a goofy adolescent I can't find anything within myself except fascination and tenderness. _

l l l l l l l

After settling into the back of the Mercedes Andrea gave Roy her address; she casually perused the front of the car as he entered it into the dashboard GPS and they discussed various one way streets and which routes were still usually clogged with traffic at this time of night. She was unaware that she was the center of attention for the older woman.

Miranda watched as the younger woman casually leaned forward to speak with Roy. She had become so graceful and elegant; that she had ever been the gawky fashion train wreck of her first weeks at Runway was nearly inconceivable. The cool blue eyes greedily trailed the curve of Andrea's body; her right arm was extended to rest on the partition's ledge thus pulling at the fabric of her blouse while the curves of her rounded bottom became even more evident. Miranda hoped that they would conclude their conversation quickly so that the overhead light would no longer illuminate her temptation.

Finally Andrea sank back into the seat and the privacy partition was raised; the only lights now were those at ankle level and whatever outside light made it through the tinted glass. She noted that they both took care to maintain an appropriate distance between themselves.

Miranda elected to try for the safety of casual conversation. Plus she was genuinely curious about Andrea's life. "The Upper West Side Andrea? When did you move there?"

"About six months ago and it could technically be called Harlem, but it's a close thing. One of my colleagues is on a five year assignment in Europe and needed someone, preferably someone she knew, to sub-lease it. It's really perfect since it had been in her family for years and is rent-controlled; that's how I'm able to afford two bedrooms in Manhattan on my own."

"Mmm. Tell me about the neighborhood."

"Well I like it because there are a lot of great takeout places nearby, the Cathedral Parkway subway station isn't too far of a walk and best of all, Morningside Park is only a block or so away." Andrea paused for a moment, remembering there was something she had wanted to ask.

"Miranda, I'm curious about something."

"Yes?"

"Tell me about that club we were just at. How did you find out about it? Do you have to be a member or do you just know someone who's a member?"

"I had wondered when you would get around to that. It actually took you longer than I thought."

Andy felt her face grow warm, but answered coyly. "Well I _**was**_ distracted for most of the night."

"Did you know that your blush is very becoming?"

Andy blushed harder and then heard the rustle of material and in spite of watching as Miranda moved closer she was still startled when a hand covered her own.

"Oh no," she chuckled, "you're not going to distract me again Priestly, why don't you tell me about the club?"

When the older woman moved as though to release her hand, Andy tightened her grip slightly. "No, keep it there, I like it."

Miranda reacted to the mild command with a slight shiver. "Very well. As you could tell by some of the clientele, who I know you were eyeing by the way, it is a very exclusive club. It's designed as a place for women who wish to relax, or dine, in a discreet setting; to do so without worry of being unknowingly observed."

"Is it exclusively lesbian?"

"I cannot answer for anyone else as to their orientation, but a good proportion of the women who are members are indeed women who seek out the company of their own sex."

"So that brings me to you Miranda, are you a member?"

"No, I was there as a guest of a very dear friend of mine. However I may be finding myself inclined to become one in the future. Would you enjoy returning at some time?"

Andy was extremely curious and perhaps even a bit jealous of this friend, but didn't want to push. "Definitely; I really enjoyed myself. I appreciate that you trusted me enough to share it with me."

"There was never any question about trusting you. I believe I know you well enough to know that you would never do anything to betray that."

Andy brought their clasped hands up to her lips and gently brushed them against the other woman's knuckles eliciting the softest of sighs.

"When can I see you again Miranda?"

"Friday after school the girls leave to go to their father's for the weekend and I had plans only to work."

"Would you come to my apartment for dinner then?"

"I have a meeting with one of the board members that will run no later than seven. I probably wouldn't be able to make it until about eight thirty."

"That would work out fine as I probably won't finish until about six anyway. It'll give me time to throw some food together."

"So you know how to cook?"

"Remember that I dated a chef for four years, but even before then I was fairly competent in the kitchen. I love food, so it was natural that I learn how to make it properly, but I hope you won't be disappointed if it's not of the caliber of tonight's meal."

"Hardly my dear, I am just looking forward to spending more time with you."

Andy looked out the window and tried to figure out how much farther they had to go. The car had just passed 86th St. and traffic was moving fairly well; her heart sank. _Not much further then._

"What are you thinking Andrea?" Miranda's voice had dropped to a nearly indecipherable level.

"That I wish this night didn't have to end, but we're almost to my apartment. And…" She wriggled slightly in her seat and rubbed the flat of her free hand on her thigh. Miranda released her right hand.

"And…?"

That came from much closer and Andy turned and found herself staring into piercing blue eyes scant inches away. She closed the gap and allowed her lips to explore the welcoming softness, amazed at the passion she could feel simmering below the cool façade of the other woman.

They kissed leisurely for several moments and then Andy deepened it, caressing the other woman's tongue with her own; diving in, retreating and then repeating the process. They took a moment to breathe and Andy decided that she once again had to taste the inviting softness of Miranda's neck. She started just below her ear, sucking lightly and then flicking her tongue; she could feel the shivers course through the other woman and trailed the tip of her tongue along the artery. She swore she could feel the older woman's pulse through her tongue.

Miranda released a gasp as Andy danced magic down her neck. No one had ever paid such reverent attention to this part of her body and it set off tiny rivulets of energy from the top of her head down to her knees. _Oh my god, will I survive this woman?_

Needing to feel those wonderfully responsive lips yet again, Andy returned to nearly plunder her quarry. Neither women felt it as the car slowed down and then stopped, so deep was their involvement. She thought she heard a voice in the distance not unlike a radio announcer but discarded it as irrelevant. The car rocked slowly as Roy got out and the slamming of his door registered in Miranda's mind as something she should care about but she was too consumed with the taste and feel of her Andrea to let it disrupt this exquisite moment.

Andy shifted both of them so they were now turned into one another more completely and sifted her fingers through the impossibly soft hair as she returned once again to laying kisses along the smooth column of white. When she reached the collar of the silk white blouse she inhaled deeply and nudged the fabric away to lick the collarbone below.

"God Andrea, you have got to stop." Miranda brought both hands up from where they had been gripping the hips of the younger woman and buried them in her hair. When her words did not register she gathered large handfuls of hair and tugged gently. "Andrea." Her tone was a little sharper this time and deep pools of brown jerked up and stared dully at her. Full red and kiss dampened lips were parted as tiny gasps of air escaped.

"Miranda?"

"Andrea, I believe the car has stopped. We've arrived." It cost her dearly to continue to speak. "I do not believe that Roy is in the car."

Andrea released her hold on the other woman and slumped back in the seat.

"Holy fuck" the younger woman gasped as she looked over as Miranda attempted to straighten her hair and her blouse. "What you do to me."

Miranda stopped all motion and returned the stare. "And what you do to me."

"What day is today?" Andy nearly whined and then she pouted. "I have to wait until Friday to see you again?"

"Yes, unfortunately _**we**_ do. I'll be here at eight-thirty; don't prepare anything too elaborate I don't anticipate we'll be getting to it with any expediency."

With this she suddenly leaned across the space between them, kissed Andy one last time, hard, shoved her leather jacket and purse into her hands and then opened the car door, practically pushing her out. "Go."

Andy stumbled slightly and then straightened to her full height. She looked around at the nearly deserted street and spied Roy standing near the entrance to her building, smoking a cigarette, eyes staring in the opposite direction. Andy smiled at his discretion as she ran a hand through her hair.

She approached him as she fished her key out of her bag and managed an even, "Goodnight Roy." As she unlocked the security door with slightly trembling hands, she didn't look back.

Miranda watched the shadowy form of her soon to be lover move around the car and into the building then saw Roy drop his cigarette on the sidewalk and lightly step on it before she heard the car door open and felt as his weight settled into the driver's seat.

She shook her head at the audacity of it all; necking in the back seat of her car as if she was a juvenile. But she smiled, a full smile; she felt more alive than she had in years.

When they arrived back at her home some thirty minutes later she exited the car and stared him straight in the eye. She may have detected a slight smile in his eyes but his expression remained professionally neutral and he tipped his head at her in what seemed to be respect.

In a fit of sentimentality or maybe it was simple gratitude at all that the man had endured in her employ over the years, she wasn't entirely sure, Miranda quirked her lips. "I don't believe I've told you how much I appreciate your service to me Roy. Expect a raise in your next paycheck. That's all."

l l l l l l l

Andy tucked her pajama bottomed legs up under a soft throw her mother had sent her and adjusted her position on the sofa so she could more comfortably move the pen. It felt weird to write longhand; she hadn't written in her journal since, she looked back at the last entry, she had newly returned from Paris.

_If I wasn't so discombobulated from tonight's events I would probably take some time here to examine why I haven't written since leaving Miranda in Paris. Although it's probably all tied together as there are parts to myself that I am discovering I may well have wanted to just continue to ignore._

_Miranda Priestly, the woman who has haunted my dreams, wants me; Andy Sachs from Cincinnati, Ohio. Oh my god!_

_And I want her in a way I've never wanted anyone before in my life. Nothing could prepare me for how I feel when I'm in that woman's presence. I feel powerful and humbled all at the same time. It all adds up to a bunch of confusion. I pushed her into a corner tonight and almost._

_Ugh. What did I almost do? I'm too embarrassed to even write it down. Let's just say that I know what it was I almost did and she would have let me._

Andy dragged a trembling hand through her hair. She could feel the moisture gathering in between her legs; again.

_Jesus! What she does to me. But this, whatever this is or is going to be, will be difficult as Miranda all but told me that a relationship beyond the physical would not work for us. I think I kept it together though and I don't think she could tell that the thought of that devastates me. But I want to try, she is worth it and I think she's running scared, not like I'm an expert but I think she's just as scared as I am if not more._

l l l l l l l

Miranda had arrived home too late to see her girls, but she did stop to check in on each of them; giving a kiss on foreheads and adjusting covers. Now she sat in her study, The Book awaiting her attention. She looked at the clock and decided it could wait for a few minutes needing instead to commit some of her thoughts to paper.

She pulled out the elegantly sculpted leather bound journal; two of the journals always arrived at her house on the eve of the New Year, a gift from Ralph Lauren. The tradition had begun after the news of her pregnancy had made the rounds and it had been uninterrupted for going on thirteen years now. She smiled, for someone who ran an empire nearly as big as that of Miranda's he was a remarkably insightful and down to earth man.

She returned to the place that she had last written and opened the envelope that was her placeholder. Andrea's letter to her explaining her leaving; at the time it had generated more questions than it answered but now she could see it as if it was written in black and white. Andrea was drawn to her even then.

_I wrote several weeks ago that I was questioning my life and by doing so it seems that I invited the universe to respond. I am about to embark upon an affair that will significantly alter the fabric of my life and I can hardly summon the patience that I must somehow drudge up to wait the three days before I will see her again._

_I have built my life on patience for planning to reach the level I have attained in business has required that I spend much time waiting for all of the pieces to fall together. Now, I feel like when I was first starting out; buzzing with excitement as I climbed on the ferry leaving England, eager to discover a new world. _

_Affair. What a trivial assignation for my feelings are definitely beyond that of a mere dalliance. I am so conflicted, there is little chance for it to grow beyond the physical immediacy for one such as her would never truly be able to accept one such as myself. I am not a good person, but I cannot stay away from her. Someday she will recognize my failings and she will leave. In the meantime I will absorb all that I am able. She soothes me even as she arouses. She effortlessly controls me without even realizing it and, instead of railing at it, I love it. I have never experienced anything like it and my traitorous heart longs that I will never have to experience anything other, ever again._


	3. Chapters 7 thru 10

**It's the Only Life You've Got… Arc I  
>…so you better just live it<strong>

**Author: **raiderL  
><strong>Pairing: <strong>Miranda/Andrea  
><strong>Rating: <strong>M (or 18 or NC-17, take your pick)  
><strong>Summary:<strong> One year after leaving Runway Andy and Miranda meet up again and realize that there is an undeniable attraction between them. That they both know that the bond between them is more than merely physical doesn't mean there aren't roadblocks, namely Miranda's trust issues and her daughters' acceptance. **  
>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own the characters in created in either the book or the movie The Devil Wears Prada and I make no money off of this work of fan fiction. I am merely having fun, thinking "_What if?_" after the movie's end. Oh, there are a few characters in here that you may not recognize, they were created by me; please be kind and allow them to remain in their own little fantasy world.  
><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I have taken liberties with some of the supporting character histories, names and characterizations so that they serve my own purposes, some of them (like Miranda's ex-husband) are names used in other fan-fictions so I tip my hat to whoever may have used it first.**  
>Author's Note: <strong>_**Thank you to bearblue for her awesome beta work and encouragement!  
><strong>_**Archiving: **Only with permission of the author.

**Chapter Seven**

"Sachs." Andy's boss leaned on the doorframe of his office and attempted to get the attention of his best junior reporter. No answer. Having not seen her walk past his office to leave he knew she was still nearby so tried again in a slightly louder voice. "Sachs."

Mildly irritated, Greg headed over to the girl's cube. Andy sat at her desk, staring blankly past the screensaver on the flat screen monitor, a pen idly twirling between her fingers.

With an evil grin he barked. "**Sachs!**"

Andy started and the pen flew up and landed somewhere in the back corner of her desk.

"Jesus fuck, Greg! Why do you have to yell?"

Greg laughed, it was a rare thing to catch the young woman being anything, but hard at work. "Well if you'd get your head out of your ass and stop thinking about whatever tail's been chasing you I wouldn't have to." Andy had made no effort to hide that she was gay and conversely her co-workers had made no effort to care one way or the other.

"How do you know I wasn't daydreaming about winning the lottery and buying this rag out?" She smirked as he snorted.

"I dunno, maybe it's that single red rose in the fancy vase sitting next to your screen; the skyscraper heels you were wearing yesterday that screamed, 'date'; the fact that your head's been so far in the clouds that you wore two different shoes today?"

Andy rolled her chair back so fast she nearly toppled over; Doc Marten's left and right. She whipped her head back up and glared at him.

"Heh, made you look, which proves my point. Although, come to think about it, it could have been that chauffeured Mercedes that someone told me you climbed into last night. It might be twenty years since I courted my wife, but I know the signs."

Andy suddenly sobered, someone noticed her getting into the car and felt like they had to talk about it? She looked at her boss with new eyes; he very rarely engaged in small talk so why was he now? "Is there a point to this conversation boss?"

"There's always a point kid; people talk. Watch your back. Oh, and I just sent you my suggestion for edits on your last article. I want them in fifteen." With that he gave a little salute and sauntered back to his office leaving a discomfited Andrea with many things to think about.

l l l l l l l

"Do you think she's ill, Nigel?" Emily's sharp staccato preceded her into Nigel's office startling the editor enough that he bumped his forehead into the loop he was bent over. He opted to continue to look at the contact sheets, making notations with a wax pencil.

"Excuse me? Who?"

"Oh please, I'm not a blinking idiot, there's only one person worth taking up our precious time discussing and she's not been acting like herself!"

Nigel internally sighed, obviously the woman wasn't going away, and straightened then sat back on the high stool next to the light table.

"Okay, what is going on with Miranda?" He had a really good idea things were progressing nicely for the editor but couldn't very well comment on it.

"Haven't you noticed she hasn't been herself lately?" When the man continued to only look at her blankly she continued, exasperated. "She's been distracted, has placed several phone calls on her own and actually said 'Thank you' when the new girl placed the coffee next to her this morning!"

"So you naturally assumed she was ill." Nigel smirked.

"You are NOT helping! It's either that or she's…" Emily stopped.

Nigel waited a moment and then prompted her with a "Yes?" when nothing more was forthcoming; but he could see the wheels turning.

"Bloody hell! She's seeing someone isn't she?"

"Why would you presume that I would know anything of our illustrious leader's personal life Emily?"

"Niiiigeeeeellllll. You do know something. Spill."

"Oh come on now Emily, you of all people know that if I were to even suspect something, that speaking out of turn where Miranda's personal life is concerned would be suicidal on a good day."

"I'm not just anyone. I need to know what I'm dealing with here."

"No, you just need to do your job and let whatever happens, happen."

"See, you do know something!"

Nigel smiled at her and waved her away. "Go on, run along now."

"Nigel!"

l l l l l l l

"Emily."

The Brit moved efficiently from her desk and waited expectantly in front of her boss.

"I need the samples from that new designer to be delivered within the hour; move the run through up from 2:30 to 2:00; Patricia is at day-care and will need to be picked up by four; cancel my Saturday appointments, reschedule them for the following week or find some other way to deal with them and tell accounting that if I don't have the preliminary fiscal year reports for each of the other Elias-Clarke publications on my desk by tomorrow morning that we will be considering outsourcing the entire department. That's all."

_Bollocks! I know you never ask her anything but… _

Miranda continued to review the layout on her desk. "Why are you still here?"

"Saturday you were to meet with that designer…"

"Certainly by now you know better than to bore me with the details. Have you not worked for me long enough now to know what I find to be acceptable?"

"Do you mean I should go in your place?"

Miranda internally smirked at the uncharacteristic squeak that came from the flummoxed redhead. "Unless you are able to arrive at another method to accomplish the goal then I think the answer is self-evident." The silver head raised and blue eyes skewered her assistant and she added mildly. "If you don't think you can handle it."

"Oh! No! I mean, I would be…" The Brit floundered for another second and then pulled herself together. "Consider it done." She nodded once and then twirled and practically flew out of the room leaving a highly amused editor in her wake.

The chime of an incoming email drew her attention with a tiny spike of adrenalin. She had arranged for a little surprise to arrive at Andrea's place of employ and had yet to hear from the girl.

She was not disappointed now. From A. Sachs to M. Priestly with the subject line "Anonymous flower delivery"

_Miranda, thank you for the beautiful rose; I'm looking at it right now and remembering how you felt in my arms; you take my breath away. _

_Andrea _

_p.s. Saturday can't get here fast enough; when I see you I will not rest until I'm sure that every "request" made last night is fulfilled._

Miranda swallowed once and felt herself grow warm and swiftly moved the email into her personal folder. It wouldn't do for one of her assistants to happen upon it. She turned her chair towards the window and contemplated her response.

Emily was at her desk watching her boss uncharacteristically stare into space while swinging her chair gently side to side. As she had exited the office she heard the email notification and connected that whoever was courting the fashion queen was behind it. She had spent a few moments trying to figure out the mystery suitor's identity, but then remembered Nigel's admonishment. It was none of her business and she had more than enough on her plate. She thought about the executive's request that she attend the viewing in place of herself on Saturday and marveled at the wonder of it even as she was left scratching her head at the mystery. It was not lost on her that she was being given an incredible opportunity and she resolved to do the best job possible. She did not want to let Miranda down. The phone rang and broke her musing, and as she transferred it to the editor, she noted that her voice had startled the normally implacable woman.

It was two hours later that Miranda was finally able to type her response; she was poised to hit send but questioned whether or not it would be wise. It had crossed her mind that Andrea's email may be less secure than her own. So she instead pulled out her phone and opened a new text message. She fumbled through the keys as this was an activity she only undertook on occasion with her children and then she usually kept her responses to one or two words. Several minutes and more than a few frustrating missed keystrokes later (the editor refused to resort to that hideous shorthand that so many used when texting) she had transcribed her response; she tapped her phone on her chin for a moment before finally pressing the send button. No help for it now.

Andy heard the ringtones that indicated she had new text messages and was surprised to see both were from Miranda.

_I do not trust that your, or even my, email is safe from prying eyes until we discuss further._

_I would like for us to have no further contact until I arrive on Friday at 8:30. I can no longer abide this torturous verbal foreplay; being in your presence without knowing all of you or spending even a second longer in unfulfilled agony awaiting your touch is distracting to me. Emily thinks I have lost my mind. I know that I have lost my mind. _

_As for your promise, I will be ready for you as soon as I step through your door. Don't disappoint me._

Andy nearly dropped her phone and when she read the second she gaped.

_p.s. Nigel knows that we are going to try at "something" so if he should call you need not lie._

Adrenalin coursed through her body as the reality of it all came crashing in, Miranda was truly serious. About her. If she was telling someone that meant it was not something she was apt to just dismiss after getting off on her once. She pondered the "no contact" directive and would abide, but not without the last word.

Miranda smiled when her phone chimed several minutes after sending the text; of course she knew that Andrea would not be able to resist at least one more communication.

_You have yet to see "tortuous foreplay"; be forewarned, the moment you step through that door you will be at my mercy. _

_I will abide by your request; you will only see or hear from me in your dreams. Know you will be in mine._

Miranda had a sudden vision of marching over to Andrea's office and dragging the young temptress into a vacant conference room to have her right there. It took several intense minutes of anticipation and arousal warring with her work ethic before she was able to rein it in successfully. The challenge had been made now all she had to do was make it through two more days. _Give me strength. _

"Emily." Both assistant's heads shot up as Miranda's voice carried into the space between their desks. "Have new girl bring me a Starbucks, if she's not back in under twelve minutes, fire her." Miranda smiled as she heard a scrambling from the outer office and the distant sound of the back stairs door slam shut. _Hmm, there may yet be hope there._ "Get Patrick on the line and push the run through up yet another half hour. I want everyone in here in fifteen minutes. That's all."

**Chapter Eight**

Friday at six o'clock saw Andy at home instead of rushing around with last details. Her boss had kicked her out around four, telling her to not come back until Monday and to make sure that by then her head was adequately arranged back where it belonged.

The prior two nights had been a flurry of cleaning, shopping, rearranging furniture and, since Andy had never taken the time to hang artwork, arranging the final small touches that made it her home. All that had remained to be done was to pick up the groceries that needed to be fresh that day and since that did not take long she found herself with plenty of time now to prepare herself.

A full blown panic attack was nipping at her heels when her downstairs door buzzed at 6:30; knowing it was too early for the editor she was relieved to hear Lily's voice at the other end of the intercom and promptly let the woman in.

Lily, who as yet had to be informed of recent events in Andy's life crossed the threshold into a small entry way and stopped in her tracks. Her friend was one step away from melt-down.

"Andy, hey, I was coming back from one of the galleries a few blocks away and took a chance you might've got off work early. I was going to ask if you wanted to do something but I can see from the looks of things that you've got other plans. And from your hyper state," Andy hadn't stopped pacing around the apartment after she hung up Lily's coat. "I'd say that it's a big something and she's coming over." She grinned and snagged Andy's hand as she paced by, tugging her so she plopped down on the couch next to her. "Dish girl, who is she and why haven't I heard about her yet?"

Andy looked at her friend and willed her nerves to settle; this could be a little tricky as Lily had blamed Miranda for her break up with Nate for the longest time. That it had partially been the truth may now cause the ensuing conversation to be unpleasant.

"Lils." The African American woman sat up straighter and paid attention, Andy only ever used that variation of her name if it was serious and/or she was afraid of her reaction. "First of all, the reason I haven't told you about all of this was because it's only developed since Saturday and we've been playing phone tag all week. I really wanted to have this conversation in person." Andy jumped back up and started pacing again. "Uh," She ran a hand through her hair and tried to figure out the best place to start; a part of her noticed that at least she was distracted from her panic of the upcoming rendezvous/date.

"Jesus, Andy, you're acting like I'm going to roll up a newspaper and beat you with it. We're cool, remember? Nothing's going to come between us again, okay?"

Andy stopped and stared at her friend intently. "Nothing? Okay, I have met someone, or, more accurately, met someone again that I knew in the past in a completely different context. We ran into one another at Nigel's party the other night."

"So, Doug met her then? Damn, I wish I would have been able to make that."

"Well," She let it go unsaid that it was probably better that Lily wasn't there. "… at the party it was pretty apparent to both of us that there was a lot left unsaid from when we last saw one another, particularly with regards to the fact that we both could not stop thinking about the other and that there was this powerful mutual attraction. We ended up going to dinner on Tuesday and that went so well that she's coming here tonight and my cooking skills will definitely not be the center of attention if you get what I mean."

"Oh my god! Is it that hot Brazilian chick from Runway? I mean it's someone from when you worked at the magazine, right? It was Nigel's party after all."

"You mean Emily's Serena? Oh hell no, Emily would find a way to track me down and make my life a living hell. There is some serious domestic bliss between those two. You are right though, it is someone from Runway."

Lily looked at her quizzically for a moment and then with dawning horror "Andy, please, please tell me that who I'm thinking ain't what you're gonna be doin'!"

Andy just sat there with a dreamy smile. "Oh Lils, you have no idea."

"Miranda Fucking Priestly? Are you out of your freakin' mind?"

Andy placed her hands over her ears and scowled, she'd never heard her friend hit a note quite like that one before. "Lily, Lils. Listen to me. Yes, Miranda Fucking Priestly, who, when she's not in her Dragon Lady persona is a completely different person. I can't even begin to describe it; she's…"

Lily cut her off. "Oh Andy, this is so much worse, you're in love with her!"

"Lily, wait."

"Jesus Andy, how long has this been going on? Is that really why you and Nate broke up? Did you and the Ice Queen get it on?"

Andy had no patience for where this was going and exploded. "Godammit Lily! That's enough!"

Lily stopped mid-rant and stared at her friend.

"I am only going to say this once. What you've seen is what it's been. Yes I've had feelings for the woman for a long time, but I didn't know what to call it then and it's taken me a long time to really admit to myself what I truly feel for her, but nothing ever happened while I worked for her. I look back now and can see that she's why I finally came out to myself. And now we have a chance to have something that, while it may not be conventional, has the potential to be really amazing."

"Andy, can't you see she's probably just using you? That woman only thinks about herself; she's going to chew you up and spit you out."

"Lily, no, she's not and she won't. She is a warm, generous, incredibly sexy woman who is giving me a very special gift." She decided that now was not a good time to go into the doubts she had about the other woman's ability to not run scared.

Lily just sat there shaking her head.

Andy softened her voice. "Look, I know it's a lot to take in, but I'm a big girl, I know my heart and my heart is choosing Miranda." She glanced at the clock, 7:05. "Lily, she's going to be here in about an hour and fifteen minutes and I still need to get ready. I don't have time to process any more with you. Are we okay?"

"Damn it, Andy." She shook her head and looked at her friend. "You never can take the easy road can you?"

Andy just laughed; she didn't know the half of it.

"It's going to take me a while to adjust to all this; it's a lot to take in you know? I mean the woman was hell on earth when you worked for her, that's all I know of her."

"I know Lils, but it's really important to me that you try."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Before Lily stood up. "I know you need to get ready, so I'm going to go." She gave her best friend a hug. "Just be careful alright? Don't let her push you around."

Andy gave her one of her megawatt smiles, "I won't, like I told you, she's completely different from her work persona. We actually talk and listen to one another; it's cool. She's cool and you'll get to meet her at some point; when you're ready, alright?"

"Yeah, Andy, alright. Have fun tonight, I hope it goes the way you want."

As Andy closed and locked the door she realized that the nerves she was experiencing before Lily arrived had completely disappeared, replaced by a confidence that left her feeling like she could do anything. She knew exactly the clothes to match.

l l l l l l l

At precisely 8:20 the downstairs buzzer rang, Andy hit the door release and straightened her blouse over the black La Perla camisole she had worn to the party although this time, without the bra.

Miranda had put down a challenge to the younger woman and she thought she understood; as long as Andy behaved in a manner true to herself, the other woman would be accepting.

Andy looked around her apartment. The living room was lit with only a small table lamp in the corner and several candles burned on the coffee table and on the gas fireplace mantle. The seating area surrounded the coffee table on three sides and was comprised of the sofa she had purchased after her first raise and two used, stuffed armchairs that, while they had seen better days, were comfortable. She had left the light over the range in the kitchen on, its soft glow barely perceptible.

A bottle of Pinot Gris sat in a chiller on the coffee table, an empty glass and her own, half full, sitting next to it. Understanding that the other woman would probably not have eaten since lunch, she had arranged a few protein-laden hors d'oeuvres, strawberries and grapes on a small plate to be easily consumed.

Not wanting to go too overboard, Andy had arranged several candles in her bedroom, but had left them unlit opting instead for the soft light on her bedside stand. The Stickley Harvey Ellis queen-sized bedframe that she had purchased with the money her parents had given her as a housewarming gift was adorned by a new down comforter with a soft cotton cover in a deep burgundy. The color nicely offset the cream colored walls and lent an inviting warmth to the room, while tying in to one of the colors of the barely worn oriental rug that partially covered the wood floor; found on one of her garbage picking runs on the Upper East Side.

A light knock brought her out of her reverie and she opened the door.

l l l l l l l

Miranda paced the elevator as it made its slow trek upwards. She detested small spaces and the contraption was adding to the anticipation that had been building since she awoke that morning and not in a pleasant way. It lurched to a stop and she sent a prayer to the cosmos that it had arrived at its destination and had not in fact gotten stuck between floors. Her relief was palpable when the thick metal door sluggishly pulled open to reveal a dimly lit hall with overly worn carpet.

Adjusting her dove gray Donna Karan overcoat she strode towards the front of the building where Andy's apartment door beckoned. Three long days and even longer nights had passed since she had seen the girl and her desire had only strengthened in intensity. She only hoped that she would be able to conduct herself with some measure of civility.

The editor knocked lightly and was gratified that she did not have long to wait for the door opened after only seconds. A revelation stood on the other side and the older woman felt as if all the air from the room had been sucked out leaving a perfect vacuum. Andrea Sachs had definitely dressed for success.

**Chapter Nine**

The two women stood immobile, eyes feasting, for several seconds until Andy's inner hostess kicked in. "Miranda." She all but whispered the name as she stepped aside to allow room for the other woman to pass. Her eyes drank in every detail of the sophisticated woman before her, including the sway of sexy hips. "Here, let me take your coat." Miranda set a small bag and her purse onto the floor and shrugged out of the coat with Andy's help. While Andy arranged it on a hanger and placed it into a small hall closet the fashion executive ventured into the living room taking in the eclectic but pleasing arrangement of the space.

"You have a very good eye Andrea and the space suits you. It's warm and comfortable" She turned and looked over the young reporter's outfit; pitching her voice an octave lower. "And very inviting."

Andrea made her way over to the other woman, "I could say the same about you, that dress is, well, wow would be a good word for it." The silver haired woman still wore what she had worked in all day; a dress from the Chanel fall line featuring material woven in a small pattern of gray, black and a light lilac. It was tailored to fit her form and the skirt flared out slightly from the waist to just above her knee. The sleeves gained in volume until they puffed out at the wrist, capped by a three inch cuff of lilac and purple stripes. A chrome zipper rode from the top of the high collar all the way down to the middle of the chest and was left barely zipped, revealing just the hint of lace cupping the swells of flesh that moved nearly hypnotically with each breath.

Andy cleared her suddenly dry throat. "Have a seat, would you like some wine?"

The older woman was having her own moment as she took in the outfit that Andy sported; a near replica from that of Nigel's party. Only this time, instead of the Chanel jacket there was a filmy merlot colored blouse, unbuttoned, that draped invitingly over the camisole. The camisole itself was made of black silk and covered little of Andrea's assets.

Miranda licked her lips and nearly purred. "Yes, thank you." She continued the perusal of her former assistant, the leather mini, the black stockings held up by a black garter the snaps of which slipped just below the skirt's hemline every time the younger woman moved. Andrea was a vision and she was going to be hers; the editor raised her glass in a slight salute and sipped, pleasantly surprised by the flavor.

Andy leaned over and scooped up one of several tiny sandwich-like creations and held it up for Miranda's perusal. "I wasn't sure if you would have had time to eat anything since lunch; tell me Miranda" as she moved the bite towards the editor's mouth, "are you hungry?" She then held her bottom lip with her teeth and looked up through her lashes.

Blue-gray eyes, shading more to blue now, were mesmerized by the dark brown orbs and the woman unconsciously parted her lips. Taking that as a yes, the younger woman gently held the treat to her lips and Miranda had to lean forward slightly to bite down. A burst of flavor elicited a slight moan that Andy felt all the way down to her toes. She grabbed a red grape as she scooted closer to the other woman and gently rolled it against the silver-haired woman's lips before delicately pushing it in, allowing her finger to be sucked gently before moving away and reaching for another. The process was repeated until the small platter was empty save for some of the fruit.

Andy shifted so she sat back on the deep couch and crossed her legs, one thigh high boot planted firmly on the floor, the other swinging gently. She traced a light pattern on the back of the other woman's hand as they each sipped from their wine.

Finally her patience was at its end; she uncrossed her legs and tugged at the hand she had been petting. "Come here, straddle me."

The older woman stood, never breaking eye contact, and kicked off her four inch Christian Lou's. She placed one knee on the outside of her soon to be lover's thigh and repeated with the other before sliding forward until both knees hit the back cushion; she settled her body down, skirt fluttering loosely so her firm ass rested on the younger woman's thighs, the edge of leather from Andrea's boot-tops creating a very distracting sensation.

Andy felt the slight weight of the other woman settle on her and she brought her hands around so that they lightly caressed the woman, shoulder to butt. She reached up to run long fingers through the mesmerizing silver and with no warning pulled her down into a kiss fueled by the seemingly endless days of denial. Andy's eyes fluttered shut and she reveled in the exploration of that exquisite mouth, so often in the past the bearer of pain, now only sweet, absolute surrender. Their tongues rolled and caressed, lips nibbled and sucked; hard, fast, soft, slow and push/pull harmony not unlike a ballet.

Miranda had also found good use for her hands, sifting through the thick cascade of brown waves as if her fingers were memorizing every silky strand. Their kiss continued to build, continued to explore new ways of continuing the dance. Andy found that if she sucked and bit gently at the older woman's lower lip that her entire body would shudder and she would roll her hips downward, creating a wonderful friction. _More._

Andy's hands sought to help those hips with their movement and she gripped the mesmerizing ass through the dress. This only satisfied her for a moment and she internally clenched, growing wetter if that was even possible, when she realized that the older woman had followed her directive to wear something far more accessible than her last garment. She made eye contact with the editor as she pulled back from their kiss, greeted by the normally clear eyes made slightly unfocused from her growing arousal.

"Oh Miranda, what you do to me." Andy moaned and raised her head to feast on the soft skin behind the woman's ear while moving her hands to the edge of the hem of the cooperative dress. Slowly, mimicking the movement of her tongue as it travelled down the slope of the elegant column of white, she moved her hands along the stocking clad thighs until she met the edge of silk. Finding the snaps of the garter she fingered them idly then ran her hands over the elastic, following the paths on either side where they hugged the soft skin of the firm globes. Once again, no panties impeded her exploration and Andy felt within her the curiosity that was sparked the other night suddenly erupt into a jet blue flame; she urgently needed to know what else lay beneath and pushed the skirt upwards until her eyes feasted on glistening silver curls unfettered by any material.

That vision finally loosed the inexplicable beast within her and a noise erupted from her throat that sounded at once like a growl and a moan; in one fluid movement she lifted the dress up and over Miranda's head, holding her arms back for a moment before releasing the material she pushed her head forward and licked each hardened nipple once, through the lace of her bra, with the flat of her tongue. The older woman gasped and shuddered and Andy's sense of smell detected the effect she was having. As her hands made the return trip over the compactly exquisite body above her, she unhinged the clasps of the nearly non-existent lingerie; leaving the older woman completely exposed, save for garter and stockings, to Andrea's unwavering stare.

The older woman was now leaning forward, grasping at Andy's shoulders and trying to position herself to bring her aching center into contact with some part, any part of Andy's anatomy that could quench the fire raging through ever nerve ending in her body. But Andy was not ready for that just yet, oh no, she had promised. She stilled all movement by gripping pale, trembling thighs and pushing outwards, effectively opening the usually so controlled and proper editor up wider while at the same time holding her in place. She tilted her head up and stared hard.

Miranda whimpered and panted out a single word. "Please."

Andy smirked as she held firm, enjoying the power she felt over the other woman's pleasure. "Please what, baby?"

A part of Miranda's brain railed at an endearment so pedestrian even as her body betrayed its response.

Andy parted her own legs wider, forcing the other woman into a full spread, but stopping at just the edge of what looked like it would cause pain. Her right hand left its hold on the silk clad thigh accompanied by a single command. "Don't move."

She reached between the juncture of the incredibly toned thighs, muscles that should soon be reaching their limit to hold weight, and dragged a finger through the moisture found there. Unable to help herself she slid one finger abruptly into the heat of the hyper aroused core and just as suddenly removed it. She raised her eyes beneath long lashes and affected her most innocent look and then raised that finger to her lips where the tip of her tongue ventured out to take a single swipe. _Oh, she tastes like nothing I've ever tasted before, clean and sharp._ It was a heady feeling to finally know and she wanted to share so she returned to the copious moisture and gathered more, tantalizing the completely gone woman who could now only squirm and moan; still attempting to gain closer contact, anything to alleviate the throbbing ache and stem the flow of liquid that utterly betrayed the effect this devastating creature had on her. Instead her tormentor removed the stimulus and raising the soaked digit to the older woman's lips she tugged at the kiss swollen bottom lip and pushed into the warm cavity of her mouth delighting as she felt the other woman suck and pull and wrap her tongue removing every trace.

The older woman released her tormentor's finger and begged yet again. "Please!"

This time Andrea deemed it was time to heed the call and she moved her hand to barely cup the dripping heated core of the most exquisite woman she had ever seen. "Please what, Miranda?"

It was nearly a cry, the woman was so beyond the need for release that she didn't even hesitate and in a voice so hoarse and desperate that Andy barely recognized save for its raspy intensity, begged. "Please fuck me, goddammit! Just fuck me!"

Andy wasted no more time and plunged two fingers in at the same time as she gripped her ass and brought her down hard, impaling her. She moved the woman up and down adding a third finger as she felt the other woman loosen further. "Fuck yes! Don't stop." Unable to resist the incredibly firm breasts perfectly positioned in front of her lips she sucked a nipple deep into her mouth, creating a firm suctioning that made the older woman gasp and moan even louder. When she released it, she was met with a cry of dismay until she enveloped the other and repeated the process.

Andy increased the tempo and the older woman adjusted, riding her hard, slamming into each thrust; a torrent of "aaahs" kept pace and increased in intensity until finally Andy touched her thumb to Miranda's clit and released her from her torment. Miranda orgasmed in a crescendo of cries and then, much to the younger woman's surprise, fell forward and bit her shoulder muscle just below the neck as she continued to spasm in ecstasy sending Andy over the edge with her; "Miranda!" sharp and loud from her lips.

They remained in that position for several moments, Andy's fingers still buried deep within as Miranda's limp form draped completely over Andy's still seated position on the couch. Ever mindful of the beautiful woman's comfort, she gently pulled out and then rolled until the older woman was on her back, enveloped by the sofa's many cushions. Long minutes passed as both women took deep ragged breaths, hearts hammering wildly. Andy kissed and licked at the sweaty flesh beneath her, nibbling occasionally. "Miranda you are a wonder." When the older woman failed to respond it prompted the younger woman to look up. The editor's eyes were closed and breathing was still slightly erratic, but she could tell there was something more going on, she had yet to open her eyes and her jaw seemed somewhat tense.

"Miranda, hey, look at me." Andy positioned herself so she was the one now on her knees, but both were centered between the older woman's. She leaned over and supporting herself on her elbows, brushed some of the sweat dampened hair from the editor's face.

Miranda was in hiding. Well as much of hiding as one could get while nearly completely naked and spread out beneath another human being after having just completely lost all control of herself. Warmth suffused her face as she recalled just how wantonly she behaved and she closed her eyes once again and raised a shaky hand to massage her forehead.

Andy watched emotions flit across the older woman's face, growing concerned that she may somehow have hurt the other woman; but then she saw a tinge of red spread across pale cheeks and understood. _Can't have any of that._

"Miranda, baby, you felt so good around my fingers. So wet." Still fully dressed she removed her blouse and tossed it in the general location of one of the armchairs not caring if it made it. Then the younger woman settled in, lowered her voice to a lilting whisper and punctuated her words with a slow building friction, "So very wet." as she slid her leather clad hips against the still moist core. "So open for me, I know you loved it, you sucked me so deep inside."

She trailed her tongue down the woman's neck, continuing over her collarbone and along the gentle slope of a breast barely affected by age. She took the nipple in her mouth pulling lightly at it with her teeth and then licking lightly while her hand slid across the toned abs and began to play in once again copious moisture. "And I loved it; how your beautiful body rocked against me, used me to gain your pleasure." She slid two fingers into the editor whose eyes had snapped open and were now riveted on Andy's own. "Oh god Miranda, can you feel me in you again? I can't get enough of you." She sucked hard at the woman's nipples, alternating sides while she lazily pumped her fingers. "I can hear how wet you are. I can smell you."

The fashion editor's embarrassment dissipated with each word uttered by the younger woman, replaced again by a ravenous hunger that was nowhere near slaked. She marveled at the wonder of her responsiveness and at the skill of the woman above her to make her so. She watched, as each time the younger woman slid inside her, the firm breasts barely hidden beneath the black La Perla, flexed and swayed invitingly. She realized that she had an intense need to both see and feel what was so tantalizingly offered. But when she reached up to slide the spaghetti straps down over smooth white shoulders Andy resisted. The wonderful filling of her center was removed leaving her bereft at the emptiness. Then her wrists were grabbed and forced down to her sides, one hand sticky; she could feel the pruned skin of Andy's finger pads from having been in the wetness of her for so long. This realization created another cascade of pleasure and the resulting ripple sent a trickle of her juices sliding down the crease of her thigh and onto the throw beneath her. She moaned.

"Andrea."

At least Andy thought it sounded like her name, it could have been simply a long "aaaaaahhhh," but it didn't matter, she was positioned in such a way as to take full advantage of the mouth-watering sight below her. Still holding the editor's wrists in place Andy slithered her body lower until her mouth was poised over the quivering flesh. She inhaled deeply and beamed up at the woman who had stilled considerably and was watching Andy with what seemed trepidation. "Miranda" she exhaled and the puff of breath caused the other woman to squirm.

Miranda was deeply conflicted about what Andrea was about to do as she never had been one for oral sex. Her husbands had always expected it to be performed but, with the exception of her second husband, whose technique left much to be desired, were hesitant to return the favor. So she stopped asking, knowing that it was probably just too much to expect as obviously that part of her anatomy was not something to be desired up close and personally. So here she was now, much to her horror and arousal, watching as this young woman approached her like she was the finest dessert offered at a five star restaurant.

"Miranda, I'm going to fuck you with my tongue, would you like that?"

A long moan that seemed to originate from the very center of her being was all the response offered and Andy, victory in hand, flattened her tongue and swept boldly from the opening of the editor's core all the way up to her clit.

Andy was lost in the taste and smell and reaction to her pleasurable assault, this woman was amazing and she could feel her own wetness increase. Needing some contact for her aching clit Andy shifted so she was straddling one of the older woman's legs and pressed into her knee. "Ooooohh." Andy moaned, sending sound waves through the older woman's clit that she felt vibrated all the way to her brain.

"Andrea, oh god, Andy!" Miranda gripped the soft fleece blanket below her hands as Andy's continued their hold of her wrists and arched her back higher, forcing her painfully erect clit into her partner's mouth. She was rewarded with a sucking motion that continued for a period of what could have been seconds, minutes or hours. Tongue and teeth nipping, sucking, laving attention on the little bundle and the sensitive folds surrounding it. Miranda was nearing her second release of the evening when all of the sudden; nothing. She desperately whispered, "Andrea, please don't stop."

Voice hoarse the brunette directed. "Keep your hands where they are, I'm going to release you, but don't move." Andy's hands then joined the activity, spreading her lips, and providing the stimulation she so desired. Fingers that lightly pushed, prodded and spread while a questing tongue sought out the well of moisture, driving in as deeply as possible, pulling out, swirling around and plunging back in. A rhythm was joined as the two women slid together, Andy's skirt pushed up by the stocking clad knee, her wetness ruining the black silk in her quest for more contact.

Andy's eyes traveled up the delicious landscape of the silver-haired goddess's body completely given over to the sensations wrapping in and around her and she felt tears gather at the beauty. She plunged her tongue in one final time and rubbed the nub just so, tearing a strangled cry from her lover that pushed her over the edge as well. She collapsed on top of the editor's lower body and circled her arms around and behind her hips, pulling her closer to her while she rested her cheek on a still quivering thigh. Unable to help herself she rolled forward slightly and swiped her tongue through the matted curls. Another series of trembles greeted her as she lightly sucked at the bundle of nerves that had immediately stiffened, and after several seconds of her tongue licking at its base she had the woman crying out again as she reached yet another peak.

Weak hands pushed at her forehead; "Please, no." Her voice faltered and Andy watched as she wet her lips with her tongue. "No more, I can't take it."

Miranda barely recognized herself as she returned from an endorphin laden bliss state so profound she wondered if she would ever find her normal self or if normal for her had been forever changed. All traces of embarrassment and self-doubt had been seared away in the bright sun of Andrea's obviously whole-hearted enjoyment of her. And, she gazed down at the stunning beauty now resting again against her thigh, she's not even undressed yet! _Unacceptable_. But she would need a few minutes before she was in any shape to do anything about it so she contented herself with gently running her hand through her conqueror's thick hair; a light hum of contentment on her lips.

l l l l l l l

They lay together in a tangle for an indeterminate time, caught in a quiet lassitude. Miranda stirred first, needing to use the restroom in a quite urgent way. She gently guided the brunette's head away from her stomach and slid her legs around so she could stand. She gazed down at the younger woman whose eyes were heavy with a longing that, despite their activities, seemed only to intensify. "I'll be right back."

Miranda made her way on shaky legs to a doorway that she assumed led to the bath. While taking care of her screaming bladder she noticed the ruined state of her stockings and shook her head yet again at her wantonness. Instead of slamming herself with recriminations she flashed back to an image of Andrea in ecstasy as she rode her knee and noted that arousal was once again rising. Deciding they were a total loss she unclipped the hose and removed the garter belt, hanging it over the doorknob and then removed the silk, balling them up and tossing them into the small wastebasket. She moved to the sink to wash her hands but stopped all movement with a gasp as she caught sight of herself in the mirror, stunned at the vision she presented.

Gone was the icily controlled façade that the fashion editor and newly minted CEO presented to the world. In her place was a woman with glowing eyes and high color, hair askew and still slightly damp from her exertions. She noted a couple of tiny bruises on the side of her breast, close to her nipple; that nipple hardened as she remembered the younger woman's enthusiastic worshipping that sent tingles throughout her body even now. Her makeup was still remarkably intact, except for her lipstick, so she left it alone and attempted to order her hair; she shrugged after several seconds of only marginal success, it would have to do. Looking around she spied a thin silken robe hanging from the back of the door and decided that she didn't want to waltz around the apartment naked so donned it, but opted to leave it open, the draft creating a luscious wanton feeling that she was beginning to think would be permanently imprinted upon her.

She peeked briefly into the bedroom on her way back out to Andrea and noted the comfort of it. Everything about the younger woman's space spoke of warmth and welcoming reflecting back perfectly some of what, Miranda thought, were Andrea's best qualities. The editor realized she felt at home after only being there, she glanced at the clock on the cable box, a little over two hours. But then she was beginning to truly understand that as long as Andrea was present in her life that she would be happy anywhere. _Happy?_ Her guarded self hit the brakes, confounded.

But still, it could not be denied, a minor miracle had entered into Miranda's life and at this moment, if she had to classify it and despite the guarded reserve still wrapping it, this felt suspiciously like happy.

She returned to the living area and paused to stare at the vision before her lounging peacefully, still in the same place as when she left although the young woman was now on her back and her leather encased legs were draped at the knee over the side of the couch. This brought her skirt up to a nearly impossible height and the older woman spied that she was not the only one who had chosen to eschew an extra layer of fabric below the garter. Her brain nearly disconnected at the shadowy reveal but then she shook herself; she had yet to touch the younger woman and Miranda resolved to not relinquish her power this time. It was Andy's turn and Miranda wanted to play.

Puzzling over what to do first she decided that those leather boots, luscious as they were, needed to go. Moving towards the end of the couch she lightly pushed Andy's dangling legs apart and slid between them until the arm of the sofa was snug against her groin. _Hmmm, that could come in handy_, she mused. Miranda trailed her hands slowly up the leather searching for the zipper, when she reached the top of the boot she slid her fingers between skin and silk and leather and her eyes dilated with the tactile sensation. She tugged lightly at the zip eliciting a slight moan and the older woman looked up into dark eyes watching her intently. She resumed her task and found that she had to use both hands as the leather was so very soft and didn't want to yield its hold on the shapely legs. Progress was slow and punctuated by several gasps from the woman below her as the increasingly aroused editor caressed every inch of revealed silk-clad skin until the boot relinquished. Triumphant the older woman tossed the boot carelessly to the side more intent upon the now cooling skin of the seemingly endless silk clad leg. Massaging and nipping, every touch from fingers mapping the landscape below or of teeth and tongue that pulled at fabric and left dampness in their wake, elicited strangled moans. As she repeated the process with the other leg the editor marveled at the wonder of creating so much pleasure for another human being.

After tossing the second boot Miranda leaned further over the end of the couch and reached for the snaps of the garters. She was startled when a hand gripped her own and held it in place for a moment and then her young lover directed. "Miranda, I need you now." The hand then pushed her upwards towards the juncture of the long legs until she could just feel the moisture and heat.

But that was not how the older woman intended to proceed; she wanted the younger woman hot and messy and begging to be fucked so she pulled her hand away and said in her most authoritative voice. "Patience Andrea. You must learn patience." The young woman whimpered once but acquiesced and the editor rewarded her with that shark-like grin. "I'll make it worth your while. You'll see."

And so she returned to her task with renewed languor, relishing the momentary victory. She returned to the snap of the garters and expertly released both legs in a matter of seconds. This did not fail to elicit another groan from the squirming woman below her.

Slowly, oh so slowly she rolled the black silk, repeating her earlier stimulation of fingers, tongue and teeth only now it was bare skin that was nipped and licked and smoothed. When at last the thin material was removed the older woman marveled at the perfect foot and toes revealed and could not resist nibbling at the ankle. Sensing the increase in respiration she noted the location for further exploration at a later date; her quarry was growing more restless.

Indeed, when at last the other stocking was removed Andrea seemed no longer content to wait for her pleasure and removed her legs from her tormentors grasp, swinging them around so that she was now in a sitting position on the couch. "Come here Miranda."

The older woman obeyed but only because it suited her. "Andrea, I need to see you." She reached for the hem of the La Perla camisole, the younger woman more than cooperative. She pushed the material up, revealing a toned abdomen and a slightly rounded belly that sloped invitingly down into the black leather skirt that still hugged at those wonderful hips. Grasping the hem with both hands she pulled the material up and over Andrea's head but instead of removing it she used the sudden quiescence of the younger woman's arms to push them down behind her back, the silken material entangled and preventing movement.

"Miranda! What?" Her words were swallowed by a kiss that pushed hard at her lips. And the younger woman found herself forced back into the cushions with even less leverage.

"Enough of the talking." The editor trailed her lips down across the now trembling jaw, murmuring softly as she nibbled. "Always talking Andrea, please," she stopped at the juncture of neck and collarbone and spent a moment laving the skin with the flat of her tongue dancing that tongue towards an impossibly hard nipple. She sucked in a steadying breath and murmured, "Bore someone else with your questions." Then bit down lightly on the protruding nub sucking powerfully, creating a pinching sensation that sent Andy's hips skyward. "Aaahh!"

But Miranda was ready, having positioned herself snugly between the girl's legs, hands pressed lightly to the shifting muscles of those wonderfully toned thighs so she need only press harder when escape was attempted. "Oh, no. You are going to sit there and take it, do you hear me?" The assault continued for long minutes, Miranda licking and nibbling back and forth between nipples, hands trailing up and down thighs and ribs and even toned calves as she pulled one of the younger woman's legs up so her foot rested on the sofa cushion.

"Andrea." Miranda pulled back a few inches staring intently into the lust-drunk brown eyes. "I'm going to move a bit, will you stay put for me darling?"

Andy shivered with the endearment and exhaled. "Yes, Miranda."

The older woman nodded once and grabbed one of the cushions, threw it down at her feet and then dropped unceremoniously to her knees all the while trying not to think about the fact that she had never done this before. Surely this could not be any more difficult than what she did with men.

She then dragged the other woman forward and shoved that leather mini up revealing the full scope of the beauty beneath her. Reminiscent of her dream, the dark curls were soaked with copious moisture; hands slid up the supple skin to stop just below the juncture, pushing the thighs ever wider. What her dream did not prepare her for was the mix of aromas; she breathed in deeply, finding instead of an unpleasantness to be endured, a scent that twittered along all of her senses; her mouth watered and her sex clenched. Without further preamble she leaned in and drove her tongue straight into the source of her Andrea's need prompting a loud keening sob that nearly caused the silver haired woman to orgasm. _Mmm, this is Andrea; my Andrea, a feast in every sense!_

She pumped in and out and then flattened her tongue and swept up and down covering every millimeter of sensitive flesh as she replaced her tongue with two fingers, pushing harder and faster with each building groan of pleasure.

When she knew that the girl was close she backed off just enough to keep her from cumming. Sweeping her tongue everywhere but where it was most needed the older woman noted a shiver and additional moisture as she unintentionally grazed the nether opening. Returning her attentions to the erect nub she allowed the knuckles of the hand not fucking the girl to press against the puckered flesh content for the time being to only provide extra friction and sensation without penetration. That extra stimulus brought a new wave of trembling in the body below her and with a few more thrusts and swipes of her tongue Miranda felt the entirety of Andrea's sex spasm as the younger woman tumbled into her bliss with a loud entreaty to the heavens.

**Chapter Ten**

Miranda awakened with a slow awareness of her surroundings. The bed was not her own but it was comfortable; she was lying on her back, which was unusual; she wasn't on her usual side of the bed and a brunette head was nestled up next to her left side which, while the woman was breathtaking and almost unbearably lovely in sleep, effectively pinned the older woman's left arm between them; she could feel the pins and needles as she carefully tried to wriggle her fingers.

Loathe to move the sleeping beauty, the silver haired editor remained quietly in place studying the way the light coming in from the partially closed curtains highlighted the curve of the younger woman's bare back and shoulder. She shivered slightly as she realized that the duvet was nowhere to be seen, probably kicked off at some point in their enthusiasm; indeed, it was amazing that Andrea wasn't covered in goose bumps as only the sheet covered her and even then only midway up the perfect smooth skin of her back.

Something within the older woman shifted and unsettling emotions deepened and became more frighteningly real. She knew that she had felt love for this young woman, but to this point she had allowed herself to believe that the depth of it was something she could control. She was realizing that she could control nothing about this at all and grew uncertain. She thought again of those things about herself that were unknown to Andrea, that if, although given the intensity of this relationship it was really only a matter of when, revealed would probably mean the end of this wonderful, unexpected joy.

A draping of intense melancholy shifted her inward focus, if she couldn't have this then she wanted to forever keep this scene alive, this perfect morning, and set about committing the entire scene to memory. She remembered then that she had her sketchbook in her overnight bag, and her resolve to remain wavered. She didn't want to wake the other woman but…She stretched slowly and the motion caused her young lover to shift slightly, allowing her to disengage and sit up. She turned to look back, ensuring that the woman had not awakened, Andrea's breathing seemed to have only deepened; the miracle of her life slept on, unaware of the waking world around her. She wasn't even aware that the pure enjoyment of the moment had curbed her negative thoughts considerably.

_Oh my god._ Her thigh muscles complained vociferously as they flexed to stand. It seemed that nearly every muscle in her body had some sort of complaint and she groaned. _I'm going to have to add hours to my workout routine if I am to have any hope of keeping this up._ She thought back to the activities engaged in to the early hours and smiled, a full, beaming smile. Oh yes, most definitely indeed did she want to keep it up.

A brief stop in the bathroom found the older woman once again regarding herself in the mirror. She had removed her makeup before retiring some point in the early hours of the morning. She spared a few moments of worry that in the harsh light of day the younger woman would finally recognize the true ordinariness of her finely lined face and regret her involvement with someone obviously so past her prime, now that the initial prize had been won. The deep sadness of a few moments earlier returned to seep into her heart, but this time before it could grow roots the woman pulled upon her formidable will, shaking herself free. _It's too late now, what's done is done and it is a beautiful morning following a night I wouldn't trade for all the material goods in my possession. _That knowledge momentarily settled the building battle within and she went in search of where she left her bag.

Upon entering the living area she had to stop a sudden bark of laughter at her couture which lay mangled and dangling from one of the stuffed arm chairs, unable to find it in herself to care. Andrea's boots were strewn across the floor and she spied the La Perla where it had settled next to the coffee table, no doubt forever ruined; the editor shivered, remembering the sound of tearing silk accompanying the younger woman's peaking cries.

She found her bag and fished out her sketch pad and a slim leather pencil case then turned towards the kitchen, hopeful that some form of acceptable coffee would be found.

She was pleasantly surprised to find an espresso machine, not terribly expensive but enough so to contain a built-in grinder, loaded with fragrant dark beans. She decided upon an Americano mindful that the noise steaming milk would create might wake her slumbering lover. She had spied one of those in-sink hot water taps that would provide just the perfect temperature.

Giant mug in hand Miranda headed back to the bedroom. She stopped in the doorway and took in the lay of the room, looking for the perfect vantage point. A cozy, slightly shabby, overstuffed chair tucked into the corner next to one of the windows looked like it would do quite nicely and she settled in. She savored her coffee for several minutes, studying the shadows, lines and forms that comprised the younger woman before finally taking several pencils and beginning.

Andrea awakened slowly, stretching languorously, aware that there were a number of sore spots on her body and that the woman responsible was no longer next to her. She had yet to open her eyes but could smell coffee and heard something that sounded like scratching or paper or something moving with paper? Confused she cracked open an eye and found herself ensnared in the intense gaze of her lover. Miranda. _Wow, Miranda Priestly is my lover!_ A smile that could stretch across the Hudson animated her face. "Good morning beautiful."

Watching Andrea Sachs return to the land of wakefulness was a revelation; just one more in a sea of revelations since renewing her association with the younger woman. Her fascination was such that any lingering worries of the impossibly beautiful woman seeing her sans-makeup evaporated like dew with the rising sun. There was an unconscious sensuality exuded with each stretch and Miranda felt herself being drawn in yet again to a deep well of carnal lust that seemed to have been loosed within her.

Setting the sketch pad and coffee aside she stood and fluidly untied the sash to the silky robe, unselfconsciously letting it slide from her body. She stalked almost like a panther to the bed and kneeled at the edge. "Andrea" She whispered.

The reporter watched as the breathtakingly beautiful figure settled on the mattress next to her, stretched out like a giant cat and it erased all questions she may have had about what the other woman was doing with pad and pencil. She had to pee like a racehorse, but that could be delayed for a few more minutes because watching the reality of her former boss, the woman about who she had dreamt so extensively, stretched out in her naked glory next to her in her bed was too wonderful to rush for a mere biological function.

She brushed her hand through the silver hair that was backlit from the sun, now nearly at its winter zenith, as it flowed through the curtains. Mesmerized by the tones of gold and silver and white as they sifted together she was unaware of the other woman's growing arousal until her gaze locked onto blue sapphires that blazed out from the shadowy planes of her uniquely beautiful face.

The remembered ecstasy of the night before cascaded through Andy like a waterfall, fully waking her to both the world and her desire. Desire that she knew would never cease, for it wasn't just about her beauty, or her manner, drive, intelligence, caring, warmth, strength or any other deconstruction, rather it was something inherent in the soul of this woman and it would drive her to know her and love her until the end of her days.

"Miranda, I need you. Please."

Miranda rolled over onto her back, more than ready to offer the girl her tattered soul if she should want it. If it meant experiencing that fierce need and intense focus she would gladly do anything at all, save give up her children, to have it. "Andrea, yes darling, yes."

Andy dove into a kiss laced with the flavor of coffee and moaned. Coffee and Miranda were intrinsically linked in Andy's world and the two mixed with the promise of sex nearly short circuited her brain. Resolved to continue her efforts while remaining in position to receive more of those kisses, Andy lay down fully beside her and ran her hand down the entire length of her reach, then back again. Up and back, stopping that time to slip through the now slippery arousal of the older woman, then up again, repeating it over and over, except for the variation in her stimulus of Miranda's fully aroused bundle of nerves. When she sensed the change in the breathing she slid two fingers in to the hilt and slid her thumb over the engorged nub the rhythm of her thrusts sending the fashion editor into the heavens yet again.

They lay entangled, bodies touching from nearly head to toe, eyes sharing more than they had yet to speak. Andy watched as the lashes fluttered lightly over the impossibly blue eyes until finally the lids shuttered and soon the other woman's body was limp with sleep.

l l l l l l l

When Andy returned from the bathroom and a short trip to the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on the older woman still hadn't moved from her prior position. Her eyes were once again open but heavy and they stared blankly into the space before her.

Andy settled back on the bed next to her, head propped up in her hand. "What are you thinking beautiful woman?"

Miranda turned and regarded her for several seconds, unsure if she should be so weak as to voice her fears. She closed her eyes for a moment as the other woman lightly traced the contours of her face; she realized that she could smell herself on Andrea's fingers. _Oh help me but I'm aroused again!_ "That I am amazed that you actually believe I am beautiful. I can feel you believe yourself to be sincere." She shook her head and her expression was somewhat incredulous. "Even with all of my flaws revealed you still find me beautiful. How is that so?"

The younger woman shrugged. "I guess I just see you, the real you, the one that very few people in this world get to see – the one that lies beneath 'The Dragon'." Miranda suddenly shivered.

Andrea scooted closer and brought the comforter over them. "Are you cold?"

"Hmm, I think I felt a sudden draft." _More like a sudden truth, she doesn't know you at all; are you going to tell her how wonderful her lover really is? Hmm?_ Miranda shivered again and then tilted her head into the other woman's shoulder so her face was hidden and then spoke with a flat tone. "Thank you for the covers."

Andrea could tell there was something more but didn't press. They had only just met a week ago and had been intimate for less than 24 hours_. I have no right to ask for every thought that goes through her head._ In spite of an intense desire to understand and know everything there was to know about the woman who had so captured her heart and soul.

l l l l l l l

It was now late afternoon and they lay snuggled into one another, still in bed. They had gotten up earlier and had coffee and a light brunch but it wasn't long before the unstoppable force of their passion was once again driving them to mutual pleasure.

They were idly talking about inconsequential things when Miranda realized she knew very little about the younger woman; that she was so interested was surprising to her, she usually could not be bothered with the details of another person's life. "Tell me something about yourself Andrea, I would like to know about your life; what's your family like?"

Andrea talked about what it was like growing up in a city like Cincinnati, Catholic schooling and then the suburb her family was from, a very "white-bread" environment. "I always knew that I wasn't going to stay there, as did Lily, my best friend. She was from one of the only black families in our entire suburb back then."

Miranda's curiosity was piqued. "What was that like? When I was younger all I heard about the United States was that there were race riots everywhere, and that in the Midwestern part of the country that blacks, often had a somewhat difficult time of it." She noted the questioning look on the younger woman's face. "What?"

Andy was truly surprised. "You're not from the U.S.? Where did you grow up?"

Miranda sniffed. "Why am I not surprised that you didn't know that I started out in England? Honestly Andrea, did you not do your homework?"

Andy narrowed her eyes at the older woman smirking back at her and then pounced, rolling the other woman beneath her and then running questing fingers along the soft middle, behind the knees and anywhere else, seeking the woman's ticklish spots. "Oh no, we will not be having any of the Dragon Lady in bed with us this afternoon!" A surprisingly loud shriek and then laugh erupted when Andy hit the spot behind her knee prompting Andy to giggle in delight as she gentled her assault. "Don't you know by now that I am totally fascinated with Miranda the woman, not the icon."

Miranda looked up with shining eyes. "You are a very sweet woman."

Andy waggled her eyebrows. "I'm definitely sweet on you!"

Miranda groaned in response, "I am doomed to endure endless hokey Midwestern charm am I not?"

Andy chose to return to the conversation at hand. "I'm amazed that you don't have any type of accent, and contrary to what you may think about my supposed ill-preparedness when it comes to courting you, I happen to know that the fact you're British is not something that has been written about, unless it was earlier in your career." She grinned and added cheekily. "I didn't go back to the microfiche files."

Which earned her a firm smack across her ass. "Hey!"

"That will teach you to make jokes about my age young lady." The firm tone was counterfeited by the editor's smile, despite any discomfort she may have about disclosure of any details about her earlier life, she was enjoying the play.

Andy stopped suddenly, aware that she had just had a very sexual response to the editor's firm hand and tone. _Whoa Sachs, what the hell?_ She swallowed and rolled off the woman below, taking a seated position; she leaned forward and wrapped arms around bended knees and rested her head on her arms. Fighting to regain her equilibrium and light tone she asked. "Will you tell me about your family?"

Miranda sat up fully, facing her lover, noting the slightly red face and nearly strangled tone. Her eyes narrowed and she queried in a soft but firm voice. "What just happened here?"

The brunette looked away, but not before the older woman could see that her face was now nearly crimson; the girl was clearly embarrassed. _Why?_ She looked for other clues, noting that it was not just embarrassment evidenced on her young lover's body, but arousal too. _Ah._ A quick replay of the conversation had it all making sense.

"Andrea."

"I don't want to talk about it Miranda." Andy whispered as she turned so her forehead rested on her arms, hiding her face. _God this is so embarrassing!_

"Andrea." Miranda tried to figure out the best way to approach it. She was never one to talk about sex; ever. No help for it then. Even though she would probably never get to tell her, she loved this girl and wasn't going to let her suffer for this. "I read an article a few years ago in Vanity Fair about human sexual response; that it's probably one of the least understandable parts of our humanity, and the most fickle." She tried to think of the most non-threatening way to put it. "Essentially we are capable of being surprised by ourselves until the day we leave this earth and sometimes that surprise may come in the form of stimulation that may be out of what we have been taught to think of as the norm."

Andy turned her head and watched as Miranda haltingly searched for words. _That should be impossible; Miranda is always confident and sure!_ The older woman reached out and slowly ran a soothing hand over the long expanse of skin of Andy's back; it relaxed her and she returned her focus to the dulcet tones.

"The point, Andrea, is that as long as our sexual response does not create harm for another, there is nothing wrong with it. Not with feeling it, not with wanting it, not with even doing it." Miranda actually flushed as she visualized the "doing it" part. She was going to leave it there, but she wanted to set a precedence for how she approached this relationship; no more hiding. Her inner voice had a good chuckle at that. _Right __**Miriam**__, no more hiding!_ She hushed it ruthlessly and turned back to the topic at hand.

"I have to admit, it gave me a…" She paused for a moment, watching the brunette as she listened intently, and struggled with how to say it. "… it gave me a thrill when I felt my hand slap your bare skin. On many levels."

Andy made full eye contact the woman who continued to surprise and amaze her. She had been kind of pissed at first that the editor wouldn't respect her wishes and just let it be, but as she watched her struggle to find just the right words, and as she shared her feelings, she was "gone" on the woman all over again.

"Miranda?"

The older woman looked up, noting that her lover seemed to have returned to herself, remnants of her discomfiture all but gone. She had now unfolded from her "cocooned" state and moved to kneel close to the older woman. Miranda felt relief that the younger woman was feeling better and that she was no longer required to talk about it, at least carry the conversation alone. "Mmmmhmm?"

"Thank you." The brunette gathered the silver-haired woman into her arms and they stayed wrapped together. "This is an entirely new experience for me you know. I've never felt comfortable with the men in my life to discuss how I feel about sex and the women I've slept with, well, they weren't relationships so there was _**no**_ discussion." She kissed the top of the silver head. "You are so brave; so thank you for not laughing at me and helping me to feel okay about this."

Miranda squeezed the woman she was wrapped around and pressed a kiss to her breastbone. "I think I may have had about all I can take of this topic right now, but I want to definitely revisit it, once we've each had some time to think about it. And Andrea…" She pulled back enough to make eye contact with the younger woman. "Remember when I said to you at the club that I was willing to do anything for you? I really meant it. Anything _for_ you or _**to**_ you. Okay?" Miranda smiled as Andrea's already alert nipples hardened even further. "You don't have to say a word, darling, I think we have an understanding."

They leisurely kissed for several minutes and then Andrea's stomach growled. They looked over at the bedside clock and then at the growing darkness outside.

"Do you have to go home? What about The Book? Are you hungry?"

Miranda laughed, relieved that the younger woman had returned to her enthusiastic self. "No; tomorrow; and yes."

l l l l l l l

They had actually decided to get out of bed, shower and put clothes on – Miranda in a pair of Andy's yoga pants, the only pants she had that wouldn't require them to be rolled up, and a faded, long sleeved, dark purple tee with her college alma mater's logo on it. They were seated at the dining table which wasn't in an actual dining room, but an alcove space in front of a bay like window that separated the living room and the kitchen area.

Andy looked across the table and smiled at the relaxed look of the usually perfectly coiffed woman; her hair had been blown dry after their shower but not really styled so it was doing little flips and was wavier than usual.

"Why are you smiling?" The editor was still somewhat self-conscious about not wearing makeup around the younger woman.

"Because you are absolutely beautiful right now." Andy's smile grew, if that were possible.

They continued with their meal, Andy relating her trip home for Thanksgiving and the difficulties with her father.

"I understand the need to protect one's children, but..." The older woman paused for a few moments, gathering her thoughts. "…I find that to allow a dogmatic tradition to have more influence than the personal experience with that child, and the realities involved in them finding their happiness, to be a great failing of so many today. It's short sighted and inhumane." She shrugged and smirked. "But then I find most religions to be inhumane."

Andy laughed, "I definitely agree with you there; nothing like growing up in the Catholic religion with all that guilt." She chewed for a moment on the last bite of her salad. "We're you raised in a particular religion? We never did get to finish the conversation about your family or even what drew you to the United States." Andy took a drink of her pinot noir and cut back into her rib-eye. She had pan-seared a couple of steaks while Miranda had made a salad; the domestic scene had warmed her to her core.

Miranda tensed. She was very afraid that once the woman before her realized the truth about her that she would decide…well she would ask her to leave. It would be like Paris only so much worse. "That's due in part I'm afraid from my not wanting to think too much about it. Sometimes the past is just better left in the past." She held up her hand to stop whatever the younger woman was about to say. "But I will tell you a little, enough so you will understand." She lost any appetite for the remnants of her meal and pushed away the plate. Looking around her she took in the warm comforting space and breathed it in, afraid that she would only be living this in her memories after the, what she now realized was inevitable, conversation was complete.

After a long inhale she began. "I was the first born to second generation Russian Jews in East London; they named me Miriam Princhek." She ignored Andy's surprised but interested expression, continuing to deliver the facts of her life in a quiet, matter of fact manner. "Both of my parents are deceased and I have a younger sister and brother. My brother, Aaron lives in London and is an accountant. My sister, Ledah, lives in Portugal and is a writer. Both have families."

"My father was a jeweler, moderately successful when he was younger, but he also liked to gamble, horses I think but probably other things, like cards. It was fine when I was very young, but around my eighth or ninth year things started to change; we spent much of our childhood never knowing if, or what we would be eating. Some months it would be a feast, others, cabbage. By the time I was thirteen it was always cabbage. My mother really did try to keep us clothed and clean, but we were always threadbare, looking like rabble from the wrong side of things." She fiddled with the silverware in front of her and when Andy reached across the table to take her hand she pulled back, continuing with her uncharacteristic fidget.

"They always fought then; terrible screaming matches at the conclusion of which my father would storm out and be gone for up to a couple of days; we never knew where he went although often times he would drag himself in looking like he hadn't slept a wit. Every once in a while he would have a black eye and one time he returned with a broken arm." Miranda's frown increased and the sadness was palpable.

"He was kind to us children, but remote; his cool, steel blue eyes, not unlike what I see when I look in the mirror, were never truly looking at me, I remember that he always seemed to be somewhere else." The older woman drifted into silence, ghosts of her past parading on the stage of memory, then took a sip of wine.

"I was fifteen when they had another one of those fights and he did his usual leaving only the two days stretched into five and then ten. The fourteenth day his body turned up in the city dump, a single bullet to his forehead."

A gasp. Andy covered her mouth in horror, tears filling her eyes.

The woman looked up briefly. "It wasn't a suicide."

"Miranda…"

"My mother was never the same after that; she loved him deeply despite his addiction. She died about ten years ago of colon cancer." Miranda looked over at her lover and pierced her with a hard stare. "I hated the life my parents led, never knowing how they would make it one month to another and I hated my life in that place; teased because our father was a lag who seemed to owe everyone money. I vowed to never be put in that position, to never be without, and to never put any children of my own in such turmoil and stress."

Andy covered her hand and squeezed but Miranda didn't let her linger. She finished the wine in her glass. "So I saved all the money I could, and that was hard because I wanted my younger siblings to at least have it a little better than I. But I'd put some aside, I worked for a seamstress, it's where I first discovered my love for fabric." She grew wistful. "I already had an eye for beauty, would take scraps of paper when I was younger and draw and try to create a world more beautiful than my own. Anyway, I left when I was 17, traveled to Paris and got a job as an apprentice seamstress at a fashion house and that is how I got started."

Andy poured Miranda the rest of the wine. "Why did you choose the name Miranda?"

Miranda chuckled mirthlessly. "Do you know what Miriam means? It means 'bitter'. My entire childhood was represented by that name and I knew to succeed I needed to not only work hard but change the very way I looked at my life. Leaving bitterness behind and moving forward to success. Miranda means "admired one"; when I was eighteen that sounded exactly like what I wanted and I wanted to keep my initials." She shrugged. "There you have it."

"Holy shit, you could write a book!"

"Ah, but that is not where my talents lay and it's already been written after a sort." A building panic rose higher within her; mind split between warring factions, one favoring full disclosure and the other, perpetuation of her own myth. Disclosure was winning, but at the expense of her equanimity. "My sister utilized the storyline to quite astonishing result. Indeed, you may actually have heard of it?" A long pause. "'Unbearable Odds'."

Andy nearly spit the wine she had just sipped back into her glass. "Heard of it? An Oprah bookclub pick and Number 1 on the New York Times bestseller list for three months in a row back in 2002? Your sister is Leda Princer?"

Miranda deadpanned. "I take it you have read it then?"

"More like cried my way through it. It was a very moving and well-written story; your sister is a very talented writer."

"Yes, she is." Miranda picked up her empty plate and took it to the sink. She busied herself with opening another bottle of wine as she elaborated. "Of course the story was heavily fictionalized, but she has made no attempt at hiding what was the fact that gave birth to her characters."

Andy, who had remained seated turned as she heard the low hum of anger that lay beneath the comment. "I take it you weren't happy with it were you?"

The older woman leaned back against the counter, wine glass dangling at her side. She sighed. "I was glad that she was finally able to exorcise certain demons that she had carried for years, writing it was very good for her. However it was very inconvenient for me. It is not widely known that we are sisters and it took quite a lot of money to a very expensive PR firm to keep that particular connection from coming to the public's attention."

The editor watched her young lover process everything. With a suddenness that took her by surprise all of the uncertainty and sadness and futileness of this relationship actually working crashed in. _She's a reporter, she's curious; sooner or later she'll ask questions that she won't want answers to. Then she will leave._ _Once again, I'll be alone._ She hardened. "So now you see who you have become involved with Andrea; someone about whom you know next to nothing and so much of what you thought you knew was a lie. Someone who does not hesitate to pay off people to maintain the façade."

"Miranda, that is not true, I do know you. You had reasons to do what you do…"

"Reasons Andrea? Does justification absolve one from their sins? Remember Paris? Was that a mistake you made to leave? You saw at that moment what I was capable of and you ran. So how can you say now, after seeing even more? And that's not even the half of it. If you knew, truly knew what I was capable of you would leave and you would never look back. I'm not a nice person."

"Miranda! I don't believe that for a minute!"

Miranda shook her head and snorted. In a tone so condescending that Andy was reminded of their first meeting, the older woman continued.

"So naïve, so young. You don't know the half of it."

"So tell me!" The younger woman nearly shrieked and chastised herself for sounding like the youngster her lover was accusing her to be, but she was growing increasingly frantic with the direction this was heading. She had been gathering the detritus of their meal and carrying it to the counter so had not picked up the cues that would have told her of the other woman's growing unease and agitation with the conversation; she was caught completely off guard by the conversational turn and the growing hostility from the other woman.

Miranda resisted and remained a solid, silent wall. But inside she was in turmoil. _Why am I doing this? She wouldn't even have to know, I barely remember; what is wrong with me? Haven't I already dealt with all this?_ But Miranda really never had, she had swept that period of her life under the creation of her new one and moved on. It was the only way to deal with something so hurtful; with her being so stupid. She surfaced a bit, Andrea was speaking again. _Oh why can't she just leave this alone?_

Andy watched as Miranda withdrew. She gave her her space but was growing impatient; the woman was insulting and had said some hurtful things. She was trying to not react but it was growing more difficult with each patronization. "I don't know where you just went, but I'm waiting. You obviously have something you want to say but are afraid."

A snort. "Afraid Andrea? Really! You are being rather presumptuous."

"Oh for fuck's sake Miranda! What is wrong with you? I told you, I do know you. I can see that whatever is on your mind right now is scaring the hell out of you. So just get it over with, **tell me**!"

"You only see what I want you to see. I always control, am in control of, what I want people to see."

It was Andy's turn to snort. "Really? I don't believe that what we've shared in the last 24 hours was very controlled." She flashed back to Miranda biting her collarbone, shuddering as she moved aside her shirt to display the bruise and pitched her voice low. "Control Miranda? Nothing about us has been controlled, I couldn't stay away from you when I first saw you. And you? Oh no. Control is an illusion Miranda, and life is full of illusions; you can tell yourself anything you want but it doesn't change that you aren't in charge here anymore than I am. We have been careening out of control since the moment we met again so you might as well just give in." The younger woman wound down, leaned against the counter opposite Miranda and in a quiet voice added. "Nothing you have told me so far changes anything Miranda, I still think you are the most amazing woman I know."

Miranda was at a loss. Part of her yearned to give in and accept the acceptance, to trust; but she had never been very good at that, what she was good at was deflection. So that part of herself that just wanted to give in and accept the comfort hung her head and cried while 'The Dragon' forged ahead.

"Obviously you are not only hard of hearing but quite dull-witted. Have you not been paying attention? Tell me Andrea." She exaggerated the syllables even more so it sounded a mockery. "How many times have I been married?"

By this point the girl had fully grasped the game and didn't fall so easily. She responded with a resigned sigh keeping her reply spare, wanting to minimize future scathing comments. "Twice of which I am aware."

"Very good, you are catching on. You are someone who is of the very misinformed position that I marry for love; that is not true. Every one of my three husbands have had a very distinct purpose. From Greg it was the girls and Stephen the continuation of the façade so needed for a woman who wishes to maintain her position."

Andrea's heart suddenly plummeted; she knew the odds were against her that she would ever bring to Miranda one shred of anything besides perhaps ridicule in the social circles she inhabited. And yet, why was Miranda trying so hard? If she truly didn't want anything to do with her, she would have left already. Her eyes never leaving the other woman's as she continued her monologue she looked beyond the harsh words designed…_Designed_…to drive her away. Miranda had no control and was trying to get it back. She returned to her earlier hypothesis with new vigor. _She is afraid I'll reject her, so she is doing it first._

"I'm not going anywhere Miranda, regardless of what you tell me."

Miranda was ready to pull her hair out and let out a short exclamation of frustration; she should have left long ago. "You ridiculous girl, everybody leaves!"

But Andy knew she was close now. "Tell me about your first husband Miranda."

Miranda's cold stare entrapped the other woman. "He was very wealthy and very well-connected. I married him for his money and a luxurious place to live while I gained a foothold in the fashion world. When I got what I needed, I left. There. See? I use people Andrea."

But Andrea noted the cut of her eyes away that lasted perhaps only a few half seconds; Miranda was lying. But why? After all of this buildup, why this sudden prevarication?

"Miranda, I would think you would be more adept at deceit by now if the tales of your cold-heartedness are to be believed."

"You impertinent child."

"Why are you trying so hard to make me hate you Miranda?"

Miranda was gripping the counter behind her with a death grip; every prod and insult was met with reason. She was itching for a fight, for a reason to storm out of the apartment and… what? Never see the girl again? The pain she felt in her heart was so acute at the thought that she nearly feared she was having a heart attack. Indeed, her cardiac muscle was racing now, pumping blood without full oxygen due to increasing breaths growing more shallow with each passing second. She started to shake and sweat and had a sudden urge to vomit or shit or flee. She opted for option three.

But Andy was ready for her and placed her body between her and the passage out of the kitchen. The signs were all there, Andy watched as a full blown panic attack seemed to grip the other woman. She was careful not to touch her, knowing from first-hand experience that it wouldn't be welcomed at this exact moment. She softened her voice.

"Miranda, love." Andy cringed at the slip. _Too soon, it will just scare her more._ "Miranda, please tell me, why are you wanting me to think you are a monster?"

"Because I am a monster!" The other woman was now pacing in the small space between counters and the wall. "Why can't you see it now? You eventually will and then you will leave and it will devastate me! Is that what you want me to say? You want to hear me say it? That you have my heart and that I will be destroyed when you leave? Why are you so fucking cruel? Just let me leave!" The older woman tried to push past at that, but Andrea was not going to let her, grabbing her instead and wrapping herself the other woman from behind. She held on as if her life depended on it.

"Let me go!" Miranda twisted and tried to get away, but every move she tried was countered; the younger woman wouldn't release her. Finally it was too much and she began to sob. They stood there for some minutes, the older woman crying like it was coming from the depths of her being, the younger holding on and issuing words of comfort.

Once the tears started to abate Miranda, voice hoarse and rough, confessed. "I had been married to my first husband for three months when it started; cruel words, constant demeaning of my character. He increasingly controlled my time, who I could see, when I could even work. Six months in I found out I was pregnant. It shocked me like nothing else could and I knew I couldn't stay with him." She let out another sob. "I also knew there was no way I could have that baby, so I had an abortion and left him the next day while he was at work." The comforting warmth remained at her back and she continued the story. "I took all of the jewelry and items he had given me, along with a stash of money I knew he had tucked away and I bought a plane ticket to New York, knowing I couldn't stay in Paris. I had been befriended by someone at work who had a connection. It wouldn't be drawing or designing, but it was still in the industry."

She pulled away and turned to look at the younger woman who was completely absorbed in her horror for what it meant for Miranda as a young woman, how alone and scared she must have been; her ever expressive face telegraphed the emotion. Miranda, in her state, could not see beyond her own self-loathing and what she thought she saw there was devastating; she hardened again.

"So you see now. I am someone who would abort her first child, because she loathed her husband, because keeping it meant I would never have a career. Tell me Andrea. Do you think me so 'amazing' now?"

Jolted from her sadness and empathy she looked up into two steely ice chips that were staring hard into her. "Whoa. Remember what you asked me earlier today? 'What just happened here?' Well, it's my turn now. Miranda?"

But the older woman only grabbed at her forgotten wine glass and took a large sip and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't believe it is that difficult a question. I wanted to know, now that the veneer is kicked off, whether or not you will turn tail and run after all, a precedent has been set in that department; hasn't it Andrea?"

Andrea's mind was racing. She thought she had broken through. Where had this entire conversation gone so wrong? She frantically searched for the right thing to say because she sensed that she was not going to be able to keep the woman here a second time.

"Please, you know how I love to be kept waiting." Miranda slammed the wine glass on the counter.

The sound of the glass hitting the Formica jolted Andrea out of her panic and she reacted purely on instinct.

"Enough!" It wasn't quite a yell, but then neither was it her normal speaking voice. She moved to stand directly in front of the other woman and looked her straight in the eye. "That was a low blow Miranda, but I'm going to ignore it for right now just like I'm going to ignore all of the other insults you've slung my way." The younger woman moved in a little closer, mindful not to touch the other woman just yet, as the anger radiating off of her was palpable.

"So here it is, straight up, no bullshit. I _**do**_ know you; yes I may not have known your birth name or how you spent the first twenty-odd years of your life, but I know you regardless of your name. You are a successful woman who has built your life from the ground up; enduring heartbreaking events and dealing with them as best you could. Some would call it a fabrication, but I call it a work of art. Nothing you revealed changes who I know you to be at your core: loving, caring, loyal, fierce, creative, intense – the list goes on."

Andy watched as some of the tension began to loosen in the other woman, praying to the universe that somehow this time she would get through. When Miranda looked as if she was going to speak, Andrea dared to reach over and gently grasp the other woman's hands, but let them go when she pulled back. "Please don't interrupt. If you're worried that I'm just a naïve young girl and that I haven't been able to see the bad stuff; believe me, I have. Remember I worked for you for nearly a year, how could I not see some of it? But you are extremely intelligent and to reach the place you now hold you had to channel some of that into being a brilliant tactician, maneuvering others into playing the hand you wanted them to play. The buying people off part? Well, I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, that I couldn't really see myself doing the same in your position, but I never have been in your position. I've always known my parents were there to never let me starve." Miranda flinched, but persisted in her self-flagellation.

"That's right Andrea, you never would have killed an unborn baby just to get ahead." Miranda persisted, seemingly hell-bent on hammering home how despicable she could be and was.

"Miranda! How old were you? Like nineteen?"

Vitriol gone, the deflated woman whispered. "Only eighteen."

"Jesus! You were still practically a child yourself!" She softened her voice. One of her close friends in high school had an abortion. She knew what kind of hell it was. "You are talking to me like you are some kind of cold blooded murderer. Tell me, was it something that you were able to do without any struggle at all? Was it like going to the doctor and having a tooth pulled?"

Miranda had moved towards the living area as Andy was speaking and she turned to the younger woman, voice a near sob, she had never before spoken of this period of her life. "It _**was**_ hard, it tore me up inside!" Miranda once again lost her tightly held control; voice several octaves louder than her usual soft tones. "I was a naïve child, totally alone in a country that wasn't my own, the man I had married was so much older and he lured me in with the safety and comfort his wealth afforded him."

She trembled and Andy drew her into a hug. "And he trapped you and then tried to control you; he abused you."

Miranda sniffed and her voice was teary. "He wanted a trophy and it was one of the worst decisions of my life, marrying him. To let him know I was pregnant would have shackled me to him for years; I never would have gotten away."

"You protected yourself in the only way you knew how at the time." Andrea leaned in and gave the silver haired woman a kiss, brushing away several tears leaking from the corner of her eyes. "I'm not here to judge you. I just want to know you. All of you, just the way you are." They were both silent for several moments. "So I ask you beautiful woman, do you still think I don't know who you are?"

Miranda could feel that her hands were shaking in Andrea's grasp and her bottom lip quiver a little when the younger woman kissed her. She swallowed hard, completely disappointed in herself for allowing her fears get the upper hand. The panic was receding and she was able to step back, for the first time since the whole conversation started, and see with new eyes what she had been doing. Andy allowed her the time and they remained standing, fingers entwined in an almost hug. She looked closely at the other woman, seeing the compassion and love fully surfaced in wide shining eyes. She swallowed a couple of times, ashamed that she had hurt the other woman.

"Andrea, I am truly sorry. You did not deserve that."

"No, I didn't, but I understand that sometimes things get too overwhelming. Is that what happened?"

"I…" The older woman stopped and considered. "I'm not exactly sure but you were essentially right. I was suddenly very frightened that you would…" Her voice trailed off, she had really been kidding herself; the prospect of losing this woman was already too much to bear.

_And your modus operandi has always been attack. _"Okay, it's okay to be afraid. But Miranda, I need you to try, if you should have another one of those moments, to talk to me. Or not; maybe sit on it a bit and work it through or whatever; please just try not to go off on me, okay?"

_She asks for so little and the entire world at the same time._ The editor closed her eyes and nodded. "I can't promise it won't happen again, but I do promise to try."

"Thank you." She kissed the editor tenderly, lips slightly parted. She nudged and nibbled at first the upper and then the lower lip asking for the kiss to be deepened. They stood so closely together now that they could feel every contour of where they molded together.

Miranda marveled at and basked in the forgiveness; her hands began to wander down the firm back and into the elastic of the other woman's soft cotton exercise pants, cupping the soft globes.

Andrea moaned into the other woman's mouth, sensation building between them, reveling in the layers that had been peeled away from the enigmatic woman's veneer. Her sex pulsed as fingers began to knead her backside as their kiss grew with intensity. "I need you Miranda, please…"

Grateful that she hadn't, despite her best efforts, completely blown the opportunity to continue to love this beautiful creature Miranda enthusiastically answered the call.


	4. Chapters 11 thru 13

**It's the Only Life You've Got… Arc I  
>…so you better just live it<strong>

**Author: **raiderL  
><strong>Pairing: <strong>Miranda/Andrea  
><strong>Rating: <strong>M (or 18 or NC-17, take your pick)  
><strong>Summary:<strong> One year after leaving Runway Andy and Miranda meet up again and realize that there is an undeniable attraction between them. That they both know that the bond between them is more than merely physical doesn't mean there aren't roadblocks, namely Miranda's trust issues and her daughters' acceptance. **  
>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own the characters in created in either the book or the movie The Devil Wears Prada and I make no money off of this work of fan fiction. I am merely having fun, thinking "_What if?_" after the movie's end. Oh, there are a few characters in here that you may not recognize, they were created by me; please be kind and allow them to remain in their own little fantasy world.  
><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I have taken liberties with some of the supporting character histories, names and characterizations so that they serve my own purposes, some of them (like Miranda's ex-husband) are names used in other fan-fictions so I tip my hat to whoever may have used it first.**  
>Author's Note: <strong>_**Thank you to bearblue for her awesome beta work and encouragement!  
><strong>_**Archiving: **Only with permission of the author.

**Chapter Eleven**

The morning dawned cold and gray; rising sun weakly attempting to bring warmth and failing miserably. A shrill noise penetrated Andy's deep slumber and for a few moments she felt the sense of urgency to rise and prepare for another work day. But before her sleep-muddled brain could sort out the details and her eyes could open she heard a sigh as the warmth that had been spread along most of her back, rolled away and quietly removed itself from the bed.

Keeping her eyes closed she listened as there was a slight rustle of cloth and then the bathroom door was softly closed.

Stretching lightly, a slight arc to her back as her toes tipped the bottom of the mattress, she inhaled deeply. _Mmm, I'll be changing the sheets today. _ Or maybe not. _Maybe I'll hold onto this for a little while longer._ Enveloped as she was in the smell of the woman she loved; well, she hadn't told her yet, but she did indeed love her. She reflected on the withholding, intuiting that it would definitely be too much too soon, especially given the older woman's…What exactly was that all about yesterday? Fear? Insecurity? Whatever it was, _that __**was**__ some kind of crazy_. The young woman laughed at herself, smiling because to have this magnificent woman in her life she would endure a little bit of complicated, neurosis, or blind panic. Her smile faded, it wasn't funny at all, her heart went out to the other woman; it was painfully obvious that her lover…The smile returned. _Miranda is my lover!_ It was obvious to the younger woman that her lover, who had been hurt so deeply by events in her younger days, was deeply afraid to trust. She rubbed the heels of her palms on the sides of her head. _You don't pick the easy ones do you Sachs?_ She ignored the fact that that little voice sounded remarkably like her current boss. _Ah that's right, no work today, it's Sunday._

Which took her back to the office gossip and her eyes stared at the ceiling as her brow furrowed and tried to figure out what to do about that. A talk with Miranda about it would probably be a good start. _Coffee to go with it would be even better._ So she dragged her sluggish body out of the warm comfort of the bed, wincing at a particularly sore muscle and looked for some clothes. She picked up her shirt from yesterday and revealed Miranda's sketchpad; she had forgotten all about it in their constant "distraction" the day before. Curious, she rested back on the edge of the bed and opened the nearly filled pad gasping in wonder at what she found.

Miranda was a true artist. Sketch after sketch revealed garments of the most intriguing and unique designs that flattered the forms of the faceless forms upon which they were draped. She paused with a fond smile as she came to several pages devoted to the twins; the woman had captured their innocence and sense of play with seemingly no effort in the strokes and, she noted, no erase lines. It was easy to see the love she had for her girls, the sketches communicating a tenderness and deep feeling without trite sentimentality. Indeed her style was an intriguing mix of traditional portraiture blended with a bold Spartan style. She remembered seeing a showing by a Chinese artist recently, Yuqi Wang, and his portrait of a woman sitting on a chair; that painting, replete of background detail, forcing the viewer to focus solely on the subject, was what called to mind as she looked at the images before her, particularly those using color.

As her eyes moved hungrily through the pages she became aware that the models all began to take a more recognizable shape and form; more womanly curves, dark flowing hair but she was unaware of the identity of this particular model. It was with no small amount of surprise when she turned one of the pages towards the middle of the book and found herself staring back at herself. _"Oh my god!"_ A whisper that sounded more like a strangled gasp. From that point forward mostly every sketch unless it was apparent that a different body type was required for a particular style of garment, was of Andy. She swept by several more sketches of the girls in her quest for yesterday's effort; she wasn't disappointed. There were two of her asleep, partial nudes, folds of the sheets caressing her body as tenderly as a lover and a third, when revealed nearly caused her to swallow her tongue. She squeaked.

Rising from the page like she rose from Miranda's knee, riding black silk, black camisole clinging to every curve, body arched backwards in a bow, long neck straining. Herself at the peak, it was strange and oddly compelling, she grew wet just looking at it, remembering that particular moment well.

She studied the lines, the shading, the care; evocative of the images of her daughters. The love was apparent, one did not create works such as these without great feeling. She closed the book and hugged it to her breast, it was like basking in the afterglow in some ways, with the other woman wrapped around her.

She felt a presence move up beside her.

Miranda noted that her sketchbook, so carelessly left, was in the possession of her lover. She felt a momentary surge of irritation at the violation but let it go when she saw the young woman's face. "What are you doing?" She thought it was said mildly enough but the slight flinch let her know some of her pique must have leaked out.

"Miranda!" Andy jumped up, startled by the tone, guilty for the invasion. "I'm sorry, it was sitting here and I just couldn't help myself…" She trailed off, knowing she should just pull it together, it wasn't like she'd looked at the woman's journal, was it? As silence persisted she doubted. _Maybe it was._

She looked up and saw an imperious hand being held out, waiting for her to release the book back to its rightful owner. She tenderly caressed the front and relinquished her hold then met her with eyes brimming with all of the love she felt. "I have no words, Miranda. You are a beautiful artist. I didn't know you still designed?"

Miranda was embarrassed, no one had seen her work for nearly thirty years, and the lash was set to be unfurled when she remembered her promise of the day before; that she would try to step back before saying something hateful. So instead she remained in silence, wrapping the book up in her own hug.

"Miranda?" Andy could see the struggle in the other woman and loved her all the more for it. She almost blurted it out but stopped herself once again, fearful of driving the other woman away so instead she acknowledged the struggle. "Thank you."

Miranda stared at the girl like she had come face to face with Cerberus, the three headed dog of Greek lore. _Confounding, she is completely confounding to me._ Shaking her head slightly she responded in a voice that sounded distracted and quizzical. "I'm sure I don't know what for."

Andy's smile brought light to the shadowed room and when she stood up and gathered the other woman into a tight hug she chuckled. "That's okay, you don't have to."

After a minute of absorbing each other's warmth Andy stepped back. "I was just about to put some coffee on, do you have time to stay for breakfast?"

Miranda had it on the tip of her tongue to refuse but looked into the hopeful face and nodded her assent. She turned and started to gather her change of clothes, long removed from her overnight bag, pressed and hanging on the back of the bedroom door, as Andy threw on a robe and headed into the kitchen.

l l l l l l l

Andy provided a simple breakfast of poached eggs, whole wheat toast and fruit and they enjoyed light conversation about the girls, more about Andrea's family and even Miranda's brother and sister. They were sipping their coffee when Miranda mentioned Andy's work.

"I've been reading your articles for some time now Andrea, you have a definite way with words."

Andrea smiled at the compliment. "Thanks! Coming from you that really means a lot. I just wish I would be able to get better assignments; it's been over a year now and I'm only barely past the obits. I keep trying to bring as much as I can to even the most mundane subjects but, it's frustrating."

"Believe me Andrea, I understand completely; remember, I too started out at the very bottom. You just need to keep a clear idea of what you want and then take every opportunity presented to move yourself forward."

Andrea looked down at her empty plate. "Does that mean you think that I'll have to step on others to get ahead?"

Miranda stiffened slightly and said in a deceptively even tone. "You mean like I've had to?"

Andy's head snapped up and said with utmost sincerity, "Maybe, but that's not what I was thinking about, I can't compare myself to you; we have had two completely different paths. I was thinking about what I did to Emily; taking away her chance at Paris."

The older woman relaxed for a moment, her young lover was clearly struggling. "Andrea, you have to understand that in business you have to jump on opportunities when they arrive. Oftentimes you will find that those opportunities are created by the people around you and their lacking. Emily was not going to Paris, regardless of whether or not you decided to go, even before her unfortunate run-in with a taxi."

Seeing the surprise in the other woman's eyes she continued. "It was because of her inability to focus on her job and to excel that prompted me to take you instead. I was serious when I said I needed my best team and Emily needed to learn that lesson."

"But I felt bad."

"Of course you did; you have a very compassionate nature. But you need to somehow learn to temper that so that you do not allow it to become your weakness. There are plenty of people who, because of their own lacking, will take advantage of any perceived weakness and use it to get ahead."

Andy contemplated and then brought to the table her conversation with her boss earlier in the week.

"You are very fortunate Andrea, your boss thinks highly enough of you to watch out for your well-being."

Andrea gave her a coquettish smile, despite the stress she was feeling because of knowing people were talking about her behind her back. "Yeah, I seem to draw that out of people, don't you agree?"

Miranda smirked and raised her coffee cup in salute. "Indeed you do my dear."

They shared a long moment of silence, eyes caressing until Andy shifted and returned to the topic. "So what do we do? How do we avoid people talking about us? I mean, I'm guessing you don't want us to get out to the press anytime soon, do you?"

Miranda sat back and closed her eyes. _Always so damn complicated; I get past one hurdle and already another presents itself._ But instead of feeling fear of discovery she found that she wasn't all that disturbed about people finding out about them; at least not in the future. She opened her eyes and found that the other woman looked suddenly very nervous.

"Uhm, Miranda, there is an us, right?" Large brown eyes filled with unshed tears as she awaited her fate, much like a prisoner on death row seeking a last minute pardon.

Miranda leaned forward and snagged the other woman's hand. "Of course, I apologize; I didn't realize that you could have mistaken my silence for reconsideration. No, I was just visualizing possibilities; incidentally, that's another key to successfully navigating your career, always look at not just the immediate ramifications of your decisions and actions, but the possibilities that could result from those ramifications." She squeezed the warm, strong fingers curled around her own. "I don't believe either of us is ready for the impending firestorm that will result from knowledge of our intimate association being made public; but eventually it will be, so we will need to be prepared."

Suddenly the flood gates opened and the editor was at a sudden loss as to why. Her eyes widened, did the girl actually not want anyone to know about them? Had she made a gross miscalculation? She grew more worried when Andrea withdrew her hand until she realized that it was only so she could use her napkin to stem the wetness, clear her nasal passages and collect herself.

Through her sniffles Andy was finally able to speak. "Jesus, Miranda, it finally hit me. You really are serious, you really want me in your life! I don't think I let myself actually believe it until this moment." She sniffled and shrugged her shoulders, beaming another of her thousand watt smiles. "I'm sorry for being such a mess about it."

The editor's heart was starting to return to a normal rhythm realizing how different a relationship with a woman was going to be. "Well, yes, of course. Do you really think I would still be sitting here if I didn't?" She raised her hand. "No, you don't have to say anything else; I think we both understand now that we are going to do this. I want this. I want you in my life. So."

When the editor didn't continue Andy encouraged her. "So…?"

"Yes, I think it would be smart to begin considering how to go about ensuring that we aren't damaged when the truth does finally surface. The girls, well, I don't know how they'll react and I just don't want to spring it on them. So perhaps if you were to join us for dinner some night soon, so they can get used to you as someone other than my assistant?"

Andy's smile grew soft. "I'd really like that, it's a good idea."

"What about you? Friends, parents?"

"Uhm, Lily and Doug both know." At Miranda's raised eyebrow she hastened to explain. "Doug, well he guessed it the night of Nigel's party, even before we saw each other again. He kinda gave me a pep talk because I was freaking out that I might run into you."

"Oh really? So he wasn't running from me so much as he was ensuring you had a chance with me?" The sly smile and twinkle in her eyes let Andy know it was alright. "And this other friend, Lily was it, is that the same Lily you grew up with?"

Andy's eyes brightened at Miranda's recollection of their earlier conversation comforted that she cared enough to listen to details. She picked up the hand she had once again grasped and placed a small kiss on the knuckles. "Yes, one and the same. She dropped by unannounced Friday night before you got here; I was a little nervous and she wanted to know who had me in such a state. It was a pretty big shock for her; she blamed you initially for the breakup with Nate." Before the other woman could ask the question reflected in her eyes Andy clarified. "Actually, she blames "The Dragon Lady", I explained that I was not about to engage with her, but with the flesh and blood woman who used that persona as a business face. With time she'll understand that, I believe."

She sighed. "My parents on the other hand…well…I don't believe we'll be heading to Cincinnati for a sleep over anytime soon. My mom will probably be alright, but dad…"

Miranda squeezed her hand. "He just wants what's best for his 'little girl' and he's still processing your coming out. Just remember it will be much easier if he doesn't have to hear about it from the media first."

"Yeah. What about my work? Do you think I should tell Greg?"

"I can't answer that Andrea, do you trust him not to run it on the front page? It would boost his sales tremendously."

Andy looked at the other woman carefully. "Would you run it in his position?"

"No. But not because I'd be doing you a favor. No, because it would compromise the integrity of my publication; weakening the foundation of trust with my employees. It would be a poor long-term decision." She picked up her coffee and sipped. "And that is the essence of truly succeeding in business. It is possible to align values and principles with getting ahead because oftentimes acting from a principled position reaps greater benefit in the end. Unfortunately it hasn't always been possible but still, it's something to strive for."

Andy grinned. "See, I called it right, didn't I?"

There was a fondness in her gaze when she responded. "Yes darling, as much as I loathe to admit it, I concede."

**Chapter Twelve**

The train from Sleepy Hollow, a quaint suburb north of the metro area known for its infamous legend, was running uncharacteristically late and the silver haired editor found herself with the prospect of twenty minutes with nothing to do but wait. Spying the Starbucks in the terminal she strode over and picked up her usual center of the sun latte and settled onto a chair that did not appear to be infested with anything too unsavory. She texted the girls her location, which was near enough to where they would disembark that she was able to relax; if her muscles would cooperate that is.

Discretely attempting to flex a particularly troublesome muscle in her inner thigh brought forth a searing image of Andrea's expression when she first slid her fingers into her grasping channel. The silver haired woman shifted on the uncomfortable wood chair, but the building physiological response continued its upward spiral with each image of the younger woman, flashing like a slide show, in her minds' eye. Andrea riding her hand; Andrea's nimble body rising over her like a goddess; Andrea's tongue buried deep within…The older woman whimpered slightly but stifled it with a shaky sip of her coffee. It didn't help; she was wet beyond belief, ready once again for the younger woman's touch. _Impossible! This is impossible; it hasn't even been four hours!_

Growing more discombobulated with her inability to modify her body's responses she set the paper coffee cup onto the table, watching with remote detachment as some of the steaming liquid sloshed onto the table due to the force of her action.

Her cell phone chimed with an incoming text and she hoped that whatever the message it would distract her enough to allow her the space to master this incomprehensible weakness.

She groaned, it was Andrea.

"_I m so hot thinking about u baby. I meet my friends soon but all I do is remember. How you feel inside me. Pinching my nipples. Letting me lick you, I rode you so hard last night didnt I? U luv it."_

Miranda bolted up from her chair as if it were on fire, scanning the area for a private place to…_to what?_ Her fevered mind still had some remnants of sanity left and it was suddenly horrified to realize just what the sophisticated, always in control, mistress and master of the fashion world was contemplating. But the ice queen had absolutely lost all control of the situation and could only watch helplessly as the woman latched the Starbucks bathroom door and leaned against the aluminum safety rail.

She texted back.

"_I abhor your English but understand the need. I need to come now. Will you help me?"_

Andrea had just finished putting on her outfit when the older woman finally responded. She had thought she was going to be ignored; instead, she dropped the phone. But she recovered; after all, she had always prided herself in being there whenever the other woman needed her.

"_Where are you?"_

The editor swallowed her pride and answered honestly.

"_Starbucks GC loo."_

Fuck! Andy glanced at the clock, she had five minutes leeway to not be late, and she already knew she'd have to change her jockey boy shorts.

"_U r ready for me?"_

The older woman had removed her perfectly pressed slacks. She may have been panting like a bitch in heat but there was no earthly way her Bill Blass pants were going to touch the floor of a public restroom. They hung from the hook on the bathroom door.

"_Yes. Wet."_

"_Sweet baby stroke yourself 4 me"_

A silver head tilted back and brushed into the coffee colored wall as pale tapered fingers slid beneath sodden silk and through copious moisture.

"_R u still there?"_

Unnnhhhh.

"_cant type"_

"_Go inside and cum 4 me"_

The thud as her head impacted the dry wall resounded through the room as she shoved two fingers inside and rubbed her clit with the knuckle of her thumb in the hand still gripping her phone. At last she crested, another flood of liquid mimicking the fluidity of her entire body.

She removed her fingers, contemplating their wetness and with an evil grin typed.

"_My phone is smeared with the evidence of what you do to me. If you haven't already cum do so for me NOW."_

Andy was fifteen minutes late for lunch.

l l l l l l l

That afternoon Andy found herself in a little bistro with Lily and Doug. They had barely gotten their chairs settled into place before the two bombarded the reporter with a volley of questions so rapid fire that she could only sit and stare at the pair, especially when they started bickering over who should be answered first.

She allowed their chatter to flow over and around her as she remembered the kiss they shared before Miranda had to leave to pick the girls up at Grand Central. Andy had pushed her against the hall closet door and proceeded to remove all traces of her lipstick. The muttered reprimand she received softened by a nip to her ear. It must have been what set off that firestorm. _Can't think about that now!_ But Andy couldn't stop visualizing her usually so together lover, what she must have looked like in that bathroom. She didn't think she'd ever be able to use a Starbucks restroom again without getting turned on. Sighing, she looked up into the faces of her friends who had finally quieted and were staring at her with amused expressions.

She shrugged. "Sorry guys, must have spaced out for a minute there." A huge yawn busted out and her friends exploded in laughter. Perfect. There would definitely be awkward moments to come, but her friends were going to be there for her.

l l l l l l l

Two red-headed nearly teen girls bounded towards their mother as she sat, once again perfectly composed, upon a Starbucks metal back chair.

"Mom!"

"Hello babies."

"Moooommm" The two twelve year olds chided in tandem.

"You are still my babies no matter what and you will remain my babies for the foreseeable future." Thinking back on the hurtful things that Andy had related her father had said to his daughter prompted the woman to give each girl an extra squeeze and peck on the forehead.

"We're sorry you had to wait." Caroline's brow furrowed as she tried to appear nonchalant.

Noting the sudden tenseness, Miranda set about to alleviate her daughter's concern. "Nonsense, can you control the trains?" At the shakes of their heads she continued. "I am just so very glad that you are back with me."

Both girls beamed.

As the trio headed out of the terminal Cassidy asked. "Did you have a good weekend mom?"

It took every ounce of fortitude that the older woman possessed to not stutter her reply. "Why yes, I do believe I did."

Surprised at the funny look on their mother's face both girls shot a look behind her back.

Caroline probed. "Oh yeah? What'd you do?" Both girls watched her keenly and the editor, in her struggle to not reveal herself, failed to notice.

"Hmmm?" Miranda dug the keys to the Porsche out of her bag and popped the trunk. "I'm sorry, what was that Bobbsey?"

"She asked what you did mom. Are you listening to us?"

"Of course I'm listening; mommy's just a little distracted this morning that's all."

The girls stopped beside the car and faced one another, hands flashing "Rock, scissors, paper."

"Dammit…"

"Caroline. Mind your words."

Caroline climbed into the backseat. "Sorry, I meant darn it."

"Of course you did." She shot a glare back at her eldest and noted the angelic expression with a smirk of her own and pulled out of the parking garage.

"So, mom?" Cassidy tried again.

"What dear?" Cassidy twisted around and rolled her eyes at her sister.

"What did you do this weekend?"

That damnable slide show started up again in her mind and she fought the blush with everything she had. "Just had dinner with a friend; did some sketching."

"Mom? Are you blushing?" Caroline kicked the seatback. "Hey! Don't do that!"

"Girls, please, I would greatly appreciate if you didn't destroy my car."

"Friend mom? Who was it?"

Miranda growled to herself, honestly Cassidy was like a pit bull sometimes.

Caroline chimed in from the back. "Yeah, who was he? Do we know him?"

The editor sighed; she was raising a pair of pit bulls apparently. "Why do you assume it was a 'he'?"

Both girls rolled their eyes and said in tandem. "You blushed!"

Cassidy turned and faced her mom. "You never blush."

"I'm quite sure I didn't blush. It was just someone I know from work." Technically, she told herself, that was a truth.

After some minutes of silence when she could swear she could feel them silently communicating their next questions, they arrived at the townhome, traffic being light even for a Sunday morning. She turned the car into the underground parking area and pulled into her spot.

"How was your time spent with your father? Did you do anything fun?" She uttered an invocation to whatever deity would listen and mentally crossed her fingers.

The twins shot each other a look and Caroline shook her head to her sister to not push it. For now. They exited the car and got their bags, heading up to street level.

"Yeah mom. Dad had ordered National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation so we watched that with his girlfriend, Kara."

"Your father is seeing someone new? What happened to, what was her name, Binky?"

The girls laughed as they entered the townhouse. "That was Bianca and she didn't last past two months. She was really stupid, so we're glad she's gone."

Miranda looked at her children. "So how was Kara?"

They both shrugged and Caroline muttered. "Okay, I guess."

Cassidy didn't prevaricate. "She's fake." Miranda chuckled; her girls could spot bullshit from a mile away. "But we think dad really likes her, so we only pulled a couple of things on her."

Miranda spied the book sitting on the table in the entry way and headed towards it.

"Why'd they deliver the book so late mom?"

Miranda paused and felt her face warm again_. Shit._

The scrabbling of claws against the hardwood floors and a big, furry, slobbering bundle of lumbering excitement distracted the girls. Miranda took the out and slipped from the girls' view, proceeding to the kitchen where she could smell a meal in progress.

"Hello Cara." Their housekeeper looked up from a large pot of something on the stove and greeted her employer.

"Miranda; I trust you've had a nice weekend?" She smiled and barely winked. Having been employed by Miranda since before the girls were born her relationship with the editor was fairly comfortable shading to affectionate; she was ten years older than the editor and that seemed to afford her a little leeway when dealing with the unpredictable woman.

Miranda blushed yet again. _Dammit! Have I lost all control? How many times am I going to have to ask myself that?_ Gamely she grinned and hearing her daughters still engaged with Patricia, their aging Saint Bernard, she chuckled and added quietly. "You have no idea."

Cara's eyes widened and she smiled brightly. "Good for you!"

"Yes, well, I'd like for that to be kept to the adults if possible, hmm?"

Cara rolled her eyes. "Of course, you were here all weekend."

"I did go out to dinner with a friend on Friday night though. Only if asked of course." Twin footsteps grew closer. "Oh, and the book was delivered only this morning. Wasn't it?"

"Yes, that blond-haired one made all kinds of racket with it too." She laughed as the girls came strolling in accompanied by their furry shadow.

l l l l l l l

That evening at dinner Miranda decided to bite the bullet; sooner or later she was going to have to mention that she was going to have Andrea over. She just hoped that they would take her explanation at face value.

"Girls, I was thinking about having a friend over for dinner this Tuesday. Will you both be home?"

The twins looked at one another and shrugged. Cassidy spoke first. "Is this the same 'friend' you had dinner with this weekend?"

Miranda nodded and took a sip of her wine. "Yes dear, it is."

Caroline took the baton. "What's his name?"

Swirling the deep burgundy liquid lightly she answered carefully. "Her name is Andrea and you've met her before, she used to be an assistant of mine."

Both girls were stunned and thinking much along the same lines; their mother never interacted with any of her assistants, current or former. Except for Nigel, and the occasional work oriented dinner parties, no one from Runway had ever been invited to their home.

"Which one was she?" Cassidy blurted out inelegantly.

"She's the one that got you girls Harry Potter." Miranda noted that both her girls immediately looked down at their plates. _Hmm, what's the story there I wonder._

"Oh." Caroline focused on trying to spear a particularly recalcitrant pea on her fork.

"Girls? Is there something you would like to share with me?"

Cassidy offered. "We were a lot younger then you know and we didn't mean anything bad to happen."

Caroline looked up and added. "Really! We just thought it would be funny to see what would happen if she walked up the steps and she should have known better anyway!"

Memories of that night flooded into Miranda's mind; the horrible fight with Stephen and the terrified look on Andrea's face when she walked into the midst of it. She was so angry that night she could have pushed her down the stairs. She had always wondered what in the hell had possessed the silly thing to encroach upon her space so egregiously; now it made sense.

"You realize that your actions almost got her fired, don't you?"

They both looked genuinely contrite. "Yeah, Andy told us that later."

"Andy?" Miranda was surprised yet again.

Caroline continued. "After she gave us the books, we had to wait for the train for a few minutes and she made sure we got on safely. She told us then."

"So we started hanging around whenever we knew she'd bring the book," Cassidy finished her milk and continued. "we'd tell her about our day and she'd tell us who she got to meet that day or if she got to do something fun and interesting."

"I had no idea." Miranda murmured in contemplation.

"And then she stopped coming." Cassidy actually seemed saddened.

"She left you in Paris, didn't she?" Caroline finally recalled that one crucial detail.

"She left the job, yes; quite unprofessional." Miranda clarified.

Both girls looked at one another and then at their mother.

"Mom."

"We're confused."

"Andrea and I recently met at a party; Nigel's party last week to be specific. We started to talk and realized that we enjoyed speaking to one another. So, I've invited her to have dinner with us. Is that alright girls?"

Both twins were surprised that their mother was asking; it usually didn't matter; both shrugged and Caroline said. "We like her mom. It's cool."

"Now then; did you ladies finish your homework? I believe you had asked to do some holiday decorating?"

l l l l l l l

"Emily…" The soft deadly precision was already issuing from the dragon's lair as the British woman hurried to remove her coat. Emily II/Erica was nowhere to be seen although with some relief she noted a Starbuck's cup in the editor's hand. Emily stood and waited while Miranda contemplated something on her computer screen.

"Would you explain to me your thinking when selecting the pieces from the Jasper White collection?"

It was said mildly enough but Emily was well aware that usually meant that a grievous error had been committed and a blood-letting was about to commence. Still, she hadn't been Miranda's assistant for nearly three years now without understanding that you still answered a question at face value. She was very proud that she had gotten the opportunity on Saturday and was going to hold onto that as long as she could.

"Right, well we met in the airport business class lounge as you know, however not all of his luggage made it from Los Angeles, so he only had three of four cases present. It was unfortunate because I had reviewed the portfolio before meeting with them and two of the pieces I favored were not present. Still there was enough to get a good picture and all of the fabrics used in the pieces I saw were of a high quality and the craft was very good."

"So you decided to include those two pieces, in spite of knowing that with new designers I never select anything unless I can have it in my hand?"

"Yes. But…"

"Why should I let you explain yourself?" The unrelenting blue-gray gaze pierced into the first assistant.

The young woman paled and swallowed once but held her ground and the eye contact; she had made a sound decision. "Because the work was good and those two pieces will make the article and it was the lesser of two evils, allow the piece to be diminished because of a technicality or adapt to the situation and ensure that we still get to view the sample…" She trailed off as a delivery person walked into the outer office with a large dress box. She allowed a small smile as she continued. "today."

Miranda gently swiveled her chair; she was impressed, and she knew it was now time for Emily to take a greater role. She knew that Nigel was growing weary of being both the fashion director and art director (since she had fired the art director two months prior and told Nigel to simply 'fix it') perhaps what he needed was an assistant for both positions. She tapped the arm of her glasses to her bottom lip. Yes, perhaps it was time to have a conversation with Nigel and sooner rather than later.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Andy walked the few blocks from the subway entrance to Miranda's townhouse, Christmas was a little over a week away and the weather was finally beginning to match the season. Hunkering down into her wool coat and drawing her scarf tighter she wished she hadn't had to be so concerned about being seen getting into Miranda's chauffeured Mercedes, she would have loved to have ridden in its warm comfort. But they had both agreed that for now, this was a necessity.

She smiled when she thought about the rose that had been delivered yesterday to her office. Discretion was one thing, but her lover had apparently decided that when it came to sweet gestures she wasn't going to let fear of discovery hold her back; just another pleasant surprise in a long string of recent pleasant surprises concerning her former boss. It really shouldn't have shocked her that the older woman was a closet romantic and the fact that no one in her office was able to discern the sender helped.

As she ascended the stone steps that led to the stately entrance, made less staid by the simple holly wreath hanging on the door, Andy glanced at her watch. _Five minutes early._ She grinned at herself. _Perfect._

She had just raised her hand to press the bell when the door flew open and twin squeals greeted her. "Andeeeee!" Thus the younger woman crossed the threshold with a smile, any nerves at seeing the pair again, evaporating."

"Hey guys! It's good to see you again." Both girls grabbed an arm and practically dragged her into the residence.

They stepped into the entrance hall and Andy looked around her, having a momentary flashback to when she was last there – before Paris – she felt strangely unburdened, no dry-cleaning, no book, just Andy, delivering herself. One of the girls, she looked closely, asked for her coat.

"Thanks Caroline." She received a beaming smile in return, glad she had taken the time to at least be able to discern the differences and that the memory of those differences had not left her.

"How'd you know Andy?"

She looked at the girls and smiled. "I have my secrets. But it's the little things Cassidy, you each are very unique."

They both looked very pleased and escorted her through the study into the kitchen. She noted that the kitchen table was set but her lover was nowhere to be seen. "Where's your mom?" It had been only two days since they had last seen one another and she found she missed the other woman desperately even as she was glad that she would have a few more moments to gain control of emotions and settle a mask of propriety on her face.

"She's upstairs changing, she just got home."

"Oh, I'm glad she didn't have to…" The younger woman had been pulling out one of the stools at the center island when she heard the soft footfalls accompanied by what could only be Patricia's toenails clacking lightly on the wood floor. She turned to look at the kitchen entrance, words dying in her throat, and could not help the sudden joy that escaped when she saw the other woman. She sucked in a deep breath, _oh god, she's wearing that sweater, the one that…_she refused to think about what may or may not lie underneath the loose cowl-neck sweater, simply standing there awestruck.

Miranda smirked when she took in the younger woman's reaction, having very deliberately chosen her outfit. The feeling of pleasure she had at her former assistant being here, in her home not as employee but as someone who truly wished to be there, warmed her.

Both girls were watching very intently the two adults and their eyes widened at the uncharacteristic smile that graced their mother's face and at the faint blush they could see coloring the other woman's face. Both girls thought the way they were just staring at each other was weird.

"Mom! Andy can tell us apart!"

"Is that so sweetheart, I am not surprised; Andrea was always very perceptive. It's what made her so good at anticipating my needs…when she worked for me of course." The last part was an afterthought, hastily said as she broke free of that odd limbo state seeing the other woman had dropped her into and rushed into the room, opening the wine cooler, pulling out a bottle without looking.

Andy could not help the flood of warmth that covered her features, nor the slight dampening in other areas and shifted uncomfortably. "Umm…hi, Miranda." She nearly stuttered but somehow managed to get a hold of herself; she straightened and allowed a warm smile to grace her features. "Thank you for having me over for dinner."

Miranda shook her head at the ridiculousness of the sudden formality but understood its need, for now. She did not want to maintain this pretense in her own home, what little she had been forced into so far was exhausting.

"Oh, you are quite welcome. I hope you don't mind take-out, Cara needed the day for some personal business and well…"

"I understand." The younger woman finally seated herself at the island as the twins settled in on either side. "Since you took over for Irv you probably don't have much time left I would think."

A darkened look descended but was quickly banished by the editor. "You have no idea." She pulled the cork on the bottle and began to pour, only then aware that her choice was completely wrong for the dinner ordered.

Andrea noticed the consternation but didn't comment. Not so for the two twelve-year olds. "What's wrong mom? Is it bad?"

Andy saw the other woman roll her eyes as she turned back to the sink. "No Bobbsey…"

"Mom! We have company!"

The editor sighed. "Alright, _**Cassidy**_. No, I just wasn't watching when I chose this bottle; it won't go with the meal that's coming."

"So just put the cork in it and open another one!"

"Caroline, it will be ruined then. No, this needs to be drunk the day it is opened or else it loses that certain quality that makes it so wonderful."

"Hey, I don't mind." Andy offered. "Really. How bad could it be?"

The other woman looked at her like she had just said that Kmart would be a fine place to purchase clothing. But instead of a sharp bite she looked contemplative for a moment and then continued in a softer voice. "You really don't know wine, do you?"

"Uhm, no? I majored in beer in college," The girls giggled. "And haven't had enough disposable income since to indulge. I do know I enjoy it when I have had 'the good stuff'. Like Friday evening; that was definitely…" She remembered how Miranda squirmed when her hand had pushed that uncooperative skirt to its limit and nearly squeaked. "good."

The older woman suppressed a shudder ruthlessly and proceeded to give all three a short lesson about wine pairing until the doorbell signaled that their dinner had arrived.

It was just at the end of the meal that Miranda's phone rang and she had to genuinely apologize. "I must take this call. It will probably be about twenty minutes. Girls will you please see that our guest is kept occupied? Thank you; we'll have dessert when I return."

Once Miranda left to go upstairs to her office the three set about clearing the clutter from the meal. "You don't have to help you know, mom said you were a guest."

"I know Caroline, but I'm here and I'm able and willing so why not?"

They both shrugged and then grinned mischievously to one another behind Andy's back.

Cassidy started. "Mom's been acting weird lately Andy."

The reporter froze for just a split second and then continued over to the sink. "She has?"

"Yeah." Both girls were silent and stared at her.

Andy gave herself a quick pep talk and vowed to not be intimidated by the pair. "Oookay. How?"

"She's distracted."

"She's tired."

"She's smiling more."

"She said please and thank you in the same sentence when someone other than us were in the room!" This last from Cassidy made her bust out laughing.

"God guys, you make it sound like it's a criminal offense to be polite!"

Both girls turned in tandem, crossing their arms over their chests and leaning back against the sink. Twin mini-Miranda glares, Caroline's the most accomplished, pinned her in place.

"Uhm girls? What's up?"

"We think this is about you."

Andrea hopped up onto the island and gripped the counter with both hands; she could do this. They had discussed that Miranda didn't want to lie, and that they were going to discuss it if they outright asked, but still. She mustered a smile for both girls, they were really very adorable.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because you all are reminding me of your mother right now and it's cute."

"You think our mom's cute?" Cassidy squeaked that one out.

Andy laughed. "No, I would definitely not call your mother cute." Suddenly this conversation was harking back to one she'd had with Miranda nearly two weeks before; just what would she call her? _Hmmmmm_.

She brought herself back to the inquisition as one of them said, "You're doing it too."

"Doing what?"

"Getting all spacey and sappy." Andy's grin broadened.

"Is that so?"

The girls were getting frustrated. "Andeeeee!"

"Whaaat." She playfully mocked.

"You like her!" Cassidy gasped.

"Of course I like her, I don't have dinner with people I don't like. I like you girls too!" Andy was really starting to have a good time with this.

"Stop it." Caroline put her foot down.

"Stop what?" Andy asked innocently.

"You know."

"Know what?" Andy couldn't help it, she giggled.

"See! You're doing it on purpose!"

Andy decided to relent, "Yes, I am; you two are fun to tease."

"Teasing's not nice." Caroline pouted.

"I'm not doing it in a mean way. I was serious when I said I like you girls."

The twins were stymied for a minute until Cassidy connected it. "So, you were also serious when you said you like our mom?"

Andy hopped off the island and leaned against it, putting herself more at eyelevel with them, careful to keep her stance open and she made eye contact with both. "If I said that I like her very much, would you all have a problem with that?"

Cassidy continued to stare hard at Andy, while Caroline looked at her feet and shifted around, looking suddenly very uncomfortable.

"Look, you don't have to answer that right now if you don't want to. But you asked so I'm telling you the truth. I think your mom is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman and I really want her, and by extension, you both, in my life."

"And I think that Andrea is a stunningly beautiful, warm, kind and amazing woman and I want her to be in my life." Miranda moved into the room and stood next to Andy; she grasped her hand and brought the back of it up to her lips to bestow a small kiss to which Andy gazed lovingly at her and blushed.

Miranda released the hand with a slight squeeze and turned to observe her daughters who were both looking rather stunned; with Caroline also wearing a look of confusion.

"Mom." Caroline whispered. "Does this mean you're gay?"

"I've always hated labels Caroline. The only place they belong is on clothing or purses; not on people."

"This is kind of weird mom." Cassidy finally spoke. "I mean, wow. We thought you were dating someone, but Andy?"

The woman in question shuffled uncomfortably. "Maybe I should leave, let you all talk in private."

"I would really rather you didn't. We will not have another opportunity to see each other until this weekend and I don't…" She was going to say something that would sound extremely needy. "…wish for you to miss dessert; after all I ordered it specifically with you in mind. Cassidy and Caroline and I will have plenty of time to 'talk' tomorrow, once they've had a chance to think about it." She pinned them both in place with her laser sharp gaze. "Is that an acceptable compromise?"

Both girls nodded, but remained silent.

Andy nodded and hoping to ease the tension asked with a mercenary glint, "So what's the dessert?"

l l l l l l l

"So, that could have gone better, huh?" They were walking to Miranda's car after having endured a rather awkward second half of the evening.

The older woman sighed, at least they hadn't had a full blown meltdown; although perhaps that was yet to come once she was alone with them. "I suppose it could have been worse. With Stephen they wouldn't even sit at the table until I forced them to."

Andy crinkled her nose. "I wouldn't want to eat with that pompous ass either!"

"Yes well, why do you think I always had somewhere else to be, hmm dear? One could only take so much self-aggrandizement and insults; not good for digestion."

They climbed into the car and were silent until they pulled out onto the street and Andy asked quietly. "Why'd you marry him? Did you love him?"

Miranda snorted. "Love? I don't believe I did. Maybe at the beginning I told myself I did, but really, I was more in love with the idea of him. The image he presented; the image he allowed me to present while I consolidated power. Of course, he really didn't help much there, now did he?" Both remembered back to the black and white ball and Stephen's drunken tirade. Miranda sighed. "I'm afraid I haven't done very well for myself in that department."

Andy reached for her hand and squeezed. "I just don't think you were looking in the right place." She opened the hand and placed a quick kiss on the palm.

The older woman shivered, even through the thin leather of the driving glove the girl's touch ignited in her all sorts of liquid thoughts and feelings. "Perhaps not." She somehow managed to keep an almost casual tone.

But Andrea noticed the shiver and pressed her advantage; she had an agenda and intended on fulfilling it. So she let her hand drift over the shift console to rest harmlessly on the other woman's thigh; feeling the muscle as it flexed with each adjustment in acceleration, only increasing her motivation. She kept the touch rather innocent at first; just a light back and forth, almost as if she were petting a cat. Miranda kept her eyes on the road.

"So we won't be able to see each other until this weekend?" Andrea tried to keep the disappointment out of her question, but even she could tell she failed.

"I have meetings all this week and then a board function on Friday night, I'm afraid that Saturday night is the only time I'll have free. Even then, I have the girls this weekend…"

"So, that means?"

"I don't know what that means. It's really going to depend upon how they are. I don't want to force them into accepting this. I'd rather they adjust at their own pace."

Andy increased the pressure of her fingers and began to draw circles on fabric-covered muscle; widening the arc slightly to cover more area. "Do you not want to see me on Saturday then?"

Miranda shifted slightly. "That's not what I said." Her words were slightly clipped.

Andy's fingers dipped towards the inner thigh, affecting a more obvious stroking. "What do you want Miranda?"

Suddenly her hand was grabbed and held in a vice-like grip. "To be able to drive without sending us into oncoming traffic would be a good start! Andrea, please!"

A sudden exhalation into her ear, "Please what?" caused the car to accelerate slightly as the older woman felt herself grow ready to welcome a thorough exploration of just exactly what it was she wanted.

"Please stop."

"Only if you agree to come up to my apartment for a little bit."

"Need I remind you that parking in your neighborhood is absolutely impossible? I need to get home to the girls, Cara will not be back until morning."

Andy flashed a Cheshire grin. "You've left the girls for an hour or two by themselves before, haven't you?"

"That still doesn't handle parking."

"No…" Andy's fingers resumed their attentive caresses. "God I can feel how hot you are even from here."

Miranda nearly whimpered. "Surely you aren't intending that we double park and neck like teenagers?"

Andrea giggled. "No. Turn here by the way. I intend to fuck you properly against my apartment door and then on the dining table." She pressed two fingers at the juncture of the now thoroughly aroused woman's legs and pressed for only a moment. She then withdrew them and pointed to an empty parking spot. "There, pull the car in. Park it. Let's go."

"But…"

"It came with the apartment; I usually sublease it, but…not important. You won't be towed. Come!" Her voice was made more forceful by the sudden and intense need to have her fingers buried in the other woman's heat.

The older woman gasped, but exited the car and followed as if in a trance, barely remembering to turn and press the key fob activating her alarm. They were silent and did not touch, not even in the elevator as it made its snail like pace upward, both knowing that when they started that there'd be no stopping until both sated the incendiary yearning.

The lock gave grudgingly and Miranda felt herself being pushed into the darkness of Andy's foyer, the door slamming behind them after having been kicked by a very determined Doc Marten. Then there was nothing but sensation; Andrea's lips on hers, bruising in intensity, hands pushing her coat to the floor. Purses and laptop bag dropping with little care. And then fingers sliding under the loose material of her sweater, finding with ease the hardened nipples, unfettered by lingerie. Both women moaned into the kiss at the contact and then Andy directed for the older woman to undo her slacks.

Compliance was quick and she felt as the material slackened and slid to hang about her hips.

"God Miranda, I've wanted you like this since Sunday. When you fucked yourself in that Starbucks, you were so hot for me." One hand continued to play her nipple like a piece of clay while the other slid down her sloping belly to plunge directly into the source of her heat.

She grunted slightly at the intrusion but it quickly morphed into a protracted moan.

"You are so wet for me baby." Andrea's voice was nearly a choked sob. "Please baby, ahh, yes, ride it."

Miranda's hips had a mind of their own, driving to meet each thrust, sending the probing appendages deeper. "More…" She somehow managed to gasp out.

Andy slid a third finger in and then pushed the knuckle of her thumb up against the rock hard clit eliciting a sharp scream.

The older woman's eyes rolled back and her head slammed into the door as her orgasm sent a rush of liquid over her lover's hand. As Miranda came back to her senses she could feel the younger woman shaking as she tried to fight her own passionate response. Willing her body to respond the editor reached down and undid the button and zip of Andrea's jeans pushing them down to mid-thigh and without preamble entered her with two fingers eliciting a loud shout that sent a renewed blaze of desire through her.

She flipped their bodies around with such force that Andy's back crashed into the door, pushing the fingers still buried within her to new depth; she nearly shrieked as they rubbed against that spot within that drove her beyond all rational thought but held on, determined to maintain her pumping assault until…

Andy's moans suddenly cascaded into a pulsing cry as she came hard, inner muscles clamping down like a vice on the editor's nearly numb fingers prompting a sympathetic, although less intense, second orgasm from the editor.

They stood there for a moment, panting, leaning on each other and the door for support. Miranda's throat worked silently, trying to make a suggestion that they move, but was unable to push any sound outward. Instead she licked her way up from where her face had been buried in the collar of Andy's shirt and delivered a searing kiss that stole the air from the both of their recovering lungs.

"What are you doing to me, Andrea Sachs?"

"Me? What about what you are doing to me?" She let out a short "ah" that sounded like it wasn't a good thing and Miranda, conscious of the angle, shifted so that Andy could withdraw her fingers from where they were still nestled within her folds. Once removed the editor let out a disappointed sigh; she believed in that moment she could sleep an entire night holding her lover within. The thought filled her with a tender warmth and she leaned in for a kiss, keeping it gentle, hoping to express emotions she wasn't near ready to bring voice to.

After a few moments, Andrea leaned back and gently pushed her away; before she could question, she felt as the other woman shimmied out of her jeans inspiring Miranda to take stock of her own situation and she kicked the pants that had dropped to her ankles, along with her shoes, to the side. Still in darkness Andrea took her hand and led her into the living room dining area where she could make out the outlines of furniture and walls due to the muted streetlamp a couple of stories below the window level.

The younger woman leaned back against the table and looked at Miranda with, in the dim light, what looked like feverish eyes. She felt her hand grabbed and held between them, pulling her tight to the other woman's front. "I promised you the table Miranda; are you ready for me to take you here?"

She shook noticeably and the younger woman took that for the ascent it was. "Good, because I need to be inside you again. I don't think I can get enough of you." Andy caressed her naked bottom and moaned. "God you're amazing. You feel so soft." She squeezed the flesh and brought her other hand around until she was grasping at both globes, kneading them.

They stood there for some minutes, Miranda pushed up so her mound was crushed up against Andy's sopping core, kissing and nibbling at one another's necks, collarbones, whatever flesh could be revealed by noses pushing material out of the way until the older woman gasped her frustration at the barrier. "I need to feel all of you." Her hands unbuttoned the silky blouse quickly and then made short work of the bra, removing her own sweater with one sweep up and over her head. She then licked her way down until she was able to suck at the rock hard nipples projecting majestically from firm, full breasts.

Andy's hands had returned to the fleshy globes, amazed at how privileged she was to be in such a position. The sucking at her breast loosed new moisture and the older woman's body responded by trailing kisses even lower. The editor's hands tugged at her thighs, bringing her to the very edge of the table and then those same hands pushed her back until she was lying flat, legs dangling. A scraping of a chair and the reporter's legs were lifted and draped over shoulders; then for a moment, nothing. Nothing but shallow breathing, she could feel the other woman's observation with each exhalation then hands slid from the inside of her thighs upwards, spreading the slippery flesh, opening her fully to the cool air.

The first brush of the tongue forced a protracted moan from her lips and then her grip on rational thought was once again loosed as the older woman sipped from her like she was one of those wines she so adored.

"Yes, baby…" With each swipe more moisture was added and removed then a spearing tongue entered her, as moistened fingers played her clit like a violin. But it was the sudden wrapping of lips around that hardened bud as they sucked with abandoned and fingers that slid deliciously inside that sent her arcing like an arrow into the blissful sky, a keening note of pleasure nearly as silent as it was steady.

But apparently Miranda was not yet done with her for no sooner had she peaked than the assault started again, this time fingers played in the moisture but instead of once again plundering her depths, they moved further down, seeking another entrance moistened by her trickling essence, ready for exploration. The first brush of the puckered orifice brought Andy's hips off of the table; the second another flood of moisture which the older woman put to further use. She wasn't entirely sure of what she was doing. but she saw how much pleasure she was bringing so continued the experiment until quite accidentally the tip of her index finger was caught and held. Intrigued she let it remain, wriggling it slightly in experimentation and flicking her tongue at the clitoris that was now so hard it could have been made of stone.

"Sweetheart, oh, darling, can you feel me in you?" Miranda had never been one for much talk during sex, but something compelled her, that something that told her that her young lover would like it. She continued to suck and lick, increasing her attention on the bud as she increased the intensity of her dialogue. "Andrea, can you feel me in your ass?" She slid the finger in and out slightly and hardened her tongue, pushing at the base of the tiny bundle of nerves as she felt Andrea's body begin to quiver beneath her. "That's right, you want to come don't you? You want me to make you come while I push and pull in and out of your beautiful ass; don't you?"

Andrea sobbed and pushed down, driving the finger in to the second knuckle, eliciting a surprised cry. "Oh my god! Miranda!" And then she pushed over, body shaking, fingers grasping at anything to hold on to what little sanity she could still find in the overwhelming pleasure. Unable to even modulate the volume of her cries that rolled through her with each wave of pleasure.

All Miranda could do was hold on, she struggled to keep her tongue in a position to prolong the bliss as the younger woman was bucking off the table with some strength, but finally the younger woman calmed. The editor kept her finger in place marveling at how different it felt from being inside Andrea's vagina, tighter, almost painfully so. She kissed along the inner thigh and then stood, caressing up the woman's middle over belly and up sternum until she lightly cupped the younger woman's face. Heavy lidded eyes gazed up at her and she held the stare as she slowly withdrew, noting a new cascade of shivers as she did so that triggered her desire for this woman yet again. _Will it never end?_ She asked herself with incredulity and then decided it didn't matter so leaned down, careful to keep her finger away from the table surface and crushed a long, wet kiss upon the full lips still attempting to draw air into starved lungs.

"I'll be right back." And she left the younger woman flayed out on the table like a landed fish to step into the kitchen and wash her hands. She must have spaced out for a few moments because before she knew it a figure was wrapping itself around her from behind and turning off the tap.

Her ear was nibbled and then a long tongue licked from the base of her neck to just under and behind that same ear, intensifying the tingles chasing up and down her spine. "Someone was a very naughty girl, sticking their fingers where they're not supposed to."

She turned in the embrace, momentarily concerned that she had overstepped herself, but was reassured by a quick kiss and a whispered, "It's alright, I've never done that before…" She looked away for a moment, suddenly shy and Miranda knew that if the light were on she would see that telltale blush. "…but, I liked it. It was…different. Have you, uhm, have you ever had anyone do that to you?"

Miranda wanted to blurt out that she had never even really talked about sex with any of the men she'd shared her bed with, husband or other, let alone _**do**_ anything so adventurous, but shook her head no and chuckled. "Men always want to fuck us in the ass, it must be a universal fantasy;" she missed the intensification of Andy's blush but not the small tremor in the arms that had once again wrapped around her. "I wasn't interested; not because I was a prude, but because I didn't trust any of them enough not to hurt me."

It wasn't easy, but Andy somehow managed to choke out. "So you would be interested maybe?"

"You forget a lot darling, I told you I would be willing to do anything you asked of me." Somehow, even while standing naked in the dark and discussing sex acts the regal woman managed to dredge up some of her trademark coolness and she sniffed. "That does not exclude any particular positions, props, toys or…" and here she did falter slightly as she searched for the right word. "…orifices.

"There are a few things that I already know I would not wish to engage in, but I intuit those are things for which you would not wish to ask. Sooo, we can discuss just about anything your naughty little head gets into." She ran her hand along Andy's arm and then down to caress a nipple, taut once again from the conversation or their proximity or maybe it was the co-mingled smells of their sex. Whatever it was, she was finding it more difficult to focus even as she knew the evening was getting late.

"But I tire of talking, Andrea, I will need to leave soon and I find I want you again; I'm such a greedy bitch, aren't I? Can't get enough of you and here you are, neglecting me." She reached down and dragged two fingers through her folds, stroking several times then managed her most imperious tone. "I mean really, must I do everything myself?" She brought those fingers up to her mouth and was about to lick them when a hand darted up and grabbed it, holding it motionless between them.

"Oh no you don't. Mine." Andrea shoved the fingers in her own mouth and sucked with such force Miranda felt it all the way down to her hardened clit. "You should know better Miranda, when you test me I will always rise to the occasion." She kissed her hard, shoving her tongue into the other woman's mouth while she reached around and grabbed both ass-cheeks, pulling her up and in, spreading her legs so she had no choice but to wrap her legs around Andy's waist and hold on for dear life.

"I know you're goading me." She whispered harshly into the silver haired woman's ear. "You like it when I tell you what to do, don't you? You like it when I'm forceful with you; you want me to make you do things, don't you?" She dug her fingers harder into the fleshy globes and shook her.

A small moan was her only answer as Miranda tilted her head back exposing her throat. It took every ounce of Andy's restraint not to mark her on that perfect skin for she still needed to return to her home this night and she didn't want the girls to see their mom in such a state. "Oh woman, what you do to me." Andy nearly wept with her desire.

She set the other woman down and pulled her by the arm out of the kitchen and back to the table. "Bend over."

Miranda looked at the hard table and then back at her lover, kissed her once roughly on the mouth and then complied, arms positioned so they were above her head, but palms flat against the wood below her.

Andy watched the other woman's every move and the vulnerability stopped her in her tracks for several moments. The things she was inspired to do by this woman; she didn't know what it was, the chemistry, submission, love, trust? She couldn't assign it but quickly gave up trying for the other woman was wriggling, try to get comfortable and it was affording her a stunning view, one that just begged for, she didn't know what, so she parted the woman's legs and began to slowly spread her growing wetness, caressing the totality of the crease, from front to back. Careful not to have any penetration, just a simple enjoyment and learning, watching what type of a reaction from a particular touch at a particular location would be forthcoming, taking notes as carefully as when she was the woman's assistant.

She suddenly found herself wishing she had more than just her fingers to play with and decided then that some internet shopping was in order. But for the moment the woman beneath her obviously needed her, standing on tiptoes, seeking stronger contact, although…

A sharp slap landed on the raised buttocks and was met with a startled yelp. "Didn't I say you were very naughty before? Well, I think someone needs to be punished. Don't you?"

When no answer was forthcoming she slapped again in the same spot, causing her hand to reverberate with a buzzing sting that caused her own inner muscles to contract. "I asked a question, Miranda."

The woman below, who was so shocked and aroused that she couldn't remember what was asked merely whimpered. "Let me refresh your memory then. What happens to girls when they are bad, Miranda?"

"Punished." She panted out. "They're punished."

"Oh yes, and you've been bad. Putting your fingers in places without asking first. Fucking my ass without my permission. Very bad." She laid another slap, this time on the other cheek.

"What do you think? Should this be the punishment? A good spanking? Maybe I should put you over my knee?"

"Oh god!" Moaned the older woman.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Andy rubbed both hands over the slope of the woman's buttocks, "I would like that; but not today. No, tonight I think we go back to the bible. Remember 'an eye for an eye' sweetheart? I want your ass; do you want me to have it?"

"Please!"

"Please what, Miranda?"

"Yes! Please yes!"

Andrea smirked and pushed two fingers into her open vagina and then finding her so wide open added a third. "God baby, you want it so bad don't you?" She propped herself with one hand on the table next to her lover and pumped into her for all she was worth. Just as she could tell the other woman was getting close to the edge she backed off; leaving her fingers in but slapping a perfect white globe with her other hand. The spasm she could feel around her fingers informed her that one more smack would be all it would take to push woman over.

"Oh no, not yet. I need to feel all of you."

She completely removed herself from the wet channel and thought for a moment about logistics; with the index finger of her right hand she dragged some of the copious moisture up to the woman's anus and began a slow probing, pushing lightly, then pulling back, careful not to go in until she had enough lubrication. This just about drove the other woman off the table as the area was so sensitive that she thought she would pass out from the want of it. When the muscle finally began to relax from the constant prodding Andrea sighed as her finger slid all the way in and she stilled, getting used to the tightness that enveloped her. "Oh yes, I'm in you sweetie, all the way in. You feel so damn good Miranda."

She began a slow pumping, turning her finger in a corkscrew fashion, moving in and out, loosening the channel enough to be able to get some flexibility. When the younger woman was satisfied that she was ready she leaned over the other woman and slid her arm under her midsection. "I need to fuck all of you Miranda, but I can't do that in this position so you need to follow me now." She pulled the other woman back and dragged her so they were both standing, the older woman still impaled to the hilt. "Okay, I'm going to sit and you're going to follow, alright?" Andy sat on the hardback chair, closing her legs. "Sit back on my lap, but spread your legs, straddle me."

They rested for a moment, each getting used to the new position. Andy wouldn't be able to move her right hand but she wouldn't need to, it was snugly positioned right where it needed to be. "This doesn't hurt, does it baby?"

At the other woman's strangled "No." Andy began again, reaching around the front with her left hand, while pushing her legs outwards, opening the woman up even farther. "Good, because you are so fucking hot and I'm going to make you come so hard. I know you want that."

She caressed the firm nub and leaned back, gaining a better angle, and managed to push three fingers into the dripping channel. Andy moaned as Miranda screamed. "That's it! Oh my god, I can feel my other finger, oh baby." Andy started to rock back and forth, using her body to aid in the slow pumping into the other woman's core. "Yes!" She hissed, as the other woman pushed off with her toes. "I could do this forever sweetie, you are so fucking hot for me!" They found a synchronous rhythm; a slow, sensual rocking that seemed to stretch for hours.

Eventually the older woman began to shake, the stimulus pushing her higher and closer to total immolation and Andrea, sensing the change increased their pace until the nearly sobbing woman above her begged for release. Her response was to rock her thumb up into the bundle of nerves as she found within herself the energy to push just that much harder.

The climax, when it came, nearly shattered them both. Miranda screamed as her head fell back onto the brunette's shoulder, and her entire body convulsed in a pulsing, quivering mess that ended with full sobs and huge intakes of air. She was aware of nothing save the colors and smells and the relentless fullness of the other woman's body fused into her own.

They stayed that way for several moments until Andy realized she could no longer feel her right hand; she somehow managed to extricate herself from the other woman who had gone completely limp in her arms, standing and guiding her towards the couch where they collapsed back in an unruly pile of limbs and sticky flesh. She gathered the woman in her arms and hugged her for all she was worth.

Miranda had gone somewhere else completely, surrendering once again to this woman like no one else before. As she began to return she realized that she somehow needed this, that this extreme loving settled something within that she had no idea was restless. She turned into her Andrea and nuzzled her neck, sucking gently, licking across the slope of her jawline until their lips could once again meet.

The kiss was a revelation; no fight for dominance, no seeking of higher stimulus, a kiss for the simple beauty of kissing.

Andy smoothed the sweat-dampened silver hair away from the older woman's eyes and looked at her intently. "I know you may not be able to say it back to me, but I don't care, I need you to know, I love you Miranda, I love you with all my heart." Tears she wasn't even aware of tracked from her eyes over the slope of cheeks and then along her jaw. She sniffled and then laughed. "Oh fuck, but I love you!" She gathered her in her arms and fell further back into the cushions.

Miranda could see the sincerity and conviction with which the other woman delivered her declaration and it caused her great joy even as she felt herself stiffen; she understood that love was so often given out freely when one was young. She didn't doubt that Andrea meant it or even that she knew her own heart, but she was not young and she was not ready; it would mean a commitment the sort of which she was not yet sure she could make. So she remained silent, and held the other woman, remaining willingly captured in the other woman's embrace and poured all of the essence of the love she felt into a melting kiss that she hoped would somehow communicate what she was not yet ready to speak. That her tears also mingled with the younger woman's was not mentioned.

l l l l l l l

It was nearly eleven o'clock when Miranda returned to the townhouse, freshly showered but wrinkled and moving slightly slower than usual. She looked at The Book, perfectly aligned on the foyer table and frowned; not for the first time in the past year she found herself having difficulty mustering much enthusiasm for the impending task. She headed into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and turned out the lights. With a slight hesitation she picked up The Book and headed up the stairs to her third floor bedroom.

She peeked into Caroline's room, finding her asleep with the light on so kissed her forehead and clicked off the lamp. Moving on to Cassidy's room the lamp was on, but her daughter was not in her room. Deciding to put her burden down before going to find her wayward progeny she headed to her bedroom, crossing in darkness to the bedside lamp. The soft warm tungsten glow revealed Cassidy's groggy form, curled up on top of the covers.

"Darling, are you feeling alright?" Miranda whispered softly as she leaned over and felt the girl's forehead.

"Hey mom. Yeah; I was just trying to wait up for you." She looked over at the clock and then at her mother, noting her lack of makeup and un-styled hair. "We thought you'd be home sooner." She pursed her lips and glared.

Miranda shook her head, torn between feeling sorry she had not been there to process her revelation with her girls and a fierce protectiveness of the growing relationship with Andrea. "I," she wasn't really sure how to say what she needed to say; so decided to be as honest as possible. "I thought that perhaps you girls would need some alone time to process. And I needed to be alone with Andrea for a little bit. I won't be able to see her until at least Saturday and…"

Cassidy interrupted. "So? It never mattered before; you would go a week or more without seeing Stephen, I don't remember it bothering you then."

Miranda cupped her daughter's cheek. "Oh sweetie, I know it's hard to understand, but it's very different this time. I don't know how to explain it but I think I'm really happy."

"What do you mean, you think? You don't know when you're happy?"

The editor laughed. "You are a very astute young lady. I'm afraid that aside from you girls there has been no one else in my life who has ever really made me happy. That's not an easy thing to admit; so, I'm a bit hesitant to accept this thing that feels like it might be happy. Also, what you girls think is important to me; I'm afraid of what will happen if you don't eventually accept Andrea; so I'm not letting myself really be happy. Do you understand?"

"You would stop seeing her if we asked you to?" The young woman was clearly surprised.

"I don't really know honey. A part of me doesn't want to disappoint you girls, but another part is…I don't know if I could do it."

"It sounds like you love her! Do you?"

Miranda hedged. "I haven't told her that I love her."

"But you do, don't you?"

She looked at her daughter with a sudden weariness. "Cassidy, love is a very complicated thing sometimes, and it isn't always enough."

Something about the way her mother looked right then made Cassidy feel really sad and she decided to be honest. "Mom, I'll be okay with this. It's just going to take some getting used to."

Miranda hesitated, "You do realize that you can't tell even your closest friend about this right now? I'm sorry, it's not fair…"

Cassidy rolled her eyes. "Duh mom! We don't want Page 6 crawling through our garbage again any more than you do! Although that big bag of Patricia's poop really got some of them last time!" She giggled.

Miranda smiled fondly, some of her fears beginning to loosen.

"I love you my darling." She gathered the solid, but slim form into her arms and squeezed. "I don't know what I would do without you girls; I really don't."

"I love you too mom and I guess you could do worse; look at Stephen! At least Andy's not a snake!"

"Go to bed you."

"Okay mom, I think I can sleep now. Thanks for talking to me."

"Anytime Bobbsey. You know you girls can always come to me. Tell Caroline that whenever she's ready to talk…"

"She knows mom."

l l l l l l l

Andy sat in her bed, pillows propped behind her back, staring at the blank page of her journal, struggling to put into words the shift her world had taken the past week.

_I've never thought about my sexuality before, what it means beyond the context of the gender. I always knew I was gay on some level but shoved that down because I guess I wasn't ready. Once I was ready it really wasn't so hard; living in this city helped because I was free of the narrow confines of expectation found in my smaller, conservative city._

_Now, something new has emerged. A feeling of power, of owning my own pleasure. With men they were always wanting to take control of how pleasure was gained or given and I let them lead. But there was always a part of me, something buried inside, that was not satisfied, that was restrained._

_With women it's like there are no rules as to who takes and who gives. And in that vacuum of expectation something inside of me shakes loose. I find that I feel sometimes like I have no control, that this person inside of me emerges who is so dominant, all I want is to take total control over my partner's pleasure. There were glimpses of it with the other women I slept with but nothing like what it's like with Miranda. Something about her makes me want her on her knees; but not in a cruel way, something in me just knows she would like it and it just happens._

Andy struggled further with the concepts and what it meant for her.

_All of my friends and the magazines I grew up with all described sex as being between a man and a woman and it was supposed to be some kind of thing that could be gentle or energetic, romantic, all warm and fuzzy. Certain anatomical parts fit together and that's all it should be limited to. None of how it's been with Miranda has fit into that mold and I'm confused as to how this all fits. I'm not entirely naïve to variations but I don't really think I totally understand either. Maybe I should do some research. _

The young woman found herself laughing at the notion but decided that it wasn't an altogether bad idea after all, she was a reporter and research was one of the things she did best. She flipped off the light and mulled over keywords to search by as she fell into an exhausted sleep.


	5. Chapters 14 and 15

**It's the Only Life You've Got… Arc I  
>…so you better just live it<strong>

**Author: **raiderL  
><strong>Pairing: <strong>Miranda/Andrea  
><strong>Rating: <strong>M (or 18 or NC-17, take your pick)  
><strong>Summary:<strong> One year after leaving Runway Andy and Miranda meet up again and realize that there is an undeniable attraction between them. That they both know that the bond between them is more than merely physical doesn't mean there aren't roadblocks, namely Miranda's trust issues and her daughters' acceptance. **  
>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own the characters in created in either the book or the movie The Devil Wears Prada and I make no money off of this work of fan fiction. I am merely having fun, thinking "_What if?_" after the movie's end. Oh, there are a few characters in here that you may not recognize, they were created by me; please be kind and allow them to remain in their own little fantasy world.  
><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I have taken liberties with some of the supporting character histories, names and characterizations so that they serve my own purposes, some of them (like Miranda's ex-husband) are names used in other fan-fictions so I tip my hat to whoever may have used it first.**  
>Author's Note: <strong>_**Thank you to bearblue for her awesome beta work and encouragement!  
><strong>_**Archiving: **Only with permission of the author.

**Chapter Fourteen**

It was now the second night since Andrea had come to dinner and Caroline could barely look her in the eye. Dinner tonight had been as the night before, the girl barely touched her food and asking to be excused in a formal manner. The editor was frustrated; her days had been scheduled with absolutely no room for anything, barely a bathroom break, yet still she arranged to be home for dinner at six. The compromise was once dinner was over she would then have to retire to her office for overseas business calls to the west coast or the Pacific Rim that would take anywhere from one to two hours of her time and then she still had to review The Book.

Adding to her edginess was the fact that she had spoken to Andrea exactly once and when she did she was unfortunately abrupt and distracted but nearly too exhausted to care; she just had to hope that the younger woman understood.

So she found herself once again in her study, The Book in hand, making minimal progress due to the overwhelming incompetence of some in her art department. She decided that that new graphic designer must be color-blind and was marking a post-it note with just that observation when she heard hesitant footsteps make their way down the hall and stop just at the threshold to the room.

When she looked up it was to see Caroline leaning against the doorjamb, watching her intently. "Hello Caroline." She kept her voice free of intonation, wanting to give her daughter whatever room she needed.

"Cassidy said I'm being an ass."

"Did she now?" It was on her tongue to reprimand the mild swear word, but that was not the important thing right now.

"Yeah. She said I just needed to get over myself and let you live your life."

"Hmm, that does sound like our Cassidy doesn't it?" She stood from her desk and walked over to the sofa. "Would you come in and sit with me please?"

Judging by body language she could tell her daughter was hesitant and it made her feel very sad. She vowed to try to ignore her own feelings at the moment and try to help her daughter sort through her own. They sat in silence for several moments and when nothing more was forthcoming she prompted gently. "Do you think you would be able to express how you've been feeling?"

The girl looked away for a moment. "I'm really angry mom. I mean seriously? She's a woman and she's like what? Half your age? Everyone is going to laugh. I'm so sick of people saying shit to us about you and now? This is going to be horrible!"

The older woman tried to interrupt but Caroline was on a roll. She jumped up, flailing her arms in the air. "I mean mom, does this mean you're a dyke! I know why you were so late the other night, you had to go over and fu…"

"Caroline Anne Priestly, don't you dare say what was going to come out of your mouth!" The older woman practically shouted and it caught the ranting girl by surprise; their mother never yelled at them, ever. Of course she realized she had never acted like this either and had the good sense to feel embarrassed.

Miranda, even in her anger noted the embarrassed flush to her daughter's cheeks. Good, she should feel bad. "I don't know what has gotten into you, but if I ever hear this kind of talk coming from your mouth again I will ground you with absolutely no electronics or computers for a month, do you understand? I know you're upset with me but that does not give you the right to treat me with such little respect. I am not a dyke; or maybe I am a dyke, in the end that label is not for you to decide nor is it your right to wield it like a weapon. I have raised you better than to be a bigot!" Caroline flushed further and the editor forcibly willed herself to pull it together as she felt she was beginning to lose it again. She closed her eyes and counted, something she had not had to do with her daughters for some time now.

Caroline saw the action and recalled the last time her mother had been forced to calm herself, she had gotten into a fight with someone after the last divorce when they had called her mother some hateful things. And here she was, no better. She felt horrible and began to cry.

"I'm sorry mom! I don't hate you! I just don't understand! And I hate when I get made fun of and this is going to be so embarrassing, I just know it!"

Her mother moved forward and embraced her, pulling the now distraught girl into her arms and kissing the top of her head. "Baby, I know, I know this is going to be hard. But I'm not doing it to hurt you." She rubbed the girl's back and rocked them both gently, feeling as her own tears, which had been present since the outburst, finally broke free. "Shh, your mother has you, I love you…" Her voice broke slightly. "…that's not going to change."

She heard Caroline mumbled something against her chest and she pulled back. "What's that darling? I didn't hear."

"Why mom?" The young girl was looking up with watery eyes and a red nose.

"Why what?" She smoothed away the tears with her thumbs even as she noted the wonder in her daughter's eyes.

"Why are you seeing her and why are you crying?"

Miranda left her daughter's embrace and retrieved a hand full of tissues from a box sitting next to her desk. She handed several to Caroline then sat down on the couch and dabbed at her eyes. "I'm crying because I'm very sad right now. I'm sad that I've hurt you, even though I have not intended for you to be hurt. I'm upset because of your anger, it hurts me. I'm confused because I love you girls like nothing else in life but there is this other person who, in retrospect, has been very important to me for the past two years and I'm afraid that by accepting her in my life I'll be jeopardizing my relationship with you. I'm worried you'll not forgive me for continuing to see her because I don't know that I can stop seeing her." Caroline had stopped crying and calmed down enough to sit next to her on the couch. Miranda struggled with how much to reveal, she was only twelve, but old enough to understand.

"As for why I'm seeing her; it's like I cannot not see her. I feel so many things when I'm with her, so many things I've not felt before. It's almost a type of madness…" When it looked like Caroline was going to interrupt she explained. "…wait, I hate to say this to you but when you are older, you will understand. You will meet people in your life who will affect you on such a deep level that you will be forever changed. If you are really lucky you will meet that someone who you can't stay away from, that the attraction will be so strong that it is like a physical binding. Someone who knows you almost better than you know yourself. Someone who only wants for you to be happy and will do everything in their power to make it so. Someone who will wrap themselves around your heart like a blanket and soothe away all the pains you've accumulated in your life.

"You will meet many people in your life who will satisfy one of those things but it is a very rare and precious gift to find someone that embodies all of those things and more. When you find that, if you're lucky enough to realize you've found it, Caroline, it's not something I would ever want for you to ignore, no matter the package in which it comes. Male, female, black, Hispanic, whatever it won't matter to me when you find that because I love you and want you to be happy."

She reached out and brushed back strands of red blond hair, tucking it tenderly behind an ear. "This thing with Andrea is still early and there are going to be issues that arise, it is a very improbable match for me I know this, but sweetie, I have to try. I want to try and it would help so much if you and your sister would support me, or at least not hate me, for needing to do it."

"I'll try mom. But, I don't know, I just don't want to be made fun of."

"Oh sweetheart, I know." Miranda's heart ached; she remembered what it felt like to have her own peers be so cruel. She had sworn she would protect her daughters and here she was her own decisions creating just that possibility. But what could she do? Eventually it would come out, someone, somewhere would see something and then it would be out. And yet, the alternative, to not allow this to continue, when imagined nearly broke her. She sat staring into space long after Caroline had retired for bed.

l l l l l l l

Andy was starting to worry. And when she worried her concentration started to slip; she was in the office on a Saturday morning because she couldn't finish her deadline the day before. She had not heard from Miranda since Thursday, the two voicemails she had left and several texts, all unanswered. She knew the editor's life was ridiculously busy, more so because of her duties as chair of Elias-Clarke, but this felt like something different. She knew something was wrong; and had spent the last forty-eight hours combing through every conversation in their short re-acquaintance, every nuance within those conversations all in an effort to get to the root of why Miranda would not be in contact. It all came back to her daughters and that thought depressed her more than any other because they would be the one reason that her editor would reconsider.

She could barely make herself form the thought; that this miracle in her life would somehow walk away and leave her to a life that would be forever dull without the formidable woman.

_Fuck!_ She returned her eyes to the screen, reviewing the story she had somehow managed to cobble together. It wasn't horrible, but certainly not her best; but it would be accepted so she hit send and decided she needed to get the hell out of there as the walls were starting to close in on her.

When she passed through the heavy wooden doors and out into the harsh cold sun she had no destination in mind; so picked a direction and began to walk. For twenty minutes she walked at a relentlessly steady pace, unseeing of those she passed and unmindful of the urban landscape, so was surprised when her stride began to slow and she looked up to find she was near to Miranda's townhome. _Perfect._ No, not really perfect at all; she was not after all a stalker.

But she was far enough away that she could still turn around and find the nearest subway entrance, it would be a little warmer down there. At least the wind, which she just noticed had increased substantially, wouldn't be stinging her cheeks like sand on a beach. Of course if she went home it would solve nothing, if she showed up unannounced perhaps she would at least get some answers. If Miranda were home. If she would speak to her.

Why she doubted that the woman would see her she couldn't exactly say; it was just that damn feeling again. A heavy sinking loss in the pit of her stomach that gnawed at her; perhaps she should call one of her friends instead but without more information it would be an effort in futility, mulling over what ifs.

She paced for a few moments, hoping the movement would somehow keep the sinking cold at bay. No, there was only one real source of warmth for Andrea Sachs now and she couldn't very well get it if she didn't at least try.

Squaring her shoulders and reminding herself that she was an equal partner in this, whatever it was, she turned her body in the proper direction and increased her pace. She would have an answer, one way or the other and then something to work with.

What she did not prepare for was that when the door opened and she was invited in to the blessed warmth that she would find herself fifteen minutes later sipping hot cocoa in the kitchen with two twelve year olds as Miranda was at Runway and Cara grocery shopping.

It was really very awkward. The girls kept looking at her and she kept looking back at them, each trying to figure out what to say. Andy, since she was the adult, decided to at least attempt to get something going so tried for the most innocuous thing she could think of.

"So, did you guys finish your holiday shopping yet?" She mentally slapped herself for sounding like an idiot and knew the fact of it when they both rolled their eyes.

"Okay, sheesh, cut me a break here guys, this isn't easy!"

Twin heads whipped in her direction and Caroline shot back. "Easy? What about us? You're mom's _**girl**_friend! And how old are you? _**Twenty**_?"

Andy was caught completely off-guard, mouth gaping like a landed bass. Some part of her brain registered that she at least had her answer to what was going on even if the rest of her seemed frozen. She would think later that the only reason she snapped back without any thought at all was because her filter had frozen along with everything else. "I'm twenty eight, dammit! And yes, the last time I checked", she actually pulled the collar of her turtleneck out and peeked at her chest, "I _**was**_ still a girl!"

Cassidy giggled at this but yelped as Caroline gave her a harsh kick.

"Do you always physically abuse your sister Caroline?"

"Only when she's not helping." Caroline crossed her arms and pouted.

"What's she supposed to be helping with?" Andy was starting to get her equilibrium back and saw this as an opportunity to maybe help the girls feel better about the situation.

"The one where you go away and not come back." Caroline stood up so fast the stool teetered and nearly toppled over, it was only Andy's quick reflexes that kept it from knocking the extremely angry pre-teen to the floor.

"Hey, careful, you could have hurt yourself." Andy lowered the volume of her voice, trying desperately to not let the outburst hurt as bad as it did.

"What do you care? All you want is mom's money! That's why you're with her isn't it?"

"What? Why would you even think that?"

"That's what all of dad's girlfriends want, someone to buy them things and make it so they never have to do anything. We see it all the time don't we Cass?"

"Uhm, yeah?"

Andy blinked over at Cassidy's response and she could see that maybe Cassidy really wasn't having as big a problem with all this as her sister.

Caroline stomped her foot again and snorted. "Oh sure, don't help! What is wrong with you? Do you want us to be the laughingstock of our school?" She practically shrieked causing both Andy and Cassidy to physically shrink back.

"Jesus, Caro! Drama! What about Mandy's two moms or Angeline's two dads? No one cares!"

"They're not famous! Page 6 didn't write about them, they didn't care!"

Andy realized that this was going nowhere extremely quickly, as the girl was becoming increasingly distraught.

"Caroline, please, you don't know that it's going to be like that. And we're not planning on taking an ad out in the Post anytime soon. Would you please come back and sit down?"

The girl quieted, but stomped over to the kitchen counter and leaned sullenly against it.

"Okay, you put some really serious accusations out there that I would like the opportunity to dispute. Would you listen please to what I have to say?" Andy worked on keeping her face as open as possible and her words soft and respectful.

When nothing more was forthcoming the reporter took that as her cue to continue.

"You accused me of being with your mother for money or whatever other thing you think it is I want from her. I can tell you right now there is only one thing I want from her and that's her heart. I love your mother."

"Oh please…"

Andy cut her off. "No, I listened to you; I am asking that you give me the same courtesy."

"Why should I?"

"You love your mother and want what's best for her don't you?"

The angry girl rolled her eyes, but still managed a slight nod.

"Okay then, I'm telling you the truth. Your mother is the most amazing woman and I've been in love with her for probably about two years now, but I never thought it could be returned. When we saw each other again it was…" Andy smiled and her eyes misted. "…like the entire world was suddenly possible." Her voice trailed off and the smile receded.

"And now, now that I've not heard from her since Thursday, it's like all of my world has crashed in on itself and it's very dark. That's why I came here today; I was hoping to talk to her. She hasn't returned my calls and I don't know why. I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong. This has nothing to do with money, or with having a free ride. I'm building my own career, I have a comfortable apartment in a decent neighborhood, I have friends, I have family but without your mom and this fear that I might lose her, I feel like I have no joy." Andy really tried to not let the tears fall, but a few did anyway. _Oh god, why did I go there with them? They're only twelve!_ She looked up in time to see Caroline's face right before she ran out the room; she looked traumatized or something. _Great! Good job Sachs!_ She looked over at Cassidy who still hadn't moved, but had a really strange look on her face.

"Uhm, I'm sorry. You all didn't need that, I just, uhm. Is she going to be alright?"

"Caro will get over it; at least I hope she does. I like you."

"You do?" Andy was stunned.

"Yeah; you don't talk to us like we're stupid and you were honest. That's different. It's all different." She frowned and Andy stood beside her and gave her a brief hug. "I know sweetie, it's different for all of us, but I think the only way we can get through this if we work together. Although maybe I've just been wasting your time; maybe your mother has decided she doesn't want to be with me. In which case, this has been a total waste and I apologize for putting you guys through it."

Andy started to put her coat on and Cassidy looked confused. "Are you leaving?"

The older woman paused for a moment to dig out her gloves. "Well, yeah, I basically came in here uninvited."

Cassidy glared at her.

"What?" Andy was trying to figure out what she said wrong this time.

"We invited you in."

"Well yeah, but your mom would probably not appreciate me being here without her."

"Are you going to tell her you were here?"

"Of course, lying wouldn't be right."

"Wow, this _**is**_ going to be different."

"What do you mean?"

"Stephen used to try to bribe us to not tell mom stuff."

Andy snorted. "Stephen was an asshole."

Cassidy laughed. "Yeah, he was." The girl looked suddenly serious.

"Andy? Mom wants to be with you."

The tears returned to Andy's eyes. "Yeah? You think so?"

"I know so. Just be patient, alright?"

_Oh my god, I have a twelve year old telling me to be patient! _ She chuckled at the surrealness of it all and for a moment pondered whether or not that was even a word, then decided it didn't matter. "I can do patience. Your mom's worth it." She smiled. "Thanks sweetie."

And then she was back out into the cold, only this time it didn't seem to be as bad and when she entered her empty apartment, the fear was still there, but at the moment, manageable. She had a better picture of the situation and she would just have to wait; Miranda was worth everything.

l l l l l l l

Miranda arrived home about fifteen minutes after Andy left to find Cassidy in the kitchen helping Cara put groceries away. She walked over to the girl and gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head. "Hello Bobbsey did you have a good morning?"

Cassidy shrugged her shoulders and affected nonchalance. "It was fine."

"Hmm, was it now?" She eyed her daughter who had yet to make eye-contact with her. "Cara? How was your morning?"

"Busy, I really hate to do the shopping on the weekend but with my mother being ill..."

"Yes, how is she doing?"

"Better, they've moved her out of ICU and she's now in her own room, making progress. She should be able to go back to her own apartment in a few days." Cara's mother had a serious bout with pneumonia the week before which had required Cara to be out of the Priestly household frequently. Fortunately, she had several siblings in town that were also available.

Miranda watched her daughter's manner as she conversed with the housekeeper. "Well if you need more time, just let me know. I take it you know that you will not be required on Tuesday or Wednesday?"

Cara smiled, "Thank you, you've been a lifesaver this past week."

Miranda merely nodded and turned to Cassidy who was half way through the study.

"Cassidy."

The girl stopped and waited as her mother entered the room.

"Is everything alright?"

The girl's shoulders drooped and she replied sheepishly. "Andy was here."

At the younger woman's name the editor's heart began to beat faster and she gently lowered herself into the sofa cushions. "She was?"

"Yeah, she came to talk to you."

"Did she now?" Miranda knew she was treating the reporter unfairly but just couldn't bring herself to act differently. She had been experiencing a very uncharacteristic bout of indecisiveness where the woman had been concerned and it seemed to only compound with each passing day.

"Yeah. We asked her in and made hot chocolate, she looked really cold."

The older woman marveled at the kindness of her girls, despite their obvious misgivings about the whole affair. She remained silent and waited for daughter to continue.

"Mom, why haven't you called her?"

Miranda closed her eyes. "It's complicated."

"She's upset."

"What did she say?" She sounded more defeated than Cassidy had ever heard before.

"That she was worried she messed something up and wanted to know what was going on." She watched her mother's face as she delivered the next part. "And that she loves you."

Miranda was slack jawed. "How on earth did you girls get to talking about something so serious?"

Cassidy hemmed and hawed for a few moments. "Well Caroline got angry and accused her of only being with you for your money and then said some other stuff."

Miranda's face had gone still as a rock, Cassidy gulped, never a good sign. "_**Stuff**_, Cassidy? Really, have I not taught you better than that?"

"She got really mad and went off, screamed at Andy that she was too young and wanted you to take care of her and that she didn't care we'd be all over Page 6."

Miranda was reminded again that the minds of twelve-year olds didn't always behave in consistent or rational manners. "What did Andrea do?"

"She was really cool mom. She didn't get all freaked or anything, just tried to talk to her. That's when she explained that she wasn't interested in what you could give her, she only wanted you. Well, she did say she wanted something."

Miranda felt like she had been dropped down the rabbit hole. "Yes?"

"Your heart. That's when she said she loved you."

Miranda leaned back in the cushion and put the heels of both hands over her forehead. If she hadn't been wearing mascara she would have scrubbed at her eyes which were now burning with unshed tears. She felt the cushion dip next to her and two hands placed softly on her thigh.

"Mom? Why haven't you called her? Is it because of Caro and me?"

Miranda was too distracted to correct the young girl's English and looked at her daughter. "I said before, it's complicated."

"I like Andy, mom. It's okay with me."

"And what of your sister?"

"She got really upset and ran upstairs."

"What made her so upset? Did Andrea say something?" Miranda felt her hackles rise; no matter how she felt about the younger woman, no one was allowed to speak harshly to her children.

Cassidy noticed the edge in her voice and soothed her. "No mom, not anything bad. She asked Caro if she loved you and wanted what was best for you and then she told us how sad she'd been since you hadn't called or anything. Then she cried."

"Caroline cried?"

"No mom, Andy did and then Caro ran out of the room and I haven't seen her since."

"You didn't go and see if she was alright?"

"No mom, she pissed me off."

"Cassidy, language!"

The girl rolled her eyes. "She can be such a drama queen sometimes! And she screamed at both Andy and me, when I wouldn't gang up on Andy. Mom, are you going to call her?"

"I don't know darling, there are so many things to consider."

"But you love her and she loves you!"

"Yes, and I told you before, love isn't always enough."

Cassidy let out an exaggerated sigh. "Adults make everything so hard!"

Miranda stood. "Life is sometimes hard. I'm going to go find your sister."

"You're not going to yell at her are you?"

Miranda smiled slightly. "I thought you were mad at her?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't think, I don't know."

Miranda gave her daughter a hug. "You're a sweet girl. I love you."

"I love you too, mom."

l l l l l l l

Caroline's door was closed and she didn't answer with her light knock so Miranda pushed it open and peeked in. The room was somewhat dark but she could see a small figure huddled on the bed.

"Caroline darling, may I come in?"

The only response was a slight sniffle so the she entered the room and settled next to her on the bed. "Caro?" She brushed away the hair that had fallen over her face and then the tears that had mostly dried.

"I'm sorry mom." She sniffled again and then the tears restarted.

"Oh baby, come here." The concerned mother gathered her child up and held her while she cried.

Once the tears slowed again the girl hiccupped and pulled out a wet tissue and blew her nose. "Did Cass tell you?"

"She told me that Andrea was here and saw you both." She continued to keep an arm around her child, needing to feel the connection.

"I know I said I'd try, but then I said some mean things and I'm sorry."

"Can you tell me what happened, why you said what you did? We're you trying to hurt her on purpose?"

The girl gave pretty much the same accounting as did her sister but added. "When she asked me if I loved you and wanted what was best for you, I realized that I was being really selfish and that I was hurting you. You hadn't talked to her since we talked on Thursday and it's my fault! I made her cry and you've been sad and I'm sorry." She said this last part in a sniffling whisper and continued.

"I was mean and she didn't yell or say anything nasty. She just talked to me like she would talk to one of her friends. She said she loved you and she looked so sad. You need to talk to her mom."

Miranda was caught flat-footed and was reminded, for the hundredth time since they'd entered their pre-teen years, just how complicated growing girls could be. "I do? You think I should talk to her?"

"I know I said I wanted her to go away, but I don't know now. I'm really confused, but I think I do; she makes you happy, right?"

And there it is, the heart of it, leave it to her daughters to see so clearly; and happy? Well, she was realizing that the young woman really did make her happy if the absence of her led her to feel so much of the opposite. "Yes dear, but I don't want to be happy if it would be at you or your sister's expense."

"But then I would be maybe happy and then you would be sad. That's stupid."

"No, it's not stupid. You girls mean everything to me."

"Well then I think I could learn to be happy with Andy around. She was okay today."

"Okay?" The yo-yo of emotion that had tethered Miranda's heart started to level out and the maddening indecisiveness felt as though it was lessening. She chuckled lightly. "I guess okay is pretty good?"

Caroline rolled so her head rested in her mom's lap and she looked up. "Yeah mom. Will you call her?"

"I'll think about it."

"She could come over for dinner tonight."

Miranda stared at the mercurial girl incredulously.

"What?"

"Would you really be alright if she were to come over tonight?"

"Yeah mom." Then sheepishly added. "Besides, I need to apologize."

l l l l l l l

Andy plopped down in one the comfy overstuffed chairs in her living room, surveying the now pristine surroundings. Unable to remain in one place she had vacuumed, dusted, scrubbed and just about sanitized her entire space and allowed herself some small satisfaction that it looked even better than when she had first moved in. Small comfort. Too bad the intense physical activity didn't diminish her worry over what her erstwhile lover's next actions would be.

She bent forward and unwrapped the hair shammy from her wet head and set about dragging the excess moisture out. She had showered, in the sparkling clean tub, and was now thinking about dinner. Alone. Her friends were occupied as she had kept this night open to spend with the editor. She had some frozen dinners stashed for emergencies or she could hit the corner bistro for carry out. But nothing appealed.

She flung the towel over her shoulder and headed to the kitchen, deciding that another glass of wine would do nicely. The bottle was considerably lighter than when she had started her cleaning routine, indeed only a few sips splashed into her glass which she promptly finished off with one toss.

She was disgruntled to see it was her last bottle so searched for other refreshment, knowing that getting drunk wouldn't solve anything but she wasn't going to solve anything sober either so shrugged and pulled the bottle of Ketel One from her freezer. A few ice cubes and a splash of club soda did the trick and she headed into her bedroom to change and then dry her hair.

She was on her second glass, feeling even more disconsolate, staring at the pizza carryout menu when a soft knock, barely heard over the strains of Chopin's Nocturne No.2 in E-flat major, broke her from her trance.

_Why does this damn thing have to move so slowly?_ The editor was loathe to admit it but she was nervous. What if the other woman had decided that she'd had enough? That a fifty-one year old mother with twin mood-swings was just a little too much to deal with? She tapped her foot and pursed her lips, but after a few moments decided that wasn't the proper frame of mind so attempted to adjust herself. When the doors finally parted she exited with relief only to find her steps falter. Maybe she should have called; maybe showing up out of the blue wasn't such a good idea. Deciding that it was ridiculous to second-guess her gut instincts she walked the short, dimly lit hall and knocked on the white painted door.

It took a few moments for Andy to realize that since there was knocking she needed to actually remove herself from her seat and answer. What she couldn't figure out was whether or not she had actually called for a pizza delivery and how, if she did, they managed to get in. Both the alcohol and the curiosity of it all spurred her to answer without checking the peephole. Just as her hand was closing on the doorknob a louder pounding made her jump and she flung the door open with a pissed off, "Jesus Christ! Alright, already!" When she looked up to glare at the offender she found herself ensnared by the chilling steely blue of eyes she had missed so desperately.

The older woman had waited uncomfortably after her first knock. She could hear the strains of a piano concerto through the door so realized perhaps her efforts were unheard and tried again, this time with a bit more force. She started when the door flew open with a loud reprimand which brought her hackles up immediately.

The two women stood in startled surprise, staring for some minutes until finally Andy shrugged and turned away from the open door, indicating without formal invitation for her to follow. Andy plopped back onto the sofa, hearing the door close. She picked up her drink and stared at its remnants for a moment before motioning for the other woman, who stood still in the doorway into the living area, to come in and have a seat.

Miranda had a sudden flashback to the last time she crossed this threshold and shivered to think she had actually been contemplating letting this slip through her fingers. She settled on the couch, leaving enough space so they could converse comfortably unsure of why this all was suddenly so hard. She watched as Andrea finally looked at her, but was disturbed that she could not read the usually so open countenance.

The silence stretched between the two like a chasm, the music settling like fog with Andy swirling the ice and taking an occasional sip. She looked up after polishing off the drink.

"I was hoping you'd like to come back with me and have dinner at the house." The older woman hesitated.

Andy looked at the woman as if she'd suddenly turned green and sprouted horns. She picked up the remote and clicked the MP3 player off. The sudden silence was nearly as jolting as Andy's tone. "Miranda, what's going on?"

Pursed lips were her response and Andy groaned.

"Okay, look, here's what I know so far. I come to dinner earlier this week and the girls end up not being happy about our new arrangement then you come here that night and we have the most amazing sex I've ever experienced. I tell you I love you, with, by the way, no expectation that you had to return the sentiment; then, just about nothing. I hear from you exactly once and you were distant and then you didn't return any of my calls or texts; when I finally can't take the not knowing anymore I go to your house and one of your daughters goes supernova on me and runs out then you show up here unannounced. Oh, before I forget, I've been drinking so…"

Between the inscrutable looks and the sudden expulsion of speech, it was on the tip of the editor's tongue to lash out at the young woman, but she chanced one more glance and saw all of the hurt, uncertainty, fear and yes, even hope, mirrored right back at her. So she paused and held the unwavering gaze then, for the second time in two weeks, uttered a phrase few but her daughters had ever heard.

"I'm sorry."

Andy bit her lip, betrayed by its trembling, and reached out as if to cup the other woman's face but let her hand drop at the last moment. There really was only one response to a declaration such as this from the woman who apologized to no one. Acceptance. Yes, she needed some clarity, but considering everything was a bit muddled right now she wasn't sure she was in the proper frame of mind to ask for it coherently. So, what else was there to do? She wasn't about to let this woman walk out of her life.

She swallowed and said simply "I forgive you."

Miranda felt as though the press of a million weights had been lifted from her and she folded into welcoming arms, wrapped in an embrace that spoke of love and care. She hadn't realized how badly she needed this, the warmth melting away this newest wall of reserve she had constructed around her heart.

They sat quietly absorbing the comfort, each inhaling the scent of the other, allowing racing hearts and fears to settle. "I was very close to ending this." When she felt the woman wrapped around her flinch she stroked her hand along the sleeve of a cotton jersey and snuggled in deeper. "I've been very conflicted; one of my babies was hurting and I was the cause. You remember what I said about being the subject of ridicule by my peers because of my father? I had a moment of absolute clarity that I was doing the same thing. And yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't tell you that I needed to make it better for my girls, so I just said nothing." She closed her eyes and let out a sigh then a slightly bitter chuckle. "Not one of my finer moments."

Andy kissed the silver hair, sobriety had begun its return when she had wrapped her arms around the woman in her embrace. "I know we've only just started this and I know you have so little time in your life, but something in me could feel that there was something different, something wrong. That's why I went to your house today. I just needed to know."

She looked down and the other woman shifted so she could meet Andy's eyes. "I didn't even plan it, I had been at work, but needed to get out so started walking and just ended up there. I didn't even know you weren't home until I was sitting in the kitchen and Cassidy was putting water on to warm me up." The reporter paused for a moment, gathering her courage. "So, you've decided, I take it?"

Andy's words were deceptively simple, but Miranda could feel the tenseness. "I don't think I had ever really decided otherwise than to continue this, but my daughters compelled me to take action. I am here to ask you to come to dinner tonight, so, are you available?" She said the latter with a soft smile which Andy returned.

"Considering I thought you were the pizza delivery guy…"

"Ah, yes, so eloquently welcomed into your home…"

Andy laughed, "Yeah, well, I didn't think I'd actually called an order in, but…" She looked sheepish, "I had kinda set my sights on a liquid pity party of one and some greasy carbs as my entertainment and sustenance for the evening, so…" She shrugged.

"So, would you be so kind as to allow me to escort you to a meal and the company of three Priestly women?"

Andy leaned in and kissed the woman's forehead, affecting a rather horrible upper tier accent. "Madam, I'd be delighted."

l l l l l l l

The drive to the townhouse was fairly quiet; Andy still feeling the lingering effects of the alcohol and Miranda the relief that she hadn't managed to completely screw it all up.

"So you're sure they're going to be okay with me being there?"

"Andrea, honestly? I am sure of nothing right now. Cassidy, yes. But Caroline? She's been all over the place. I know it's partly my fault, when Stephen and I divorced she had a difficult time dealing with the fallout from the media and some of her classmates. She is very sensitive to what others say and I've been at a loss as to how to make it better for her."

"It's a tough age. All you want to do is fit in, not be different; I know how difficult it was for me back then. I sensed that I was different, that I liked girls more than I liked boys, but I was really afraid of what everyone would think about me so I let it rule who my friends were and who I dated."

"So you believe you are gay?"

Andy laughed a full bodied laugh. "You mean I'm not just gay for you?"

The older woman took her hand from the gear shift and swatted her companion. "Be serious! I know you'd said that you had started dating women, but, well, we have yet to talk about how this fits."

"Yeah, I'm pretty much a lesbian. Nate and the other men in my life were more the aberration, me trying to fit in. Thank you by the way."

"For what?"

"For that Bill Blass suit. Hmmm. When I followed you into James' studio for that viewing, rode the elevator up with you, that was the day I realized I was pretending that women didn't affect me. It was the beginning of the end of my relationship with Nate and the beginning of my own personal coming out."

"Well." Miranda really couldn't think of anything to say, so continued to make her way towards the Upper East Side.

"Well indeed." Andy murmured and rested her hand benignly on the other woman's thigh, soaking in the warmth through the thin fabric of Miranda's trouser. She thought back on some of the websites she had perused a few nights before wanting to talk about what she had found but noted they were almost to the townhouse. _Another time._ She shifted a bit in the leather seat and her hand unconsciously tightened lightly on the flexing muscle beneath her. She didn't really know how to talk about it anyway.

They entered Miranda's home to the smell of fresh baked bread and something else that smelled heavenly. Andrea's stomach growled and she shrugged at the older woman's look. "I really haven't eaten much today."

Miranda suspected, from the thinner look about the young woman's face that perhaps she hadn't eaten much for a few days; she shook off the sudden guilt for putting her through the emotional wringer and gently grasped her hand. "Come, Cara made 'Boeuf Bourguignon' it should be ready."

As they made their way through the study they could hear voices and the light clatter of china. Miranda let Andy's hand drop as they passed into the kitchen and made her way over to her daughters who were setting the kitchen table.

"Hi mom! Hi Andy! You're just in time! Cara just finished everything; her mom called so she's talking to her but she showed us how to put it all together!" Cassidy adjusted the last of the silverware and then headed over to the stove.

Caroline, who had been putting steaming bread slices into a basket, kept her back to the room but managed a slightly strangled. "Hey."

Andy was very mindful of the tension and focused on letting it flow around her instead of settling within. The fact that she had barely eaten for three days helped, she was starving and the wonderful smells were singling her focus, regardless of the undertones.

Once they were all settled around the table the girls each passed their plates to their mother who ladled appropriate portions for both. Andy busied herself with some of the hard-crusted whole wheat baguette and then passed it around. When finally she was able to sample the main course her eyes rolled back into her head and she moaned.

"Cara is an artist! I've never had Beef Burgundy that tasted so good."

Miranda stopped mid-chew at the moan and had to remind her body that her girls were present. She flashed back to their dinner at the club the week before and should have prepared herself better. Andrea and food were a dangerous combination.

Caroline looked up from her plate the first time all meal and asked quietly. "Why'd you call it beef burgundy? I thought it was bourguignon?"

Andy smiled warmly at her. "That's just what it translates to in English and what I grew up calling it; I suppose the French way of saying it is more correct but…" She shrugged. "old habits die hard."

Caroline relaxed a bit at the calm explanation and the warmth directed at her. "Where'd you grow up?"

Miranda smiled at her daughter, relieved she was starting to come out of her shell, and listened as Andy described her childhood.

Cassidy interrupted at one point. "So, you didn't have cows or chickens?" She sounded disappointed.

Andy laughed and chewed her last bit before responding. "You know there are several large cities in Ohio and Cincinnati is one of the big three. I admit you didn't have to drive far from our neighborhood to get out into the country, but nope, just a big house and a lot of yard."

Andy's phone rang at that moment and when she looked down at the caller ID she frowned. "I'm sorry guys, do you mind if I take this?"

"Andy?" Bethany's voice sounded small and tearful.

"Hey baby girl, what's wrong?" Andy stood from the table and walked across the kitchen to stand by the sink.

"Uhm, I just needed to talk for a minute. Do you have time?" Andy glanced at Miranda and indicated she needed a moment, receiving a slight nod in return.

"Of course I have time for you." Andy could hear a lot of voices in the background, laughing and shouting. "Where are you?"

"I'm at a party at Gina's house."

Andy recognized the name of one of Bethany's best friends. "So what's happening?"

"I, uh..."

Andy was growing worried and her voice rose slightly. "Are you safe? Her parents are there right?"

Miranda's head lifted slightly and made eye contact with the younger woman, a question in her eyes. Andrea shrugged her shoulders and refocused on trying to hear the girl.

"No. They're out of town."

Andy was having flashbacks to some of the non-chaperoned parties she had attended in high school and cringed. "Talk to me sweetie."

"Uh well, you know how I was telling you about seeing that guy Jason?" Her voice lowered so Andy could barely hear her.

"Honey, I can hardly hear you. Can you move to a quieter room?" It took several moments and she could hear the phone as it moved with the girl, shuffling, muffled voices and then a door closing. When next the girl spoke it had a slightly echoing sound and she chuckled. "Kick someone out of the bathroom did you? Okay sweetie, you said something about Jason, right?" She moved toward the study and away from the kitchen clean-up activities.

"We're on a date and we've been here about an hour, uh, I've been drinking some punch."

Andy rolled her eyes. "I take it with alcohol in it?"

"Yeah."

Bethany's voice trailed off. "Beth, hey, come back here girl, you kind of drifted there."

"Sorry. I had some punch and we were making out and he wants me to have sex with him." She blurted out suddenly.

Andy sat down on the couch and closed her eyes, she knew her cousin was still a virgin, they had discussed that she was unsure of Jason and hadn't decided if he was the one. _I can do this._ When next she spoke she tried to keep her voice from carrying. "Sweetie, do you want to?"

Bethany sounded very unsure and her voice wavered. "I don't know Andy! I just know all my friends have and I feel funny that I haven't yet."

"Oh honey, you don't have to do anything, it's your body. Your friends don't live your life. It's a big step to let someone else into your body. Do you think you're ready for that?"

Bethany sniffled. "He said he was tired of waiting and I want to know what all the fuss is about."

Andy leaned over and propped her head on her arm, she suddenly jumped as she felt a hand begin to smooth some of the tension in her neck. "Okay, it sounds like you may have decided, but then why did you call me?"

"I don't know, I wanted to make sure I'd be alright I guess, if I did it."

"Bethany, does he have condoms? Can you at least be safe? Because I can't tell you what to decide. It will be different, but it won't fix your relationship. Jason should just back off and let you decide at your own pace. But if you're going to go through with it please do it safely. Promise me if you have sex with him you'll have safe sex, will you?"

"Yes Andy, I promise."

Relieved she allowed her head to rest against the thigh of the woman standing next to her. She could hear pounding on the door and a muffled, "Hurry up I have to pee!" over the phone line.

"Uh Andy, I have to go."

"I know baby, but before you do, remember that I love you no matter what you decide, okay? You are a wonderful young woman and Jason has no idea how much so. Remember, it's your body and it's your right to decide what you do with it. Take care of yourself and call me if you need to talk to me again, I'm here for you okay? Doesn't matter what time."

"Thanks Andy, I love you too."

Andy hung up the phone and slumped back into the sofa, she had tears in her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Miranda settled next to her and pulled her in for a hug.

"Yeah, that was just a little too close to home you know?"

The older woman simply held her and waited.

"That was my cousin Bethany who is seventeen, eighteen next month, a senior in high school."

"Yes, your father's brother's daughter, right? The one with whom you are very close."

"Yeah, her mom died about five years ago and I'm sort of like a big sister and mother all rolled into one for her." She explained the conversation.

"I'm not sure how I feel about all this, I mean, I keep remembering my own first time. It was pretty similar actually, only I was trying to prove I could be with a guy. It was alright, nothing traumatic. But it wasn't special."

Miranda snorted. "It rarely is the first time."

"I know, I was just hoping for better for her than drunk at a party, doing it because of peer pressure. But what can I do?"

"You could have told her not to." Miranda watched her lover closely.

"Right, like that would be a good idea. No, no, she called me because she trusted me and needed someone to tell her she would still be loved no matter what. I couldn't change the outcome no matter what." She sighed.

Miranda felt a wave of tenderness wash over her, this woman was so incredibly loving and compassionate. She realized then, that she had been looking at her own situation with her daughters all wrong. Thinking only of the negatives, what she would be taking away from her daughters with involvement with Andrea, never seeing what a relationship with this woman could potentially bring to them.

She brushed the hair away from Andrea's face and sat back; turning so she could look into her eyes. "You were very good with her. She's very lucky to have you in her life."

"She's a good kid and I feel really lucky to have her in mine. I am sorry about the interruption though. It wasn't the best of timing; I just had a feeling it was important."

"Never apologize for being compassionate and loving, darling."

Andy looked up at her through her lashes and stroked a hand along the flawless pale skin of the older woman's face. "I need to kiss you. Where are your girls?"

"They went up the back stairs to the second floor media room. They're picking out a movie for us."

Andy grinned. "Is that so? Lucky me then."

Their lips moved against one another languidly, each tasting and savoring the other. It lasted several long minutes, until they both sensed that they'd kept the twins waiting long enough. Miranda stood first, offering her hand and pulled the other woman up with surprising strength.

Andy grinned and gently squeezed Miranda's upper arm. "Ooh, I love a woman with muscles."

"Come on you, time to meet our fate. God only knows what those two have in store for us."

They ascended the steps hand in hand and this time, when they entered the room, Miranda didn't let go.

"Hey Andy! Is everything alright?" Cassidy looked at Andy in concern, they could tell from what little they heard that whoever was on the other end of the line worried her a great deal.

"Thanks for asking Cassidy, yeah, it will be, eventually. It was my cousin, she's seventeen, she was having a rough time there."

"But you helped her right?" This from Caroline.

"I hope so. She's a good kid, just in a situation that was kind of intimidating for her. But don't worry, she'll be alright." Andy was trying to tell herself that more so than the young girl in front of her, knowing that whatever happened she'd be there for her. "So, what do you all have planned for us?"

Caroline brightened and then suddenly grew serious, she looked at her sister and then at the floor. "Uh Andy? I'm sorry about earlier today. I really don't think those things I said about you."

Andy took a place near the center of the couch and looked closely at the girl; she seemed sincere. "Thank you Caroline; I accept. Are you feeling better now?"

The girl nodded. "Yeah, I think so. It's still weird, but you're not that bad and you could've been really mean, but you weren't."

"Well I don't want you to feel weird, so whatever I can do to help you not feel that way, just let me know, okay? I'll do my best." She smiled one of her full smiles and the girl blushed and looked away.

Miranda settled near to Andy and then motioned for her discombobulated daughter to come sit next to her. Caroline snuggled into her mom, who kissed the top of her head, while Cassidy took the other side of the couch and tucked herself into the corner with a bowl of popcorn and the remote.

Andy eyed the bowl. _Time to lighten the mood._ "I hope you're planning on sharing that missy."

Cassidy laughed. "Maybe."

"You better Cass!" Caroline sounded more like her normal self and the women began to relax; both thinking along the same lines. _Maybe this can work after all. _

l l l l l l l

"They look kinda cute together don't they?"

"Oooo Cass, cute? Mom would kill you if she heard you call her cute."

"Shh, you'll wake them up!"

"You, shush. It's not my big mouth talking."

"Do you think we should wake them up? That doesn't look like a really comfortable position that Andy's in."

"I don't know, maybe…"

Andy felt like she was immersed in a vat of gelatin, trying desperately to reach the surface. It was the sing-song of child-like voices that finally pulled her from the depths and her dark eyelashes began to flutter, opening her sleepy brown eyes to the sight of twin girls watching her. She tried to move but found she was pinned by the solid weight of another; silver head resting below her chin. She tightened her arms around the woman so soundly asleep and forgetting her audience for a moment, kissed the smooth locks tenderly. This drew a gasp from one of her watchers and she sighed.

"Hey girls, what time is it?"

"Almost midnight."

Andy could feel the body next to hers begin to wake, a fact that was confirmed when a slightly hoarse voice queried "And why are you girls still up?"

"Mom, it _**is**_ a Saturday night." Caroline stared at the women, willing herself to accept the scene before her. This was her life now and she knew, for her mother's sake, she'd need to get over it.

Miranda sat up slightly and reclined back into the comfortable cushions. "Hmm, sorry I couldn't stay awake for the end of the last movie, did you girls enjoy it?"

"Yeah mom, it was cool."

"Is Andy going to stay over?" Cassidy knew her mother wasn't going to drive anywhere and she didn't want the younger woman to take the subway home alone.

"Would that be okay? She can stay in one of the guestrooms."

"Mom." Cassidy glanced at her sister and Caroline, despite her discomfort, nodded. "Is that where you want her to stay?"

Andy laid there, making herself and unobtrusive as possible, letting the strange negotiation wash over her.

"I want whatever will make you girls feel comfortable."

Caroline finally just huffed. "She can sleep wherever you want, but that means we get omelets in the morning. Okay?"

Miranda smiled at both girls. "I promise; omelets. Now say goodnight, it's time for all of us to get some sleep."

l l l l l l l

"Okay, that was a little bit weird."

"Oh, how so dear?" Miranda closed the bedroom door and headed towards the bathroom.

"Your girls, they, well, it's just going to take some getting used to navigating the ups and downs with them." Andy looked around at the large, welcoming master bedroom and marveled at its sybaritic comfort.

"Yes, I know, they are remarkable girls, but girls just the same. They don't know what they want or feel from one moment to the next. I expect it will be like this for awhile. I should have asked, are you comfortable sleeping in here with me?"

Andy came up behind the other woman at the sink, wrapping her arms around her middle and placed at kiss at the base of her neck. "Hmm, I'll get used to it. The fringe benefits…" She nibbled a bit at the warm skin. "…really help with the adjustment."

"Mmm, yes. But tonight I think all I can really do is sleep, it's been an exhausting few days and I feel a bit self-conscious with them down the hall and it being so new for them." She turned in the embrace, worried that the other woman would be put off. "Is that alright with you?"

Andy saw the trepidation and smiled gently. "It's more than alright, all I want to do is know that you're next to me and that we're together. It doesn't always have to be about sex."

Miranda studied her for several seconds longer and relieved, kissed her gently. "Thank you."

"For what?" Andy's eyes were full of mirth.

"For being so very understanding and patient. I don't know what I've done to deserve you."

"No." She said seriously. "I don't understand what I've done to deserve you. Come on, let's get ready, I want to hold you all night." She started to remove her blouse but stopped. "Uhm, I didn't bring anything to wear."

"I'm sure I can find something for you. What do you usually wear to sleep in?"

Andy grinned a sly smile. "Nothing."

Miranda's heart rate picked up at the image of it but… "I don't think that will do right now, how about a silk nightshirt? Do you think you'd be comfortable in that?"

Andy trailed the fashion queen over to a door and watched as she keyed in a code in a pad next to it. The door clicked and she found herself stepping into another world, Miranda's hallowed domain, her closet. She stopped dead in her tracks as a switch was thrown, illuminating the space.

Miranda smiled and then laughed at the shocked expression. "I know you didn't expect that a tiny little cubbyhole would be sufficient for my needs now did you dear?"

"It's bigger than my bedroom!" All around were built-in shelves and drawers, recessed spaces with clothes hanging, many in garment bags, the appropriate shoes, in vertical racks, also recessed, situated next to each hanging space. "Wow! It's so, so…" She thought for a moment. "Organized." She finished lamely.

"Yes, well, I have sections devoted to each type of clothing, casual, evening, business and so forth. It cuts down on the time it takes to put things together. And then of course there are the formal items, designed specifically for a certain event, those things I only wear once." They walked to the back where Andy noted a full length tri-paneled mirror, and the woman slid open one of many pocket doors, revealing an astounding collection of fabrics and colors.

Andy gaped, now understanding the need for the security system. "You could purchase a small country with all this you know."

"But where would be the fun in that?" the older woman laughed again; highly amused by her lover's reaction.

Andy noted a blank wall a little larger than what would fit a doorway and puzzled at it. Miranda noted her questioning look. "What are you thinking dear?"

"That this blank spot makes no sense."

"Oh, why is that?"

"Every inch of space here has a function, this is a total waste of space; it doesn't fit."

"Hmm, perhaps I need to work on that, I never really thought about it that way."

"What do you mean?"

"Miranda pulled at one of the sections of the mirror and revealed another control panel. Keying in another set of numbers Andy heard the hiss of a locking mechanism release and then the wall swung outward.

"Wow! What is that?" She peered into a dark space that seemed rather small. A flip of a switch revealed a staircase heading down. "Seriously? A secret staircase!"

Miranda smirked and turned out the light and closed the panel. "It's late and frankly, it's a bit too," A chill ran through her body. "…uncomfortable to do at night, but it leads down to the basement and a special safe room. I'll show it to you tomorrow if you'd like."

Andy just shook her head and tried to wrap her brain around the amount of wealth required to create and maintain all she'd seen. She'd known the woman was in a much higher income bracket, but this was insane. She looked up at the woman who was studying her and nodded. "Yeah, sure, I'm really curious what one of those looks like in real life."

"Yes, well. Come, we need to get you something to wear." The woman went to a section nearer the front of the closet and pulled open a drawer; she considered for a moment and withdrew a long deep merlot colored, long sleeved silk button up shirt.

"Will this do?"

Andy fingered the material and hummed. "If I can't be naked, this might be the next best thing!" She looked at the other woman for a moment, considering. "Can I be honest? I got a little freaked out for a moment there, I started thinking about how much money it would take to create something like this, and then a safe room too? It just kind of hit me how little I do have compared to you. I mean, well, how will I ever be able to contribute?"

Miranda shook her head, she knew something had disturbed the younger woman and her hunch was right; but she was so tired and not in the mood for a discussion such as this would be. "I'm glad you feel like you could tell me. But Andrea, can we discuss this another time? I'm really not in the mood to give this topic the care it needs. Alright?"

Andy yawned. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Besides, I can't take another serious conversation; all I want to do is lay down with you and hold you."

They both changed and slid under the covers. Miranda switched off the bedside lamp then rolled over and into the younger woman's embrace; within moments both were asleep.

l l l l l l l

Andy's eyes blinked open slowly; unsure of what had awakened her. She looked around at the heavily shadowed room and could tell that it was barely morning. Then she felt it again, a slow tracing of her stomach muscles, down the outside of her thigh and then back again. She allowed her body to slide further back into the figure behind her and when the lazy caresses dipped under the hemline of her shirt and slid back up, skin against skin, she could not help the low moan that escaped.

The hand suddenly stilled and a raspy voice whispered in her ear. "You're awake at last." The hand resumed its sensual searching, this time seeking out the more hidden territory. "Mmm, and you're wet."

A lazy swipe of a tongue against her neck was followed by lips nibbling along her collarbone; her hips started to push back of their own accord seeking further contact. "Baby, please."

But her lover would not be hurried and the hand began a slow rocking that did not satisfy, merely touched her in a way that was meant to further arouse, not finish.

"Please what?" Another tickling whisper. Another lick.

"Please don't tease me." Andy all but whimpered.

Removal of hands and lips were the response followed by movement and a rustling of the sheets; she jumped when a warm moist tongue connected with the small of her back.

"I'm thinking an early breakfast in bed; darling would you like that?"

The warm, searching hands returned and pushed her onto her back. Andy allowed her legs to fall open and she groaned as the hands pushed her thighs farther apart, fingertips brushing everywhere but where she most needed them. The groan she let slip this time was louder.

Miranda was licking her way up a tense muscular thigh but stopped long enough to remind her increasingly frantic lover of their location. "Do try to be somewhat quiet dear, I don't think either of us are quite ready for tender ears to bear witness to our business." Then she hmmmmed, much like was her habit, directly against the overly sensitized bundle of nerves beneath her eliciting what would have been a rather enthusiastic scream if not for the pillow pressed against the younger woman's mouth. "That's it darling, mmmm, you love that don't you?"

The smiling editor gently slid two fingers inside her writhing companion, slowly increasing the frequency and intensity of both appendages and tongue as grasping fingers sifted through her hair. One particularly enthusiastic sucking resulted in her hair being painfully grasped as the woman below her arched and keened; releasing her only when she came back to herself, with a soft rubbing of her scalp designed to soothe the ache.

"Shit, I didn't hurt you did I?" The young woman still breathed heavily, but as Miranda crawled up the long sleek form she met eyes filled with concern.

"Nothing that can't be cured with an orgasm darling." Miranda panted and straddled the other woman's leg and dove in for a bruising kiss. She was so close and all it would take would be… "There, lift your knee, I just need…" She slid her body frantically for several moments against the solid form below her and exploded, releasing her bliss into the younger woman's mouth with another deep kiss.

They remained in their tangled and now sweaty heap, trading gentle caresses both women slipping back into a deep sleep.

l l l l l l l

When next Andy awoke it was full daylight and she noted the space beside her was empty and cold. A note on the pillow caught her eye.

_We are in the kitchen. The shower is yours, enjoy and then join us. M_

She made her way into the sprawling shower, the head dumping water on her like a falls, side nozzles pounding into her with thrumming efficiency. The shower was a delight and she spared moments as she lathered and rinsed thinking on how they might be used in other, more prurient, ways. She ended the experience much too soon, but her rumbling stomach and desire to see her love spurred her to cut her routine to its barest essentials.

She slipped into her clothes from the day before and, leaving her hair to dry naturally, went in search of the women of the house.

A scene of industrious domesticity greeted her, a pan sizzling, smells tantalizing and she stood in the doorway, absorbing the moment, feeling luckier than any lottery winner to be invited to share this space.

Caroline noticed her first and spared a slight wave. "Hey Andy! Good timing! We were just getting ready to make our omelets!" She stood at the counter whipping eggs in a ceramic bowl while her sister ground pepper from a mill into the mix.

Miranda turned her head from the sauté pan and smiled lightly, a spark in her eye when she took in Andy's presence. "Hey guys, good morning. It smells great in here!" The two women held eye contact a moment longer until the older woman indicated with a nod the direction of the coffee maker.

"Help yourself it's a fresh pot."

And so the morning progressed, all present settling into a relaxed interaction that did much to quiet any lingering questions or nerves.

They were just finishing their meals when Cassidy squirmed in excitement. "Mom told us she was going to show you 'the cave'!"

Andy had to think for a minute and she noted that the other woman looked on with amusement. "Oh! You mean the safe room?"

Caroline picked up the ball. "I guess you could call it that but we call it the cave 'cause it's hidden in a dark place."

Andy chuckled, "So, not the 'bat' cave?"

Both girls looked affronted. "Oooo, yuck, bats! No way. Maybe a dragon's cave."

Andy noted that Miranda nearly choked on her coffee and giggled with the girls. "I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole, nuh-uh." She thought she heard the editor mumble something that sounded like "smart girl" but wasn't sure.

"Can we go now?" Both girls chimed in tandem.

The foursome descended a set of sturdy wooden steps into the basement from the kitchen. Cassidy pointed out the wine cellar while Caroline explained about how it used to be a coal storage room; they passed what appeared to be a dumb-waiter and then stopped before the passage narrowed to enter another room.

This time Caroline took the lead and pulled the string attached to a single light bulb, it's dull yellow light throwing weak shadows around their forms. Next she pressed on a wooden beam from which a section popped free revealing a small keypad illuminated with green light; she entered a code and a soft hissing was heard before the wall behind her popped ajar, strong yellow light spilling into the space.

"My turn!" Cassidy hurriedly opened the door farther and slid in, "Come on!"

Andy unconsciously reached for Miranda's hand and she allowed herself to be lead through a low-ceilinged, short hallway. Expecting some dingy cement block walls, utilitarian lights and perhaps some folding chairs the young reporter stopped in her tracks; Miranda's closet had nothing on this. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She realized her slip immediately. "Oh shit, I mean dang, I meant…" She stammered at three outraged glares. She shrugged. "Sorry?"

Then she returned to her surroundings. Forget 1950's drab, she stood in what could be the set for one of her favorite television shows growing up; Section One's headquarters from La Femme Nikita. Modern, glass, wood, metal. A bank of monitors and a large control board were situated near the entrance; on the opposite side was a glass door, obviously locked that protected…gas masks and guns? "Jesus Miranda, is there anything you'd like to tell me, like what agency are you super spy for?"

The older woman merely rolled her eyes. "I am so sorry to disappoint, I am nothing quite so interesting; no this is the handiwork of the girls' father. He was always concerned, considering his family wealth and political standing, about kidnapping or home invasion. It's over the top I would agree but I admit, just knowing it's here makes me feel somewhat more secure."

Andy suddenly grew contemplative, for the other woman to show her something so key to her family's security was another sign of her trust. "Thank you."

Miranda held her gaze for a long moment, searching for something that Andy wasn't sure of, but she just met the look and projected all of her acceptance and gratitude. Then the woman nodded once, "You're welcome."

They walked further into the space, illuminated by warm recessed canister lighting throughout, stepping down five wide, wooden, open back steps with curving stainless steel railings that flared out as if an entrance to a ballroom. This lower level hosted a stainless vented cooking area, a glass fronted refrigerator that appeared to be stocked with many basics and a large table with six chairs for taking meals. Floor to ceiling cabinets, modern hardware flush to the highly polished cherry wood, dominated the entire wall in this section.

"How do you keep the food fresh?"

"Cara has a revolving schedule, no produce or perishables are kept but certain longer lived items like eggs and some packaged meats are first brought here and then moved upstairs. Behind these cabinets are dry and canned goods that get rotated out before their expiration and sent to a food pantry in Brooklyn."

"You could live down here if you have to, this is more than just a simple retreat in case of a break in." She idly observed as she moved farther into the space.

"You are correct, this space is equipped to be completely self-sufficient. It is bomb and fireproof, has its own electrical, heating, a/c, water and venting system and has enough food to last three months. There is also a satellite phone and the ability to tap into just about any communication system in the world." She didn't mention the other separate entrances leading to other areas in the house, nor the two separate exits that lead to tunnels allowing escape out into the city; she thought that would maybe be just a little too much at the moment.

"Miranda, this is…"

The other woman smirked. "Paranoid, over-the-top, the height of obsessive-compulsive? Yes, that does describe Jeremy rather well I would say."

"How much…" _Tacky Andy._ But she couldn't help it.

"More than the property above it is worth."

Andrea grew contemplative again, running her hand along the table edge. "Hmm, do you ever use the space other than for restocking or maintenance?"

Miranda looked at her with narrowed eyes. "What is in that pretty little head of yours?"

She lowered her voice, eyes seeking out their younger companions and not seeing them anywhere, drew closer to the other woman. "It's completely sound proofed isn't it?" She observed at the cabling above that served as a barrier between the levels, the solid table and a few other interesting looking features.

"Andrea…" The other woman nearly growled out a warning to which the woman in question merely smiled and affected her most innocent look.

"I'm just sayin'." She moved in close and then purposefully slid her hand over the fine curve of the other woman's ass, eliciting a loud gasp. "Possibilities Miranda, possibilities." She stepped back just as quickly and added, "Besides, don't you hate wasted space? You got it, ya might as well use it!" Then she giggled and went off in search of the girls leaving a very flustered woman to gaze at her surroundings in new light.

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Oh Nigel, one more thing," They had just finished a lengthy wrap up of the issue due to go to press that night and he had just risen from his chair. "…are you available to have dinner at the townhouse tonight?"

"Hmm, Cara's cooking or carry-out? That's not particularly difficult. What time do you want me there?"

"Plan on riding with me, would you be finished by 5:30?"

"I'll meet you at the elevator."

The rest of the day was spent tying up loose ends before the holiday hiatus. Miranda and her girls, on the alternating years she would have them for Christmas, would usually take the time to escape the city, heading to mountains for skiing or an island somewhere for a beach but this year, due to her extra duties as Elias-Clarke chair, she was unable to rest. She would take two days, Christmas Eve and day but then had several meetings and dinners planned and an endless mountain of end of the year financial and performance reports to review; the thought of which exhausted her. She needed an extended break desperately but there was nothing to be done about it, at least in the short run. This dinner tonight would be the beginning of her liberation; she figured it would take two years, not an optimal time frame, but to ensure her legacy, it was the best she could do.

l l l l l l l

"Tell me Nigel, do you believe a man can successfully be the editor of a woman's fashion magazine?"

They had settled into Miranda's study after a pleasant meal of roast chicken. Nigel had just taken a sip of his scotch and had to stifle a sneeze when he nearly inhaled the volatile liquid.

Once he had himself in order he thought about it, putting aside his questions as to which fashion magazine and which man. "Men are fashion designers; they have guided the look of entire generations by their artistry."

"True." Miranda conceded the point and waited.

"But a magazine is a different animal. It filters and refines, interprets and guides much as would a special consultant or as perhaps a friend, a monthly conversation which is a far more intimate relationship." He rubbed behind his ear and took another sip. "I think it comes down to who does a woman wish most to speak with about fashion? A man may create; he may select what is seen in a magazine, such as what I do, but to really participate in that conversation? Ultimately, no, I don't think he would be as successful."

He set his drink on the coaster next to him and leaned forward grasping his hands. "Is this your way of telling me that I'll never be editor of Runway Miranda? Because really, I have to hand it to you," he chuckled mirthlessly, "it's fucking brilliant."

The editor regarded the insightful man before her; part right hand, part best friend, greatly impressed by his logic. "My brilliance really is not the point here. I would have to say that you have made a very elegant argument; one which closely parallels much of the thinking I've been doing on the subject. I've approached it from every angle as the conclusion is not one I've wished to reach; I've always wanted for you to be my successor in the event that I retire. However the reality is such that in order for Runway to continue at its highest level I believe that it needs to be a woman who pushes it forward; a woman who, as you most eloquently stated, continues the intimate conversation."

Nigel spent several moments in quiet dejection, tucking a dream that perhaps he knew was never really his to own, into the deep recesses of his psyche. Once that was accomplished, at least for the duration of this meeting, he was able to step back and question. He found he was at a loss.

"Miranda, why are we having this conversation?"

The editor smiled a genuine smile. "Because dear friend it's time for things to change and you are going to be the lynchpin of that change."

He stared at her for several heartbeats, aware that perhaps he'd skipped a few, because there really only was one conclusion to be derived from the last ten minutes but still, that couldn't be it. "I don't believe I'm tracking this conversation very well, could you perhaps be a bit less circumspect?"

Aware that she was about to further contribute to his discombobulation by purposefully being incongruous, she continued. "As I have found myself in the position of chair and CEO of this wonderful publishing conglomerate I have considerable power. Power to shape and create all sorts of wonderful new initiatives, directives, and yes, even new publications." She paused for a moment, seemingly lost in the swirl of the liquid in her glass.

"I had long ago identified that a vacuum exists in the market, but have never been in position to do anything about it. Now, well, even though my term is said to be temporary, there are certain board members who are speaking out about their discomfort with the complacency of the leadership of the last decade. They are creating a space that will allow for an exploration of new ventures." She settled back a bit and smiled at her friend.

"This brings us to that vacuum; the modern male is currently served by a plethora of substandard or mediocre endeavors that pander to the seamier side instead of elevating the genre to what it could be. I'm not naïve enough to think that sex isn't needed to sell to men, instead I believe that one can sell sex in a more elegant and sophisticated manner."

She paused once again, sipping her drink, this time watching closely as the man before her filtered, sifted and finally comprehended. "Yes, you see now where I am going?"

Nigel picked up his drink and swallowed the rest of its contents and then nearly flopped back; he hadn't seen that one coming. "Men's Runway?" It had been a concept that had been bandied about for years, never finding ground, considered to be a risk too great. "You are going to do it?"

"Tell me Nigel; could a woman be a successful editor of a men's fashion magazine?"

She watched as the truth soaked in and broke free with his sudden grin that only grew with her words. "That's right Nigel, not me. **You** are going to do it."

And suddenly, where the conversation had kicked his figurative teeth in at the start, now he was filled with a euphoric sense of things being made right. He barely heard the "But" through his excitement, but somehow managed to pull his thoughts in order. "But?" He queried.

"But, it won't be today, it won't be tomorrow at least not officially and it's nothing you may speak of. There is much planning to be done and then there is the matter of training my successor."

He once again stared, this time counting the heartbeats, wanting to know for sure the number missed, before he could get his mouth to work. He adjusted his glasses. "You're leaving Runway." It wasn't even a question, but blankly stated.

She raised her glass, but then waved it gently in the air in a dismissive gesture. "Don't have the party yet. It's not like it's going to be tomorrow."

He sputtered and remained silent. She had completely managed to render him speechless. Nigel couldn't even begin to track the number of times his brain had twisted and turned within the framework of the last twenty odd minutes. He repeated numbly. "Your successor?"

The editor closed her eyes and inhaled deeply; speaking it now was making it all suddenly so real. It was terrifying; it was exhilarating. The path upon which the next part of her life would travel was becoming clearer with each step and it no longer was limited to publishing. "Yes Nigel. In two years I wish to be able to hand over the reins of Runway to my successor, someone intimately acquainted with the daily workings of the magazine, someone who has seen what it takes and who I believe will be able to guide it to the next level. But she's not yet ready and _**we**_ need to make sure that she gets ready."

He uttered a single word, and again, not as a question. "Emily."

"Yes. In the past year I've been slowly expanding the scope of her duties, watching, challenging her, measuring her creative potential. I believe she has it, buried under all those garish clothes, which, you may have noticed, have been a bit less so of late. With her confidence is coming an emergence of a unique style, a blending of those harsh lines and colors from her first years with us into something refreshing. She speaks a language that will guarantee connection with a new generation of readers. Not that I couldn't continue for a decade or two more and still be able to maintain the excellence or the readership, but that is not where I find my interests are heading."

"Where do your interests lay, if I may ask?"

"You may ask, but I don't believe I am ready to tell you as yet. But you will be one of the first to know, I will give you that much." She let loose one of her trademark shark-like grins.

"Miranda, I don't even know where to begin, this is, this is like someone just told me that the president pushed the button and in the next half hour half the world will be annihilated. I'm absolutely speechless."

"Well, while you're trying to recover your power to form words, simply listen a little while longer as I would like to discuss with you my short term plans and how you may help."

l l l l l l l

Andrea kicked shut the street level locked door of her apartment building and shook the snow from her coat; one to three inches had been predicted but already it looked like four; she smiled at the prospect of a white holiday even if it did mean a little extra time spent the next day navigating the sidewalks.

Once in the warmth of her apartment she opened the bag of Chinese, setting the boxes on the dining table along with her laptop. It may have been the holiday, but she was behind. Fortunately, she had found that with the reassurance from Miranda, her concentration had returned in full force and she had had a very productive day in the office. Now she just needed another half hour or so and she could put it aside and relax.

As she finished her Kung Pao chicken she contemplated her conversation with Bethany two nights prior. She hadn't heard from her and had decided to give her a day so she wouldn't feel hounded, but found she didn't want to wait any longer. The phone went to voicemail and she left a brief message and hung up, worrying. Deciding upon a different tactic she opened her email and was surprised to see that she had received something from the girl the hour before.

_Hey Andy, I feel kind of weird after our talk the other night. I'm really glad you were there for me, but I'm embarrassed, I don't want to seem like some stupid baby or something. I know you're probably wondering what happened, well, I'm okay and I ended up not doing anything. I was going to, but he started acting like a jerk when I wanted him to use a condom and we got into a fight and I told him to get lost. My friend Gina was pretty cool. She kicked him out of the house – called him a selfish prick! LOL._

_I think I should feel worse than I do, but really, I don't. Just sad that now I'll have to go back to wondering if anyone will ask me to dances and stuff. But my friends are helping; Gina's been really great especially. So that's it. Thanks for being there for me, it really, really made a difference. I love you!_

_Beth_

Andy beamed.

_Beth, I am so proud of you! You stood up for yourself, and there is nothing babyish about needing to confide in someone and to seek advice when you're unsure. I'm greatly honored that you chose to confide in me, it makes me feel very special. Thank you!_

_I do need to say though, even if you would have chosen the other direction I would have supported you, as I said, it's your body, it's your decision when you're ready it will happen and hopefully your first time will be better than mine. That's really all I want for you, to be happy and feel good about yourself and the choices you make._

_I just tried calling you but don't feel as though you need to call back now, although maybe we can talk on Christmas day? It's going to be weird not going home, but this year, well, I've found someone special with whom to spend it so after I'm done working I'll be having dinner with her. And her daughters._

_Not a word to anyone you. No one knows back home yet that I'm seeing someone, I want to wait a while longer because I'm just not quite ready to deal with dad and his 'stuff'. Or your father and his 'stuff' for that matter. And in case you're wondering, it all happened after I came back from Thanksgiving, I wasn't lying to you about not seeing anyone then. We met again at a party the week after._

_Yeah, it's someone I used to know. Someone you and I may have discussed over 3-ways..._

…_.._

…_._

_Oh My God! I could hear your squeeeee all the way here! Calm down before you bust something. And remember, NOT A WORD. Don't even mention names in emails alright? Can't risk the media getting wind; that would just suck for all involved, especially her kids who she would do anything for._

_Just know that I am stupid-bad happy and totally in love._

_See, miracles happen, even if churches say I don't deserve them! _

_I love you baby girl, talk to you soon._

_Andy_

She hit send and then sat back and thought about the impending holiday and what to do about presents. She was on a pretty tight budget, but wanted to give the girls and Miranda each something special. The twins were easiest, tailoring something to their individual tastes by allowing them to choose their gifts. But the editor was a different story all together. She had quite a few levels of anxiety to sift through concerning giving the woman anything.

On the surface, the money thing was huge. She understood that the 'Dragon Cave' wasn't something that Miranda had within her means to accomplish, but she knew the woman's wealth far exceeded what some might think. The editor was a shrewd investor and the research that she had done when she first started working for her had revealed a net worth in the tens of millions. It was mind-boggling and so what do you get the woman who can buy anything? All Andy really had was her heart so she kept coming back to writing something for her. She didn't often do poetry but she sat down and decided to give it a try. She centered herself and allowed all of the emotions to surface, everything, censoring nothing; all of the love, wonder, confusion, power and weakness that this woman invoked in her and then channeled it into a free verse.

When she was done she contemplated it, not Emily Dickenson or Marge Piercy by any stretch but she thought maybe it somehow communicated the upheaval, change and wonder she was experiencing because of their involvement. And her own evolvement of course, with which she was more actively trying to understand. She had used some of what she had found in her research in the poem, hoping that maybe it would act as a catalyst for them to enter into discussion of her feelings, and the simultaneous desires within.

It had never been like this before and she needed to be able to somehow discuss it. It was hard. They had sort of in fits and starts but really, tripping into a conversation in the midst of passionate exchanges and actively planning to talk about it were two different animals and she felt self-conscious.

She adjusted a few words and then satisfied, began the painstaking process of transcribing it to good paper with a narrow pointed quill pen she had for calligraphy. Hopefully it would be good enough.

l l l l l l l

"Merry Christmas, guys!" Andy gave a hug to both Lily and Doug as she crossed the threshold into Lily's one bedroom apartment. It was past 9:00 in the evening now on Christmas Eve as it took a while for her to get from the paper to Brooklyn but she was staying over so she could get back into the office early the next day. She swung her overnight bag off of her shoulder and gave each a hug.

"Mmm, it smells good in here, watcha' got cooking?"

"Ham, mac and cheese and greens; just like my mother used to make!"

Andy's eyes rolled back in anticipation. "I'm starving and that sounds great! You know how I love your mom's greens!" She dug around in her bag and pulled two wrapped packages out, placing them under the small, red tinsel tree that was set up on a table in the corner. Lights were strung along the walls and a small container with pine and cinnamon potpourri contributed to the festive atmosphere.

Lily handed the reporter a glass of red wine. "I'm really glad you could make it, I know we were supposed to do this tomorrow, but with the new exhibit starting this weekend, I'm going to have to put in a full day tomorrow."

"No, it actually worked out really well. Miranda has invited me to have dinner with her and the girls tomorrow."

"Wow, really? Sounds like things are going well then." Lily looked at her friend, seeing the happiness in her eyes. "Unbelievable, I never in a million years…"

Doug chimed in. "Oh, I don't know, you should see them next to one another, they are a stunning couple." He thought of the holiday party and grinned. "Girl, if you wouldn't have been there at Nigel's I might have been tempted to give it a try, that outfit she wore, I'm still thinking about it!"

"You gay dog! Go bark up your own tree!" Andy slapped him in the back of the head as she passed by him to settle on the couch.

"So why aren't you there tonight?" Lily wondered.

"Two reasons, one, I didn't want to be one of those people who ditches their friends when a new romance starts and two, we thought it best she spend tonight with just her daughters. She hasn't had a lot of alone time with them so they're going to Rockefeller Center."

"Do they know about you guys yet?" Doug played with the skewer that held his olives in his martini glass.

"Yeah, they do. It's been a bit of a rough week but I think it's going to be okay." She explained about the twins' reactions and Miranda's withdrawal.

"Wow, she's really serious about you isn't she?" Neither questioned Andy's feelings, she had already told them the week before that this was it for her.

Andy looked past Doug into some faraway place with a dreamy look upon her face and didn't answer for several minutes then realized her friends were waiting for her. "I know I am, but she's yet to actually say it, although her actions speak rather clearly I think. Isn't that what's important?"

l l l l l l l

"Bethany! Merry Christmas!"

Andy was getting ready to close up shop and head to the editor's for the holiday meal. "Anddddeeeee! I can't believe it! You and Miranda Priestly?"

The reporter was forced to hold the phone away from her ear for a moment and chuckled, glad no one else was around to overhear; and the child wasn't even on speaker phone.

"Well hello to you too! So nice of you to call, yes I'm fine." Andy couldn't stop her mad grinning.

"Stop it Andy, you know I'm just excited for you. Oh my god, what's she like? Did you sleep with her yet?"

"Bethany! What happened to that shy little girl I spoke with the day after Thanksgiving?"

"She's too excited right now to be embarrassed. I'm so happy for you!"

Andy could feel her cousin's excitement like a physical thing, her phone practically vibrated from the happiness she was receiving over her revelation. "Thanks baby girl, never in my wildest dreams. Never. I'm so happy right now and she is the most amazing woman."

"You said she has kids?"

"Yeah, twelve-year-old twin daughters, Cassidy and Caroline."

"Have you met them yet?"

"Yeah, and I kind of already knew them from before, when I worked for their mother."

"Really? Uh Andy, can I ask a question?" She paused and took a breath. "How old is Miranda?"

Andy sighed, people were always going to ask weren't they? "Fifty-one."

"Wow. Sort of like how my mom and dad were you know?"

The reporter paused, she'd never thought of that. Bethany's mother would have been forty-three this year if she'd lived. There was a seventeen year difference between her and her uncle who had just turned sixty. She was reminded that there really were no guarantees in this world. "Yeah kiddo, you're right. Wow. Thanks for that, both Doug and Lily have given me a little bit of grief over the age thing. You get it though, don't you?"

"Yup my dad might be an ass a lot of times, but mom really loved him and he really loved her."

They sat in silence for several moments, each remembering the kind and gentle woman who was Beth's mother until Andy shifted topics with a slightly hoarser tone to her voice. "So how's your dad been with you?"

"He started insisting that I go to church again, every Sunday since Thanksgiving we've had the same argument and it still ends up the same way; we end up screaming at each other and he storms off and I stay home. It's really stupid! I don't know why he can't just let me be!"

Andy rolled her eyes but held her tongue. "He loves you, you know. He totally believes what he believes and he's afraid you're going to go astray. Not that I agree with him, you shouldn't try to force someone to believe a certain way, but he's definitely old school."

"I can't wait until I graduate. Can I move to New York and come stay with you?" The girl sounded so hopeful.

"You know we've talked about this, you need to go to college first and foremost and you need to pick the best one for you. If one happens to be in New York…un uh, don't interrupt, I know you've got several applications to New York schools ready to be sent, but if you should get accepted and if you can get financial aid and IF it is the best school for you, then, we will talk. Okay? But you want to be a doctor right? Is New York the best place to be to go to college? There are so many distractions here; I just want you to think about what it is you really want, okay?"

"Alright Andy. I know you just don't want me around; I get it." Beth tried to keep from laughing but couldn't pull it off.

"Bethany Ann Sachs you know better." She put her mock stern voice on.

"Yes Andrea. Whatever you say Andrea. Okay An…"

"Shuddup kiddo! And Merry Christmas again. It's time for me to finish one more thing and fly out of here, I've got a date! I love you."

"Love you too, Andy. I'll talk to you soon."

l l l l l l l

Andy once again found herself slogging through a couple of inches of snow as she made her way from the subway station to the townhouse, thankful once again for her practical Doc Marten's although this time she had opted for her other pair, the pewter metallic Flash boots, her one pair of black True Religion jeans tucked in, wanting to dress it up for the holiday. The snow started to fall heavier and the wind picked up just a bit as she drew closer causing her to pull her fluffy black knit skull cap tighter down around her ears. Still, it was a beautiful afternoon, magical almost. Andy smiled thinking about the magic that awaited her, now only a few doors down, and a giggle bubbled up, growing into an outright explosion of joy and she had to stop suddenly to simply feel it. She tilted her head up towards the sky, blinking against the heavy flakes, aware of their demise upon the heat of her exposed cheeks, and hugged herself, twisting back and forth then, feeling particularly silly, darted the remaining distance as if the hounds of hell were on her tail.

Miranda, waiting not so patiently for Andy's arrival, was standing at the window of the front room, idly watching the large, fluffy flakes drift towards earth. Her daughters and she had shared a quiet morning of gift giving and breakfast making; this time she taught them how to make pancakes. They were both eager to learn and she thought fondly of their focus and concentration on doing it just right. Of course Cara would have to really get in there and do a deep clean around the burners as apparently the most difficult part of pancake making was being patient enough to wait to flip them. She chuckled at the memory of Cassidy's consternation when she had to go change her shirt.

Glancing at her watch for the hundredth time she reprimanded herself, _speaking of patience_, it had only been twenty minutes since Andrea's text telling her she was heading into the subway; she needed to practice what she preached. But she couldn't, she felt giddy, excited, like how a child would feel she supposed, having never experienced it herself, on Christmas morning. The middle-aged woman in her attempted to censor the joy but the voice of the spirit inside that knew no age had been getting stronger and more vocal; today it outright refused to be made irrelevant.

And so it was with this frame of mind that the silver haired woman watched as the form of her Andrea emerged from the swirling snowflakes only to stop suddenly. Her spirit leapt outwards at the expression of joy and she could no longer remain rooted to her spot; wanting with all her heart to share in that moment.

The door flew open before the girl even had a chance to press the bell and she was unceremoniously grabbed and dragged into the small vestibule between the inner and outer doors, shoved against the wall and kissed with an enthusiasm and intensity that drove all of the air from her lungs. When it ended they parted and merely looked at one another with smiling eyes for many heartbeats.

The smell of wet wool, the chill of unheated air and still frosted cheeks and nose, and dampness of melting snow through the silk of her blouse were all things the older woman sought to add to her memory of this moment. But most of all, pale filtered light illuminated the rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes of a woman who lit up merely at the sight of her; never had she experienced a joy so simple and in a highly uncharacteristic move she tightened her arms around Andy's middle and lifted and turned the younger woman, dropping her unceremoniously with a "Come on you" filled with mirth and lightness.

l l l l l l l

When they sat at the dining table Andy marveled at the eclectic selections, which, Caroline explained, were a combination of the favorite foods of the three Priestly females; roast duck (Miranda), Boeuf Bourguignon (Caroline) and pizza (Cassidy). In a nod to the holiday Cassidy's pizza was a turkey and cranberry concoction with a béchamel sauce instead of tomato sauce or cheese and ever mindful of nutrition, a whole wheat crust. Caroline's dinner was leftover from Saturday and Miranda had roasted the duck herself complete with an apple and pecan stuffing. Sautéed green beans and a salad of mixed baby greens rounded out the selections.

The head of the table looked at their guest and smiled, "I was unaware of your favorite so I am hoping that there is something here that will appeal, perhaps next…" She trailed off, not daring to truly hope that Andrea would be present for more holidays in the future.

Andy picked up and smiled at her lover's discomfort. "Hmm, I don't know, I think I'm going to have to force myself to try a little bit of each just to be sure." Her eyes lit up even more if that was possible as she eyed Caroline's selection. "Is that the Beef Burgundy Cara made?"

Miranda chuckled and forced herself to not dwell on her near slip focusing instead on the happiness she felt at having everyone she loved most gathered in one place.

"What holiday meal did you grow up with Andy?" Cassidy asked as she selected a second piece of her non-traditional pizza.

"The middle American basics, turkey, stuffing, ham, escalloped potatoes plus salad and maybe a jello salad. Oh and lots of cookies. Tons of cookies, it always seemed like we'd have enough cookies between what we baked and the boxes we'd bring home after visiting relatives to last until Easter, but somehow they were all gone by New Years'."

The girls laughed and Andy continued. "Christmas eve we would go to my mom's side of the family for dinner and then Midnight Mass, back then they still had it at midnight."

"So you were raised Catholic? Do you go to church now?" Caroline asked.

"Yes, I was raised Catholic, but I don't," She paused, trying to figure out how to word it so they'd understand, "I stopped going in high school, let's just say I didn't fit there, they are too narrow-minded and there were a lot of hypocrites. I could never understand how everyone could be so "love thy neighbor" when they were sitting in the pews, but then cursing one another out and trying to cut each other off when trying to get out of the parking lot!"

"We don't have a religion either!" Cassidy chimed in.

"Well how do you know I didn't choose something else?" Andy asked kindly.

Cassidy looked down at her empty plate and considered. "I guess I don't. Did you?"

"No, I didn't; but you shouldn't assume, I could have converted to Judaism!" both girls laughed but Miranda blanched slightly. _Oops, sore topic; damn, smooth move._ "So you didn't have to go to church growing up huh? Lucky you!"

"We went to see a bunch of religions when we were younger, even went to a midnight mass once, that's how I knew it was Catholic." Caroline preened.

Andrea was beginning to guess that perhaps the girls weren't completely privy to their ancestral origins so kept it light. "Oh yeah? That's pretty cool, you can see what everyone else is doing but without all that guilt that is usually heaped on." She considered her words for a moment. "Sorry, Catholics are big on guilt and I think I'm just a little bit bitter about it." She shrugged. "It works for some people." _Time to change the subject_. "So, do you all have any Christmas cookies lurking anywhere by chance?"

l l l l l l l

Once the dishes were cleared and dessert, a wonderfully light apple torte, consumed they climbed the stairs to the second floor den where a ten foot tall tree stood in all its splendor.

"Wow, guys, it's beautiful! Did you decorate it yourselves?"

"Some, mom had someone come in and do the lights and some of the ornaments but we put our own on there last night." Cassidy moved to point out the one's she'd made and then Caroline did the same.

"Hey Andy," Cassidy drew her attention after they had all sat down. "…there are a couple of things under the tree with your name on them." Caroline rummaged around under the tree and pulled out two beautifully wrapped packages, handing them to the young woman.

"Wow guys, thank you!" She looked over at Miranda, eyes smiling, to see the woman sitting serenely, watching.

Andy picked up her ever present laptop bag and pulled out two envelopes. "Uh, I really didn't have time to shop and I really didn't know what you girls would like, but I wanted to get you something, so, here." She blushed.

She handed the girls the envelopes and watched as they opened them at the same time. She had created two certificates, identical for both girls, entitling each to an event of their choice in Andy's company. "Uhm, you can decide if you want to go together or separately, it's up to you."

"I want to see 'Wicked'!" that from Cassidy.

"I want to see Miley Cyrus!" and that from Caroline. "She's going to be here in January!"

The girls chimed together, "Thanks Andy! Open ours!"

Andy picked up a fairly good sized box marked from both girls and shook it slightly. "Hey, no fair!" She grinned and tore the paper off to reveal a box with a very familiar label. "Wow! What did you guys do?" She opened the box to reveal a pair of red leather 14 eye Doc Marten's. "You really didn't have to do this. Thank you!"

"We know you had the black ones but…" Cassidy explained and then Caroline continued. "we hoped you didn't have any like these. We almost got you the ones you had on today, I'm glad we changed our minds, right Cass?"

Andy looked at both girls. "I love them; is it okay if I give you a hug?"

Cassidy giggled and wrapped herself around the reporter and then, after rolling her eyes, Caroline allowed herself a brief clasp then bounced away and spoke for her sister. "Do you guys mind if we go play with our new PlayStation games?"

"No Bobbseys, but before you do, come here." The woman gave each of her girls a hug and a kiss on the head. "Thank you." She murmured, her eyes a bit damp.

Both girls shook their heads, "No prob mom. See you later!"

Once the twin whirlwinds exited the two women looked at one another.

"They're very sweet, do you think they really like my gifts alright? I didn't have time to save money so…"

"Andrea, you don't have to worry about how much something costs, it's the fact that you are thinking of them and wanted to give them something they would like that's important. You cared. That's what counts for me."

"Well good, because I couldn't figure out what to buy the woman who has everything and I'm kinda broke right now, so." She shrugged again.

Miranda stood. "Come here darling."

Andy walked over to the woman and felt herself enveloped in a firm hug. "Would you believe me, if I told you that I have everything that I want from you right now in my arms? Because it's the truth, you've given me more than you can ever know."

Their lips met in a warm, loving kiss that lasted for several minutes.

"But I do have something for you." The silver haired woman bent down and scooped the other package from the floor. "Here."

Andy took the small square gift and quickly removed it from its paper, revealing a very distinctive red box. Her eyes widened. "Miranda…" she whispered. She opened the box and pulled out a black cotton cord with gold interlocking rings attached at each end. "It's a Trinity bracelet, I saw it and thought it would work with just about anything in your wardrobe, I…"

"It's beautiful, I love it." She slipped it over her hand and looked at it. "Perfect." Then moved into the woman's space and gathered her into a crushing hug. "I'm not even going to think about how much it cost, I know we're going to need to talk about that sometime, but right now, just thank you. I've never had anything like it."

She turned and pulled another envelope from her bag, the shape and texture of which Miranda recognized immediately. She gasped.

"I still have it you know."

Andy looked at her quizzically.

"Your letter explaining your 'resignation'. It's in my journal, marks my place." Her words were quiet, contemplative.

Andy was speechless. _Wow._ "I picked that paper out with you in mind, I wanted you to have something that was worthy after the shitty way I left."

Miranda sat slowly rubbing her fingers over the texture of the heavy paper. "It was all I ever thought I'd have of you."

Andy swallowed and kneeled in front of the now sitting woman, rubbing her hands soothingly up and down the outside of her thighs. "I'm sorry…"

Miranda reached up and caressed her Andrea's face. "Don't be; it brought us to this point, who is to say that if you had stayed we would have been able to get to where we are right now. We can't go back, only forward." She pressed a kiss to Andrea's forehead and then lifted the flap and removed the single folded paper inside. Before she could look at it Andy stilled her hand with her own.

"It's something I wrote, for you, for us. I don't usually do poetry, but, well, I needed to express to you how I felt when we're together, there is so much I'm just beginning to understand and I was hoping we would be able to talk about it, not necessarily today but…" She trailed off, lost suddenly in the steel blue eyes that captured her very soul. Then she was standing and giving the woman space, pacing over to the window, looking out at the dimming sky.

Miranda's heartbeat thrummed in her chest, no one had ever taken the time to create something for her; presents were always purchased, usually extravagantly expensive. She shakily unfolded the paper and read the elegantly curved script.

_None know me as I know myself  
>Even that knowledge evolving<br>Power rises and ebbs, flows into another  
>You draw closer<br>More than any before_

_A dance of discovery  
>Limits and pleasure<br>Bound  
>Soothing<br>Ascending_

_Twin rises to heights never imagined  
>Bowing to you, my joy then turning<br>A flip of a switch  
>Your pleasure at my command<em>

Andy stood rigid at the window, never had she given someone a piece of herself as the woman behind her and she worried that it would be too much or maybe not enough. That perhaps she had made an error; that the woman cared and wanted, but not necessarily in that way. She fretted over her style; perhaps it was too clumsy, too juvenile. Suddenly she felt very young and inexperienced and she shrunk, thinking perhaps she had just proved to her lover how improbable she really was as a match. So deep was her self-reprimanding that she did not hear the woman move across the room, so startled when she was enveloped in a sudden warmth that stretched nearly from head to toe.

"You are a marvel to me Andrea. Thank you." Miranda felt her words as completely inadequate so relied upon touch to convey her feeling. "Look at me darling." She turned the younger woman around and allowed then the tears that had formed in her eyes to fall. "You trust me so very much, I have no idea what I have done to engender such in you but I will try to honor it, I promise. I will never think less of you for expressing yourself; and that you did it so beautifully and yet so simply is a wonder. So." She kissed her on one side of her mouth, in the corner; "Andrea" then again on the other side "Thank you." Then once more fully, driving into her with a passion that spoke of the heat they could summon between them so seemingly effortlessly when fucking.

Sooner rather than later the kiss began to soften, neither wishing to overwhelm the twins with a heated display should they happen to wander back, and they parted slightly, arms still wrapped around waist and neck.

"Wow, just wow." Andrea murmured, gusting chills down the other woman's neck and back.

"Mmm, yes, wow." The silver haired woman pulled back, staring intently.

Andy felt the look as both caress and measure. "What?" She whispered, full lips were moistened as she waited, inviting another nibble which the older woman indulged.

Miranda pried herself away from the aching softness, but remained in the embrace. With startling clarity she realized that she would never want for anyone else but this exquisite woman to hold her and she stiffened; the fear once again rising within, but instead of backing away she tightened her hold of the brunette in her arms. She may not yet be able to verbalize the emotions that clamored around her heart, those that spoke of love and forever, but that didn't mean she couldn't begin to accept them inside and allow for a tenderness to grow around them, lessening the grip of the fear that she had used for so long to balance what she saw as an inconvenient heart. It was something new, something she had never before been motivated to try, until this unknowing creature dropped into her life, changing her forever.

She smiled as she reached in and stole her Andrea's breath yet one more time; maybe with the new year she will finally be able to let go completely. Until that time, she would just have to practice. Her inner self smirked.

_Oh yes._

_._

.

End Arc I


End file.
